My Husband Threatened Me

Mr: I’ve had these thoughts on death. If I ever blogged, it would be a post. I think death is necessary because “….” What do you think, honey?

Mrs: Nod. Hmmm.

Mr: So can I guest blog on your site?

Mrs: Without missing a beat. Nope.

Mr: What did you say?

Mrs: Nope. (Writing’s not exactly his forté, as good as he is at everything else.)

Mr: Well, with the WordPress password you’ll be giving me, when you die I’m going to put up all sorts of poorly written posts with bad grammar.

*PROGRAM UPDATE*
So no one’s getting my password. I’d rather die and leave A Holistic Journey a sealed vault of aspiration than let anyone spill a careless word in it. If you don’t hear from me for three months, know that I’ve been dining with CS Lewis. I’ll be looking over your shoulder as you blog. Keep those standards up or I’ll get mad and rattle your window.

Related post Ode to My Readers

152 thoughts on “My Husband Threatened Me

  1. I hope to have read enough of your posts long before that time ever arrives, so that I’ll never be fooled, not even by a master who knows you so well. But if you should see Mr. Lewis would you please tell him I loved, “The Screwtape Letters”. : )

  2. Too cute!! I wonder if I can go more than 2 days without blogging…but I think I will give my password to two bloggers here in case…cos I have a lot of stuff here and well, some of it is not too bad…not sure my kids would be interested, my mom has dementia, most of my friends are all French speaking…yep, another blogger for sure.

  3. C.S. Lewis is definitely one of the few people you could dine with every day for three months without running out of conversation topics. However, I do hope you will postpone the restaurant reservation for as long as possible.

  4. Be kind to him, it can be difficult living with a grammar Nazi! Their always two worried about how too write without they’re sentences having to many mistakes. Than there to worried too write anything other then they’re name. I two, can relate. (hehe)

  5. First I have read from you. This was hilarious. Good writing. Also thanks for visiting me on my treasure hunt blog. I haven’t posted there since the last hunt, but post in two other blogs. We will be treasure hunting again this summer. I’m sure we will have as much fun as we did the last time! It’s all about getting out in the woods and doing things you normally would not think of doing….like approaching a herd of bison!

  6. haha! No one gets the key; not one gets the password. It dies with me. Oh, your husband is so funny. “Of course you can totally screw it up, honey! bahahaha!!!”

  7. My wife already owns me, I have nothing to fear or loose, when I am gone, I will be beyond caring, but I’ll leave the password for her so my thoughts can still be with her!

  8. Diana don’t worry if for some reason he breaks your code and we see a post that looks a little more like a first draft. We will instantly know it’s not you. You have your own sassy style, that no one can match.

  9. Hehe, I’m honoured to have worked with you while you’re still in the physical. 😉 One of my favourite t-shirts features a doc with a stethoscope and reads ‘Bad grammar makes me [sic]’. My girlfriend and I each had one. We were going to start a band called The Ellipses, but we couldn’t find a third member. Lol xo Aleya

    • LOL I think the Ellipses endeavor would’ve been too sophisticated for the masses, Aleya. You know, a grammar T would be GREAT ha ha ha. And congratulations. Maybe I should put out a button for those who’ve survived the Grammar Mafia (I know the cartoon says Nazi but I’m the designated Mafia out here). Anyways, kudos to you lol. You more than survived, in fact. You thrived here. =)

  10. You need to stay. Your superpowers can do plenty of good. And for everyone’s sake, I hope you have a real difficult password. Maybe something grammatically incorrect? hehe;)

    • LOL!! “a real difficult password. Maybe something grammatically incorrect?” Brilliant, Nida. Oh, that would pain me – to be ungrammatical even in secret LOL.

      As to the superpowers, I dunno…see my spelling there…it’s bedtime. Better turn in before I turn into a pumpkin.

      Thx for the luv n encouragemt.

      Xxxx

    • Take out the words – and yes, he can do it and do it very well. =) A jack of all trades. Rides a unicycle, builds steeldrums (the instrument popular in Jamaica), fixes everything I break, you name it. =)

  11. D, the sealed vault of aspiration…is this something reserved only for your blog? Or do you apply this high set of standards to other aspects in your life? I just posted on this topic with regards to parenting + perfectionism. I’m curious to know if, when + how you bring this into play with your son. -EL

    • I look fwd to your post. I had planned to describe in a future post (when I can eke out the time!) another area where my perfectionism applies (as a consumer). I know it doesn’t categorically command all things, as the mess we call House testifies. I’ll just die if I try to do it all. But you tapped something big and that’s neat you picked up on the implications we can take into the parenting. You raise the ques I ask myself virtually everyday so I have no brilliant answer for anyone. This ques I had started to ask a few yrs back in the homeschooling planning (T was 3.5) evolved – after something like 120 drafts – into an article in a Christian homeschooling magazine.

      Did you catch my post Genius this month?

      So that was all to say I continue to wrestle with my obsessions in the parenting. But you know, the fact that I relocated to CA makes all the difference in how I parent and how I live. I’d be more of a tiger mom in NYC. My best friend, still out there, wondered the other day if she should encourage her son to take the entrance exams for the top high schools. I went to Stuyvesant, she Brooklyn Tech. He’s been busy with bball after school – he’s very good. I was surprised to find even Korean tiger moms in CA care so much that their kids keep up the golf (for both leisure and skill). Sports is more important out here. I realized it’s a healthier way to live, as I know you understand. Working the brain all hours of the clock and keeping kids sedentary obviously is asking for trouble, and yet that is the default approach to success where I grew up – esp among Asian-Americans. Not that NYers aren’t physically active, but it’s the academic culture, so intense. I told my friend that if I were there it’d be hard to push against the grain and not have him go for the test when all his friends were taking it.

      Hope you hung in there with the ramble. You opened Pandora’s Box. =)

      • Interesting point you make about the CA lifestyle…it is more relaxed! I’ve heard about that intense academic pressure in NY, but fortunately we are not a part of that world. My son does, however, play sports which can be quite rigorous in terms of the expectations. The good news is that I’m not so sporty–it’s pretty easy for me to leave that area alone in regards to applying pressure. But homeschooling– You must be made of patience! This is one quality I severely lack. I look forward to reading your Genius post.

  12. Hahaha. A holistic journey indeed. Or is it the holistic wayfaring husband? If I see that tagline anywhere here… I’ll know, and laugh. Well, it is comedy, right? RIGHT?!

  13. This is too funny! I suppose it is nice to have help with the blog setup, but then you may have nightmares about someone ruining it if he has total control. 😉 “Gotta’ love ’em anyway! ❤

    I have had nightmares for other reasons. #1 nobody cares or encourages me to blog–an obvious reaction to poor blogging maybe? #2 nobody reads my articles these days because I was derailed with Gravatar issues for such a long time. I really could have used help–good professional help, but I was blessed to figure it out by myself.

    The Peanuts cartoon was such an appropriate ending to the whole post!

    • Ha ha ha I forgot I’ve had plenty of technical help! Go figure, right? EXCEPT HE’s not the one to have provided most of it. It was a mutual friend.

      So thEre. =)

      Sorry you’ve had to fly solo. :/ Can be hard. I still don’t get things sometimes. *All these buttons* (muttering)

      • I almost gave up blogging at one point. I even wrote the support group and asked for professional help and told them I would pay. Well, the “pro” wrote with the idea of making big bucks. Since I don’t have any, that idea went down the tube. After the initial contact I could not seem to get rid of the constant advertising. Finally I managed that issue too.

        Maybe my birth name is poking its head up again–at least the headstrong part of me has survived.

      • The “switch over” for my Gravatar was a fluke discovery. You know I do not believe in chance, but most would describe what happened that way. One day when I was at my wit’s end, I happened to see that both my Gravatars had the same email address and I knew that could not be right. I was constantly bothered that I would respond to an article on some blog and my Gravatar would change unexpectedly. I very painstakingly went back to be sure which email address was associated with which blog and then made my Gravatar match the right blogs. That never should have happened in the first place, but it had. At least I am freed from that frustration now. Who would ever dream such a simple mistake would cause me so much trouble?

  14. Marriage has always been tough. I’m not married now, but it doesn’t look like it’s getting any easier. Just the other day I was thinking that marriage shouldn’t be hard work; maybe just one more thing that needs tending to, but not something that we should dread, but like I said, I’m not married right now. Anyway, thanks for your support and God Bless Both of You. 🙂

My Two Gold Cents in the Holistic Treasury

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