147 thoughts on “losing you

  1. Beautiful and bitter-sweet and true. Sometimes I look at my oldest boy (almost 13) and can’t believe it. But sometimes, there is something in his smile that still shows me the toddler he once was. And in the evening, when he says good-night, he still is my little one. At least for a bit.

  2. He has a kind face……..

    ‘You cut yourself on my edges……….’

    No explanation needed there. Nice work D. 😉

  3. I remember the pain that nailed me when my eldest refused to hold my hand as we prayed around the dinner table. He was almost a teen, but he had finally freed himself of depending on my hand for patience to sit still through the prayers. Today he is my most ardent supporter.

  4. Incredibly powerful poem. Every mother out there should read this–so good it is. It was even better when I read it the second time!

    Thank you so much for sharing. 🙂

  5. I am not a mother, so I can’t say I feel it like a mother would, but I see this with my baby sister, she’s like a daughter to me, in fact my boyfriend and I call her our first child. In truth, she will always remain that way to me, my ‘baby’ sister, my first child, even when she fully becomes a grown woman, great in her own path and with kids of her own because one of her big dreams is having kids she can play dress up with.

  6. Wow, I love this Diana. ‘I’ve been in every page of your history’, the play on mother and other, ‘I come with a whole life I lived before you’ – so many powerful words and phrases here and when he’s old enough, I’m sure he’ll appreciate the strength, sass and love that are in this poem.

    • I have to say I’m so pleased to feel your pleasure and appreciation of this one, Andrea. Sassy was my nickname in middle school so I’m glad that’s the word that came to mind. =)

      Xxxx
      D.

  7. This piece…as beautiful as the son you wrote it for, D. Just lovely…sunrise, sunset.

    And, no matter how hard we try to smooth out those edges, they will cut themselves, and you will be forgiven.

    • In the round table discussion on happiness and relationships I referred to earlier in the yr (including the guy who wrote Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person), one of the “experts” said you never get out of love alive. This is true in parenting as well, and on both sides of the fence.

      This unworthy woman is grateful for the witness and even more, the absolution, V.

  8. Gorgeous. Wait, let me say it again. Gorgeous! And I rarely use exclamation marks:). Our job is to make them strong enough to leave us. And yet, while they are becoming so–they hold onto our strength. It is such a hard balance on both ends. Thank you for putting some magic and beauty into it for us.

    • I’m not sure which one I am more honored by – the repeat commendation or the exclamation!

      We are first their rock
      and then their stepping stone.

      Thank you so much for walking alongside, K.

    • My turn to fumble, JC. I am so happy to hear that, as it was my hope that people wouldn’t read this simply as one mother’s story but also think of their child, and their mother. Thank you so much for letting me know.

      Xxxxx

  9. Make the most of the remaining time he will be under your care. They do grow up too quickly. However you will have a host of happy memories to recall when he marries and moves away . He will always cherish the moments you spent with him as he grew to manhood.

  10. The young ones are never truly lost. They’re on an adventure us adults can’t accompany them because we’ve been there ourselves and can only return during our next incarnation.

    See you then!

  11. Time flies faster in the 21st century. Days flicker like fireflies. I see kids born the other day graduating and I try not to think of where the time went, or how old I have become.

  12. This is so special. And warm. As a parent I often have found myself lamenting the truth about blinking and finding all is going by so rapidly. And then, there are times when the warmth grows even more mellow and sweet if you extend the blink, close your eyes, and savor.

  13. My daughter-in-law is reeling from her eighteen year old’s departure to college. He is her first child and my first grandchild. I can see her and my grandson living out your poem from different points of view. Thanks for your heart-piercing and beautiful poem.

    • I can’t imagine what that day will be like for me. I want to express condolences to your
      D-i-L =) but of course it is a good and necessary thing for him to have set out to forge his own way. Thank you for the generous sentiments.

  14. Our kids are well in to adulthood, now, D, in their 40s. And yet they keep in touch and show their love. And they don’t hesitate calling for a good mom talk when they hurt. They had to establish who they were, they suffered teenage angst, they’ve made the good and bad decisions we all do. But the best thing we ever did was to let them run free and be supportive when support was needed. –Curt

    • I went on your page to see if you put it out bc this got crazy FB views. I didn’t see it but I am a clunk on FB and anything outside this blog. Oh my, too independent at hiS age?? My condolences….lol. He must have a lot of your mom in him. =) Time for another one (and more heartache). *kiss*

  15. You are are a special soul, Diana, and are talented beyond belief. Though I am not a mother, you made me feel, and for a brief moment made me understand the connection between a mother and her child. Bravo. ❤️

  16. Beautiful poem! We never truly “have” our children; they are borrowed to us for loving, caring constant gardening till they bloom and fly on their on wings.

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  19. Boom – between the eyes and through the solar plexus. This filled me up and made me look back at how I viewed my mother then and now and you strike so many moments. This truly made me smile and your writing is breathtaking. Thank you for this morning smile.

    • Ha ha ha. Sounds like a mother to me. Some moms send magic bowls of soup sliding down the line when their kids are hungry. =) (I agree. We need to stop, and let ’em feed themselves.)

  20. Beautiful words, so eloquent and authentic, a heart-felt poem. Although I do not have children I can empathise with your feelings. It must be hard to let go, but any parent’s duty is to educate for autonomy. You are indeed teaching your child to fly the nest. I am sure you are doing the right thing and for that the last two lines of the poem could not better expressed, they make perfect sense.

My Two Gold Cents in the Holistic Treasury

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