so i decided
i am more than the answer to "what's for dinner?"
the unrelenting pile of dishes
more than the name i changed at the altar,
and the ways i fail Husband
more than the boy i nursed 'til i was spent
and would give my only breath to, more
than the worry over the
mishaps that visit children
caught. i feel caught between
the rock of guilt and the hard place of time
as i push push my way through this beautiful life i don't deserve
for a chance to paint the helpless run of words
en route to errands i pop in an audio - Pooh's tales,
then settle back for the story that wants to tell in my head
and catch it on paper when i park the car
i race, i snatch and just the same watch
the minutes fall
i am more than the faith that rose from my dead life
because we are more than spirit but too, flesh and mind,
borne of the Living Word that justifies our reply
what does it say of me as Wife and Mother, my grateful honor --
but that i am happiest
(clap hand over mouth)
when my dreams find their light in the words
that come together, sometimes soldiers
in sharp line or ballerinas
in fluid form?
i realize they are never a burden, a fresh joy each time
i am the song of history and hope
(except the Greatest Women past and present have denied themselves)
i delight through the hard
hard way to get it down just so
so u can s e e the art and grace in the world that thrills me
i know the prince and the pauper are apportioned the same
hours but my time feels rationed
pl e a se, let me finish this thought, but
-- the but --
incommodius conjunction, my dissolution
i am more than the Kitchen i have loved but it needs taming
Wife and Mother, there i go to
the unrelenting pile of dishes i am
more thanI am indebted to my husband, to whom I dedicate this poem, for doing his
darnedest to leave me to my words.
210 thoughts on “st r u gg ling artist”
Amazing word placement and organization mixed with a great message
Appreciate the good word. =)
The magic moment when the words flow… It’s always special. –Curt
Lovely, Diana 🙂
Thanks, CC. Been thinking of you. I hope you’re doing better.
Wow beautiful profession of love for your husband ! Wish you love and prosperity in your relationship. With love,
Thanks for the blessing, Zee. I had to make it up to him. I’m often grumbling for more time to write. ^^
Absolutely wonderful…something like that natural flow of a stream….I am the song of history and hope
Thx for sharing the part that struck you.
Of course, You are, Diana! I stand with You in support. Regards and Love.
“Please let me finish this thought…..but…” Oh you finished it all right! And that too brilliantly. It’s this belief and drive of being “more than a woman..” that is an essential key to self-development and excellence. God made each one of us unique and important. HE gave us the will to move beyond what is apparent, to turn unturned stones, to find meaning in the quirks that make us tick. What point is life if it just spent in a single track, right?
“to turn unturned stones”
“What point is life if it just spent in a single track..”
But for the small matter of time.
I love this.
I have learned to approach “blog poetry” with caution, as too often just not worth the time it takes to read. But this…
It spoke to me. Thank you.
I appreciate the good word and am so pleased this resonated.
Diana you’ve captured the tightrope we walk as artists and women oh so well. I’d say to shine and let yourself flow, onto paper as it is for you is to love yourself, husband and son. To be every ounce of your glorious self is to show them love- to live a life expressed. Beautiful!
I just yelled at my son in frustration.
(LoL and wAAAAAhhhh *sniff sniff*)
So many things I want to do this minute and it’s a skinny tightrope of a minute!
Appreciate the humbling encouragement. Going to go kiss my little man and apologize.
And you even managed to capture the moment in writing. Well done. 😉
BAH. You’re too much.
Reblogged this on Smells Good Feels Good and commented:
She had me at “So I decided I’m more than the answer to ‘whats for dinner?'” A beautiful piece of prose that I feel like I wrote myself, so exactly does it mirror my own sentiments.
You’re a good writer person. Ha, seriously, this is great. I know what you mean (in a fatherly way). I’m exhausted all the time. No matter how much I clean, it never gets clean. I try to stay creative in my life and words and writing and videos, but it sacrifices for the life. I see photos from the past and they seem like a different life. Still we keep going. I hope.
This out of the mouth of an Emmy winner: “You’re a good writer person.” You really ARE tired. LOL. I thiNK you’re the first man to share that you relate to this!
Expresses, beautifully, what I often feel.
Yes, I would imagine you feel this way. =)
So many emotions and thought processes just reading this. Loved it. Thank you.
Thanks so much. =)
Love, love, love! 🙂
Niiice. Thanks. =)
I love your awarenesses that you’ve arrived at here – and the realization that who u are and the roles you play are not mutually exclusive from each other, but rather, essential to each, Diana. xo (I seem to be experiencing problems getting notifications of when people are posting.)
No, as I’ve said, those who follow me by email notific apparently are not getting my reposts. Hey, thanks for taking time here on this while catching your own breath. =) As to this post, it’s an ongoing st ru ggle – I think one that’ll keep me busy a good many years.
Actually, in the past that has definitely been the case. But the re is differently a glitch because I have not received notification of anyone publishing in a couple of days which is unlikely. D, it may continue to be an ongoing struggle but that you are even engaging with the question is what matters.
Oh boy, that sounds like more than a glitch. Emailed you hearty congrats over the F Press! Thx for the encouragemt. =)
Hmm… I didn’t receive that email either.. thank you!!! And I was intending to congratulate you, too. I saw Holistic Wayferer was also just FPed. xox Yay us.
Huh. I sent you another email before that one with a question.
Oh! Would still like to know about the problematic sentence. I’ll email you now. thanks for looking out for me.
The art & grace of your writing and creativity is simply amazing to witness… The struggle of the wife, the mother and the roles & dreams you pursue…we all can go along for the ride with your writing as we have dreams too. And for you to be able to let us escape and ride your words (as if we had actually written them) is special. Your husband must be smiling at this emotional & personal piece of art you have created and shared.
Ahhh Randall….giving me chills. You almost leave me without words – but the thanks. Profound thanks. “We all can go along for the ride with your writing as we have dreams too.” This is the hope of all artists, isn’t it – of visual and verbal? I love that this piece spoke to you through the roles (and gender) we don’t have in common. You do your share of transporting us to places outside and inside our dreams, R.
Take care Diana ~ and keep the charm flowing in your writings. Cheers!
If we’re not struggling and juggling, we’re not living. But you: you are wise enough to parse that problem and say, boldly as it should be, that there is more. So much more. And that *you* are so much more. Blessed be the way of the attentively and intentionally joyful!
“And that *you* are so much more.”
I think *I* am a big bag of mess LOL but it sure is sweet to feel the luv.
I promised no more laurels of lotus……….
I’ll just say………well played D.
(ps, if you ever need juggling lessons, I’m your go to guy)
*chuckle* Swallowing the kudos? I did say I didn’t mind LOL. But there isn’t much hope for me as a juggling student. The verbal cortex took all the neurons from the visuo-spatial department.
When I was reading this, I could imagine a video version of it, with slowly appearing, vibrating, and fading words and phrases, and with blurred colors and drops of rain on a glass window as the background. And with a flute playing in the beginning, and piano comes in with soft strums on guitar halfway through. I really love this ^_^ the way the words are placed and played, it’s really beautiful 🙂 thank you for sharing it!
That is seriously amazing. I have to share your comment with my husband, who himself is working on a slideshow right now. =) I really appreciate the thoughtful read and the follow. Welcome to A Holistic Journey. =)
Yes thank you very much ^^
I love this poem. I think it could be performed in spoken word. Your choice of words and the emotion they convey are powerful. I am on the empty nest side of mothering, but I have recently been working on a poem with a similar theme. The working title is: “There’s More to Me Than That”. It might change once the poem finds its way. Anyway, bravo! And a little finger snapping (the way we clap for poetry).
Ha ha ha thank you for the snap. I really appreciate the thoughtful feedback and glimpse into your own journey, Robin. All the best on that poem.
This poem resonated with me. To me, it is a poem that has to be seen (read) to be heard. Or read by its author. As I read, I thought of Robert Frost reading Robert Frost and Dylan Thomas reading Dylan Thomas. Thanks.
How kind, Judith. Such a thoughtful, giving response. Thank you for the follow and welcome to A Holistic Journey. =)
thank you, husband, for letting her scribble
=) Ha ha, sweet of you.
Sweet of you.
This is incredibly creative, outside-the-box writing. Love the voice behind the words.
Thanks. =) I’ve also been thinking ’bout recording you all a greeting so you CAN hear my voice. =)
I really appreciate the feedback. I simply wrote my heart.
I believe good writing has to be from the heart to sound and feel authentic.
Been there. Felt all this and much more in life. Don’t know you have found your way back or not but more often than not, it is not possible to go back and begin from where we left. There has to be a lot of compromise in life to the point of being crushed down as far as one’s identity is concerned. And the worst part is, no one understands.
It’s your sacrifice alone but you must not expect a reward, not even from the sapling you planted and looked after as he will forget when he grows up and leaves home to live his own life. One can/should just count one’s blessings and bless everyone esp. one’s own born. That’s part of being a woman.
Isn’t this amazing? How we hear each other across the divide of time and space? Right: we dare not count on reward beyond the joy of the labor. Your closing conviction strikes me somehow, though many have said it through the years. That’s part of being a woman. To receive, to bear, bring forth, give. Thanks for connecting, Alka.
Empowerment in it’s full glory. Power to you.
Thanks for connecting. =)
Reblogged this on quirkywritingcorner and commented:
I love this poem and how it was intriguingly written.
Glad you liked it so much. Thanks.
beautifully done – we must all find how we want to define ourselves, each of us unique & similar at the same time.
Thanks. Women seem to see themselves in the poem.
From a mans perspective, I love this blog! It shows that sometimes a mother may just need a little time out, not loving her husband or children any less, just that timeout for mummy that allows her to see how much she loves her people. It is hard journey being a loving mummy. Following you now for more adventures. Stephen
What a handsome feedback. Thank you for the considerate perspective in the reading and the follow. =) Welcome to A Holistic Journey, Stephen.
We sure are, dear. Thank you for this. We are individuals though ‘no man is an island entire of itself.’
Grass greener over there…always over there. =) We do well to count our blessings.
Oh YES! I do so understand your thinking. Your poem is a heartfelt and moving communication.
Glad this resonated with you (though well, I wish it hadn’t, for your sake, ha ha). It is a constant battle against time.
Beautiful! You are an amazing poet! Merry Christmas!
Thank you so much. Merry Christmas. =)
I am sure that your husband appreciates that he has a talented partner in writing. I enjoyed reading this and like the way you set it out 🙂 🙂
Thank you so much for taking the time, David.
This is brilliant.
“as i push push my way through this beautiful life i don’t deserve
for a chance to paint the helpless run of words”
Oh but you do! Everybody does. Even a weirdo like me. So you are especially deserving.
Thank you, Fred. It helps to live in the most free nation in the world. It is hard to make art when you’re being persecuted or in fear for your life.
Absolutely. Although I haven’t really defined my art yet. I guess I won’t be able to until someone gets outraged…