Readers’ Choice

Please respect my wishes. I. Do. Not. Want. Your. Like. On. This. Can I be any clearer, well-meaning friends? Tell you what. I will let you know when I really want it. I’ve hidden the button under the post so please don’t go tapping it on your Reader.

We’re not done with beauty. But on the heels of the party the neighbors complained about, I wanted to take the occasion to ask: What are some kinds of posts you would like to see more of here? We’ve talked about dreams, persistence, hope, death, loss, love, shame, fear, faith, parenting, achievement, money, childhood, race, culture, identity, belonging. There are the posts on clear writing and effective blogging, my helpless series on men and women, the behind-the-scenes exchanges between Mr. and Mrs. Wayfarer, dialogue between Mom and Boy – the blog plaited with poetry, with a touch of song (and dance). You seem to enjoy how I’ve used series to kaleidoscope through a topic. Thanks for welcoming our guest writers. One said that her blood froze every time she saw mail from me (laden with the edits). Wahahaha. Let’s just say your spirited support smooths things over. So suggestions and requests? You’re welcome to help steer the ship.

167 thoughts on “Readers’ Choice”

  1. You’re not going to like this, but I think all of the above. I like the variety. Sorry if that doesn’t help you much. And I like this post.

    1. Ha ha ha. I braced myself at the opening for some hard critique. All righty. I serve a variety platter so that there’s something for everyone. Thanks so much for the wonderful support, Josh.

      Diana

    1. That could be beautiful, if written well. =) The reason I haven’t done much with books is that to the extent you mean reviews (which you actually probably don’t but which most would imagine) is I’ve felt them to be narrow: the author is usually more excited to crank ’em out than readers are honestly interested in them. And then those who might be interested may not want spoilers (that’s me). The few movie and book reviews I’ve done were commentaries – which is what you do – because they broaden the scope. Anyone can get a lot out of them bc I’m not talking about the book so much as more universal themes out of it. I remember your glowing response to The Bondwoman’s Narrative, one such commentary I put out on the first book found to be by a female Afr-Amer slave. God, I was excited about that find. The professor who spent 10 yrs unmasking the pseudonym was bound by his publisher not to do any interviews (with me) then.

      “The role that books play in our lives” I will probably refresh a post I’ve written along this line. Sometime later this year. =)

      Thanks for the input, MG.

  6. Hmmm in addition to loving the variety (spice of life innit?) I’m really interested in persistence and identity. Uhm maybe because I’m at a point in my life when giving up trails me like a shadow, and all I see are people unwilling to be ‘naked’… you know, back to the Adamic roots 😛
    My opinion.

    …And this ( 😀 ) for that other bit you included.

    Lest I forget *hits the imaginary LIKE button*. Sorry, couldn’t resist.

    Love. Me.

    1. Ha ha ha. You, you….U! Ha ha ha ha. Those two I find myself circling back to, esp that small matter of persistence. It’s the Korean in me with the entirely unhealthy work ethic. And your PeRsiSteNt like is forgiven. More so than the ones from those who had the gall to go ahead and actually tap it.

  11. Good to know you have a leitmotif, D. Wagner would be proud. And dreams? I never would have made the connection. As for likes, that’s something of a leitmotif, itself. (I’m practicing with the word so I can slip it into one of my blogs. ;)) Must say, I was impressed with the song and dance. And I am always amused by the discussions with Mr. Wayfarer. –Curt

    1. Ha ha ha. I would never rain on your parade (you get enough rain where you live) but I’m not quite seeing that word in your adventurous blog. Will be nice to be proved wrong. =) Ha ha ha the rest has been noted. Thanks.

  13. Well my two gold cents aren’t going to be very helpful. I like everything you write. I love that you have such a variety, and everything that comes out of you is so… full of life and emotion, and down to earth. I just want you to keep on writing so I have something worth reading.

    1. Ha ha ha. You have great self-discipline. I really appreciate that. I am so busy with the homeschooling the next 7 days I can’t see straight and those likes woulda sent me over the edge. I get overwhelmed. Am human!

  16. I can’t help it. If I like something I hit the like button however you’ve solved that one. lol I like motivational stories. What prompts people to fight their way into a better position in life in spite of their circumstances.

  17. Oh, I like the variety, the parties, the dancing–you know, your usual. But mostly I like the LIKE button so I can let you know that I am reading whatever you are writing and enjoying myself. Even if no party (you gotta get new neighbors) and no dancing. bummer. 😀

  18. What? This is a banquet and no one is ordering. I think everyone’s on a diet and just wants water – and by water I mean the carbonated-imported-from-Italy variety. So I shall place my order:

    1. Definitely mom and boy dialogue – How IS life as the offspring of Mrs Wayfarer?
    2. Have you already talked about childhood aspirations and how those changed? Or not?
    3. Love anything dealing with “messy” emotions, showing vulnerabilities, shame, fear, disappointments, and unresolved stuff…not everything can be packaged neatly
    4.I Love recipes, lists, language and linguistics
    5. Humour, inspiration, random acts of kindness, ghost stories – Korean folklore

    That’s a real buffet…sauteed, steamed, with sauce, sauce on the side, you asked – you got it. LOL

    But I’m sure anything you decide will be good enough for me 😉

    1. You wOuld love all things linguistic. That was my major in college, along with a minor in Classical languages. You’ve rescued this post. I almost regretted posting it; I wasn’t looking for props.

      1. I have two dialogue posts, one of which is bolded right into this post so people can tap in. I have another in the pike (after the beauty series).

      2. Don’t mean to saddle you with reading but since you asked, this one on why we shouldn’t tell our kids they’re smart touches on my insecurities re: my capacity for success. Sat in my Top 10 for a while.

      Greatness, Part 5: Praise, Smarts, and the Myth of Self-Esteem

      3. Yep, have done that. Bolded the links in the post so people can tap in (fear, shame…)

      4. I actually have had a few posts on language sitting in the draft pile forever. Now I know I have a market (of at least one) for them. Thanks for letting me know.

      5. INTERESTING. Will be coming back to take this in.

      You sure know what you want, woman. I love that you can say, “Can you do this for me?” before unfollowing and walking away bc I hadn’t met your needs. LOL. Thank so much!

      Diana

      1. Unfollow? Neverrrrr! As per my usual impulsive self I just whipped up that list on the spot…so if in future it occurs to me “Hmmm, I wonder what Diana would do in this situation?” I will ask.

        Ask and you shall either receive or not receive. Either way, no hard feelings 🙂

        And you’re welcome 🙂

  19. I’m interested in books, your spirituality and your writing…I loved your post on how your writing felt like a true expression of you and your calling, even though you’d thought of doing missionary work. I enjoy all your posts though.

    1. I can’t tell you how special it is that my posts live in readers’ memories, Nicci. I really appreciate this thoughtful feedback knowing what a conscientious reader you are. Malcolm said books, too. i’ve actually (surprising – i imagine) shied from doing reviews for a few reasons. I’ve felt that most people on other blogs (while enjoying being able to write them) don’t really care a whole lot on the receiving end. What I’ve tried to do is commentary because that broadens the themes of the book to anyone who may or may not want to pick up the book. I’ll keep your input in mind. Thanks again.

      Bear hug.
      Diana

  20. Experiences after a loved one dies such as communication, feeling their presence…Okay, I may be a bit biased for now since my mom’s passing in December but I would love to hear from others about this. Oliana aka Cheryl-Lynn from Tournesoldansunjardin

    1. Oh, Oliana. Thanks for sharing this. My deepest condolences, my friend. I feel helpless. Those words don’t begin to touch your pain. By communication, do you mean still feeling tied to them?

      Diana

      1. No I mean spooky things like my coffee maker turning on at 3am, my cell phone acting staticky for no reason, my radio turned on when I get home. My mom is the only person I have allowed to visit if she wishes even though this spooks me…I love her more than my fear. My cat is acting weird at night as my cats did when my dad passed 10 yrs ago….so yeah, that sort of thing. I pay attention now ONLY because I miss her so darn much and we had an almost symbiotic relationship…I cut the umbilical cord at 45 when I divorced and moved 6 hours away. And yes, I feel such guilt now but that is also part of grief. Thank you for your kind words Diana. Blessings xx

      2. Wow. To all of it, O. How excruciating, honey, when it was symbiotic like that. Oh, you add nothing to anything with the guilt, you know. And yes, where that is part of grief I suppose you have to ride it. I’m glad for the peek into your story, Oliana. She would also have wanted you to live as fully as you can.

        Love,
        Diana

      3. Yes, you are right, Diana. Thanks you so much for being so present when you comment, Diana. You truly are an amazing person…and great mom:) Hope your little guy is doing fine!

      4. I was JUST thinking how far I fall short as a mom sometimes. (You have no idea. Can’t begin to argue.) But I’m so glad to be able to bear witness to your suffering this long, long chapter in your life, O.

        Take good care. Do something deliciously wonderful for yourself tmrw. Mom will love that. =) Maybe she’ll quit w/ the coffee pot.

        😉

    1. RoAr!!!! (Instigator.)

      FINE. Exopolitics it is, buttressed with exogeologic paleontogic propolitics. And if the post happens to go out to everyone but you that is not my fault. Take it up with WPress.

  22. I tend to enjoy your writing more than your guest posts, but clearly you have a passion and gift for drawing out other people. Maybe this will grow into more and more a collaborative effort with you guiding the topics, interviews and editing!!! An online ezine or group blog?? I don’t really care about the topic. The juice of passion, honesty and vulnerability are more important to me. Plus you have a gift for insight along with an edgy humor. In other words, do what you want!!! I have enough trouble figuring out my blog. XD Maybe I need to ask for similar feedback on my blog! 🙂

    1. “I have enough trouble figuring out my blog.” LOL. Go right ahead and ask your own peeps if you’d like. =) You said it: most people tend to skip guest posts. I do. (Gasp! Confessions of the HW!!) A big blogger out here has said people aren’t there to read his guests. He was right. I’d rather read you than someone else on your space. =) And so I’ve really appreciated the rousing reception on my series bc my hand is behind every word that comes through this blog (not that I feed it to the guests but that I gate-chk ’em). It’s my way of building something bigger than any of us can do alone, introduce friends to one another, build community, examine themes from multiple perspectives.

      “more a collaborative effort with you guiding the topics, interviews and editing!!! An online ezine or group blog??” This blew a fuse in my brain. Huh? Feel free to elaborate (even just a little) or think, “Hey, why’da I just give away one of my most brilliant idears? I take it back. I’ll do it myself!”

      I took in every word of your generous feedback, Brad. Many thanks.

      D.

  23. I love all of what you write. Every topic you touch, no matter how small, you make it like gleaming gold. I like reading posts and enjoy them if they have a message or some motivation at the end.

    There’s writing what others want to read. And writing what we want to write. Both can overlap. Keeping our own voice in either is probably the biggest challenge, at least for me.

    Cheering in your corner as always 😁

    1. You sure are cheering, Mabel. I love the distinction you draw: “There’s writing what others want to read. And writing what we want to write. Both can overlap.” The first is precisely what I’ve been mindful of, what has kept me from certain topics. Your opening praise gleams like gold.

      Breath taken.

      ThAnk you.

      1. You always say the nicest things, D. Thank you for encouraging all of us here. Writing what others want to read – I tend to see it as a challenge, a challenge to find something meaningful about these topics and stretching myself as a writer. Writing what we want to write, it’s always self-indulgent.

    1. I’ve done a lot on hope (can always do more) =) And the Race Around the World was 2.5 months of cultural biographies from around the world this time last year. =) Thanks, N. Have noted your input.

    1. LOLLLL. That was a lot of work. I actually had to do my hair and put my face on (and then hide behind the shades bc it was hopeless). Tennyson fell off his seat (we clipped that out). He loves it when I dance to his drumming but he’d never seen me act and lip sync. Ok. You’re a free man. You may completely ignore my blog until I post again. =)

    1. You hardly need help w/ the editing, Eileen. In fact, you don’t. =) I’m spilling my beans here (JUST FOR YOU!) but I plan to do a series on answered prayers. Thought it’d be powerful encouragement for everyone. Hope that satisfies the request…. =)

  29. Diana, you wrote in a reply to someone, “a pet topic of mine.” I laughed when I read that.
    “A pet.” That should not be in your vocabulary. Ha, ha.

    But, seriously everything you write is good. But I also like things that motivate and inspire as another commenter wrote above. I need “pep talk” from myself, on a daily basis and, it is always good to read another’s views.

    ~Yvonne x

    1. Ha ha. You like teasing me about anything pet. Hm..will keep that in mind, Yvonne. ” I need “pep talk” from myself, on a daily basis and, it is always good to read another’s views.” You’re right. We all need this. Thanks for bringing this to my attention.

      Xxxxx
      D.

  30. As the patriarch of a Korean-American family, I have always wished there was a way to tell the beautiful stories of this unique union. There is a hidden virtue of strength in the face of withering hardship and ignorance that always perseveres through adversity and challenge. There is a positive message understood in our insular way of life that could offer a beacon to those wayfarers that have lost their way. I liked your post but I didn’t dare push that button. I’ve learned to listen carefully when an American woman of Korean heritage speaks.

    1. LOL. Ok, so you’ve velcroed yourself on my radar (esp w/ that last line). =) SO. I took Randstein to be Jewish. I’d love a brief elaboration on your opening self-intro to the extent you’d be comfortable. Would you also explain insular way of life? Because that is how I’ve described Koreans. In my Race Around the World (I bolded the word RACE in the post so you can tap in for my cultural autobiography), I spoke at length (for the first time on this blog) about my experiences as a Korean-American of immigrant parents.

      “a hidden virtue of strength in the face of withering hardship and ignorance that always perseveres through adversity”

      If you didn’t catch it, what you describe is exactly what I talked about here, The Measure of a Woman:

      The Measure of a Woman

      How’d ya reach VIP reader status so fast?

      Diana

      1. Thank you for the links. I have some reading to do. I remember reading the post about the race around the world and loved it. I did check back to refresh. Randstein is German for the cobblestone pavers that cover the sidewalks and many streets. It’s a bit of a metaphor for my life. I am the home grown American while my wife is Korean. I have two daughters and two grand daughters that strongly identify with their Korean roots. My wife’s story of birth to a Yangban family that gave the country three presidents and two four-star generals is an epic story of struggle during the Korean war with the loss of her father, reduction to poverty in the war’s aftermath, and her immigration to the U.S. as a young woman for the sole purpose of paying her debt to the kindness of Americans that saved her family’s life. She paid her debt and then some by taking care of American soldiers. I was one of them. I hope those positive virtues that create such a strong drive and will to rise will someday be recognized. I know our Korean community will not wish for the light to shine on them. I suppose they are too busy working to chat about their accomplishments. That is the insular aspect of their humility. My friends that are Western husbands married to Korean women, see our wives as the foundation for everything that the family unit accomplishes. A community of Tiger Moms. (I know you said brief. I really tried)

      2. “I know our Korean community will not wish for the light to shine on them. I suppose they are too busy working to chat about their accomplishments. ” Exactly. =)

        Impressed with your intimate understanding of the culture, which indeed you should own in your shoes. You wife sounds amazing, and not just in light of her heritage. Thank you so much for leaving me this gem. Honored.

        Diana

      3. And it’s not unique. Those stories are very common which is why I’m so amazed and gobsmackingly awstruck 🙂

  31. Okay you win, I just accomplished an edit moments ago, lol. I enjoy your work, writing like life is a tug of war, putting what you see visually and what flows from your heart, is respected and should be always. 😉 Peace out.

  33. Dodged the Like button like you asked.

    Maybe if your work ethic isn’t healthy (as mentioned in another comment), spend a little less time editing and go for something perhaps easier, like a bit of photography…or more dancing videos! 😉

    Okay, so maybe not the dancing part… The dialogue posts are fun.

  34. The thing I love about fellow blogs is catching up and seeing where they are at in the moment they chose to write. The little random topics and insights they share. I think your blog is excellent. The no like button gave me s momentary ice cream headache though. Me like the like button.

    1. LOL!! Ice Cream headache!! You’re still not allowed to press – if you were on the Reader. I’m mad at those who loved me too much and overrode me.

      So sweet. Pun intended, Apple Pie and Ice Cream person, you.

    1. Love the aging with attitude. Someone just shared with me a dance vid by Yoko Ono – when she was older than I – it seems. She, too, in black – dressed skimpier LOL. I got quite a kick. I’d actually chalked up my dance vid as something I barely got away with at 42 (though Mr. Wayfarer disagreed, given how 60 is the new 50, etc) but Yoko opened my mind and vision for what’s “allowable even” of the mature and maturing. I’ve noted your feedback. Thanks for staying involved.

      Xxx
      D.

  37. I have no suggestions. I love your blog and I’m still catching up on your posts from before I found your page. I still have lots of “new” posts to get through. I love the variety of topics you offer and your sense of humour. The guest posts have been great.

  38. I have only read your blog a bit, for some reason I follow. There is a broad range of topics, those topics can all evolve and will evolve. How and when that is up to your journey with them and through them.

  39. Nup, I reckon you’ve covered everything, time to shut up shop 😉 Just kidding :). You know what I like? You. More of what you see, think, feel and do.

    1. HA! I actually grazed that thought, that I’m done here: ” time to shut up shop” LOL.

      And “You. More of what you see, think, feel and do.” This is one of the sweetest things I’ve heard here. No writer sets out hoping for this but it’s every writer’s greatest prize. Thanks, Sara.

      You’re too much.

      2. Actually, I have material through at least another 6 months. It was as I said, that the milestone seemed like a good time to open things up for assessment. =) Appreciate the good word, Sara.

        Xxxxxxxx!

  42. I believe, as you do, that what you write should be whatever inspires or moves you. That, in turn, does the same for us as readers. That’s what makes reading your work so enjoyable. So here’s my LIKE button. Consider it pushed.😊

  43. I enjoy all your posts, especially because they are timely, are relevant to people’s lives, and well written. Oft times I when I am slammed for time, I will read it and “like” it and get back to my problems. I will try to comment more. But, I “like” this one. 😀

    1. You’ve been under no obligation to do more of anything here, Max. =) I certainly appreciate the sentiments. I was a bit surprised by your dedicated support given that I don’t share your worldview. =) Which is really part of the beauty of blogging, that we can build bridges through our writing and mutual support.

  44. Personally, I like to be caught off-guard! I enjoy the variety. That said, I liked the reader’s idea of “aging with attitude.” Although, I find that aging with grace is just as important!

  45. To me, blogging should be free-form. I feel bad for those who follow me for something I wrote and may never touch upon again. I have too many other constants in life…I love whatever subject you want to write about. It’s like trying to pick a topic when meeting an old friend for drinks and sticking to that.

    1. Ha ha. Great analogy. Just that sometimes – switching gears – we enjoy reading on a topic so much we look up more info on it or grab another book along that line. =) I like your self-awareness in the blogging. Thanks for the input.

      Diana

    1. Mm. You’re right. I will probably not take up the dare. I have no need to. =) I typically don’t take on subjects that promise to be grating just so I can be grating, hoping to go viral or garner views. I can draw views in other ways and I need a compelling urge to write about it. Which I don’t have at the moment. But you have been heard. =)

      1. Hahahaha okay. I’m heard. Forgive me for my poor choice of words. It’s just that I want people to talk about it. I live in a country where being a homosexual is not only something illegal but sinister. I believe everybody should have the right to live life as he or she wishes to. I support LGBT rights.
        Im heard. That’s all I wanted.
        Love 😀

    2. This sounds rather condescending….’I dare you?’

      Your mind is probably made up; are you trying to inflame the passion of she who is way fair-er to assuage your decadence, or simply to start a fire storm?

      3. Yeah, strangers who read, may not know sarcasm.

        That said, if HW did write about your subject, it would be handled in the most judicious of ways.

  48. I have most enjoyed the posts that give me views of another’s life, whether your own or by a guest blogger. I do get a wee bit tired of the on-going Like button thing, it seems like people try to tease and bait you with this bit. Even mentioning it, gets some revved up, I don’t really understand what that is all about. But when the writing is good, whether your own or a guest’s, I am taken out of myself and time disappears as I forget Ginene and enter another’s world for a few moments, coming out refreshed, entertained, enlightened and even more curious about the fascinating lives of others and the stories they have to tell.

    1. I love this, Ginene. Oh, I really value your input. You keep motivating me to go ahead with series I’ve had in mind. =) Now I know for sure I’ll forge ahead with them. I got every word. As to the like, thanks for the honesty. I get overwhelmed (and stressed) watching my inbox spill over esp when I have a lot going on. I disabled it this time bc I didn’t tax my brain in an attempt at a sterling post (meaning, I didn’t deserve the likes). And I would really appreciate people respecting my wish on this. Thanks. =)

      Diana

      1. Oh, I completely get your end of it, what I don’t get it why some of the fans appear to enjoy getting a rise out of you. Then, I wondered if it is a form of flirting. Like, when a boy in grade school put bugs in my book. Little girls don’t generally like anyone who puts bugs in their books!

  49. Diana, I enjoy everything that you share with us. I like that you include a wide variety of topics. I like getting to know you, and meeting your readers, with their broad perspectives. Keep doin whacha been doin!

  50. What I’d like to see more of? HMMM, I ‘d like to say discussions on what it means to get older, to better interact with important people in our lives, and the like. But if I was completely honest, I’d have to say I’d like to see more nude women.
    You asked.

      1. Well, I guess I’ve noticed recently how I’ve lost touch with a lot of people who were/are very important to me.
        As for using my imagination, that’s fine, but help me out…How tall are you exactly? 😉

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