The Woman You Praised

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Cleopatra in Wiki

Cleopatra in Wiki

The one thing she wasn’t known for was a beautiful face but people – men in particular – were arrested by her presence, charisma, eloquence, and intellect. Cleopatra was captivating with a beauty only she could claim.

What is the greatest compliment you have received as a woman or paid one?

Though I have never known myself to be particularly attractive, in years past I’ve admittedly found the attention of men flattering. I don’t see that it wouldn’t be. It’s a confession that doesn’t sound politically correct against the backdrop of the many popular posts defending inner beauty and self-acceptance. I was startled by the realization this week that you also have all made me feel very beautiful. While male bloggers may enjoy affection or encouragement from their readers, they are not going to say we made them feel so lovely. Julius Caesar attracted people with the same qualities Cleopatra boasted but he wasn’t thought to be bewitching. What I’m getting at is that while the attributes that draw our admiration for both sexes will often reflect things deeper than skin, we praise men and women differently. We’ll choose language that polarizes gender. Certainly the very point of feminist contention, but I’d like you to think about – without worry over judgment – the most flattering or ennobling praise you’ve received not only as a person but as a woman. Or given to a woman, whether it’s something that affirms, emboldens, or redefines her femininity. We had fun with the posts where I swore I was a man. My husband would love it if I were softer. If I had to choose, I would rather have respect than love. Give me brains over beauty any day – a vote for myself and the female race. And more than traits, virtues like wisdom and integrity obviously merit recognition and make us really lovely. But even I can’t help but feel more womanly, and therefore more in touch with myself as a person, when I feel not only appreciated or liked but beautiful inside and out.

207 thoughts on “The Woman You Praised”

    • Ha ha ha. Choose!! But you must choose!!!

      “Ultimately brains are going to push us a lot further!”

      I badly want to say amen but that was one point I was making in defense of beauty: we can have both. And we can feel the fuller extent of our womanhood in embracing both. Ok, I just ripped open Pandora’s Box… 😛

      Reply

      • No, I completely agree and I don’t think that feminism needs to draw such clearly defined lines. The thing is, beauty is subjective, and, particularly for a woman, there are always things they can do to make themselves more attractive, and I don’t even mean plastic surgery. They can work on their figures, their hair, make an interesting ‘look’ for themselves. But no brains, is just no brains!

      • I nodded as I read along….uh huh, yep, we can always do something w/ the hair…”But no brains, is just no brains!”

        LOL!!! (Hey, they can try to read more.)

  2. I’m going to tread dangerous water and say that I prefer women who express both beautiful inner and outer qualities. And certainly I have female friends whose inner qualities shine so brightly that their appearances don’t matter. For me, too much mental expression can be a turn off (not intelligence, but too much focus on mind and knowledge). I prefer to connect and spend time with men and women who express from a deeper place of heart and spirit. 🙂

    Reply

    • Oh, these dangerous waters. =) You stated your preferences very well, Brad. I have to add that because we are not all endowed physically in the likeness of models and TV stars, it is more a matter of embracing our potential to be attractive if we took a bit of self-respecting care (preaching to myself here). But even more so, we are physically beautiful also in part for how we bear and present ourselves – which of course comes from that deeper place. Thanks.

      Reply

  3. I think we can present as beautiful on the outside when that is how we feel.. Seriously, I can meet someone who at first I will think is good looking but once they open their mouth and present as not nice people their looks fade but that is just my thought. When we get more mature (not older we never get older lol) that beauty fades anyhow so you want to hope people like or care about you for you and not how you look.

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  6. The greatest compliment that comes to my mind… I was recently told by a precious follower… how beautiful I was! She has never seen or met me. My mouth fell open in awe and shock.

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  7. Ah, my favorite compliment is when my husband tells me I’m the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen – despite 30+ years of marriage, significant weight gain, and gray hair. And he says it with a look in his eyes that tells me he truly means it. Nothing makes me feel loved more than that.

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  8. I have no idea why, but it brings me more delight to have someone laugh at a joke or be told that I’m funny than actually be praised for physical beauty. Obviously, this has declined over the years as I’ve lost my baby fat and gained more wrinkles. As a disillusioned youth, I placed too much priority on physical beauty rather than presence. What is beauty without presence, anyway?

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    • Probably because looks are something we have no control over (apart from the tweaking we can do with the generous help of make-up and the like) but with humor, you can make an impact in some way. Looks are something we are given but there are things we can DO to please others.

      Reply

  9. I have been thinking about this since our chat the other day and I think that when someone complements my kids it makes me feel the most beautiful. Weird thing for me to say, actually because I very much against my ever having children for years and years.

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    • Interesting. Maybe they are all the more precious to you for your earlier resistance. You bring up something big, how we also might project ourselves and our hopes onto our kids. A whole post right there. =)

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  10. My favorite compliment from someone who I spoke with for a short while, but hadn’t met before, is: Thank you for being so reasonable. Man, that person had no idea how important being reasonable and wanting others to be reasonable is to me.

    My favorite compliment from a friend was when I was telling my best friend about how I was feeling really discouraged about other relationships and having to draw boundaries, and he related, saying: I’ve had to write off getting close to a thousand different people because of an ignored and ever widening gap, and it hurts.. but I ended up finding you, and your friendship is way more valuable to me than those thousand people, so it was worth it.

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    • “Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person; having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but to pour them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping and then, with the breath of kindness, blow the rest away.”
      ~George Eliot ~

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  11. I was once told by a man that I wasn’t the most beautiful woman he’d ever met but that there was something about me. I thought it was a nice compliment and honest!

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  13. For much of my life I obsessed about outward beauty, yet no matter how many men complimented me it never felt quite enough. I thought maybe I needed them to compliment my intelligence as well. Never enough.

    I realized pride stood in the way of self-acceptance and the compliments others tried to give me. No amount of compliments ever take the place of that sudden realization that spending time making beauty is way more ennobling than trying to be the beautiful thing.

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  14. I once told a woman who I was seeing: “You’re way too smart to be superstitious.” (She was joking around about Friday the 13th I think). And she was. She was a lawyer and a brilliant artist. She told me “that might be the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.”
    One thing I’m grateful for is that I’ve lived long enough to be dragged kicking and screaming into a semblence of maturity. I now know how much more important qualities of creativity, critical thinking, a desire to learn, read, discuss, debate, and most of all, having a sharp sense of humour, are. I wasted a lot of time on very pretty girls who, by the end of the short relationship, I was practically screaming “How can you be so stupid on purpose.” To be so ignorant you would have to actively persue not learning.
    It is possible to have all the desireable qualities I listed and be beautiful but this is a rare occurance. And that is why I think of my wife as a unicorn.

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    • Oh, I forgot the question mark after my inquiry on the nature of the stupid, after the word “purpose” (who’s stupid now John?). Aaaaaand, great post. Pretty and smart; another unicorn.

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      • You misspelled, too. Ha ha ha. But this post isn’t about perfection so I let it pass right through my brain and disappear around the corner. My husband might think me more a frisky dog than a unicorn but there you go…see making me feel all nice and lovely. LoL. Thx.

    • ““How can you be so stupid on purpose.” This is so funny it’s sad (and scary)…that they leave you convinced they pursued not learning. Gee wiz, to think there really are women like this.

      “I’ve lived long enough to be dragged kicking and screaming into a semblence of maturity.”

      Why does it take you men so many years to reach this semblance of maturity?? =)

      So you more than got away with talking about girls you’ve dated. You gotta show your comment to the unicorn.

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      • Why does it take so much longer to reach maturity? That is a question that has many answers. Many, many, answers. And one I’d need time to think about. A big part of my problem was neglect that led to an arrested development and so I was late bloomer for practically every stage of life. But I know men who have lived there whole lives with little or no expectations. Living a solipsistic existence has become instictual.
        Oh, I always tell my wife I kissed a few frogs before I found my princess. Or unicorn.

      • “That is a question that has many answers. Many, many, answers. And one I’d need time to think about.” Perhaps a post for you.. =) (It can be funny and serious.)

        “A big part of my problem was neglect” Yes, I can see that, John.

        “But I know men who have lived there whole lives with little or no expectations”
        Wow. Now there’s something to consider. Nah, maybe it’s too pathetic to think about lol.

        “Living a solipsistic…” All right. So you redeemed yourself for all those blips in the first comment, Mr. Dictionary.

  15. When you do not grow up with the idea that you are physically beautiful, you develop so many other characteristics to make you feel worthy. These are the same things that serve you much longer in life…intelligence, kindness, sense of humor, etc. With all that comes an unexpected beauty that reflects in your face, your smile, your relationships. There is benefit in not “peaking” too early. ☺ Van

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    • I can relate in that I certainly didn’t grow up with the notion, Van. It can get tricky if we place our value in those other qualities we cultivate, but Very, very well said. *pocketing your two cents*

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  16. “I would rather have respect than love.”

    I find it difficult to believe that a man can love a woman romantically if he does not respect her. I might be attracted to a dumb blonde but I could never love her. I think it’s different for a woman. I have known a number of women who have loved men who they were determined to save from themselves.

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    • Interesting, MG. “I find it difficult to believe that a man can love a woman romantically if he does not respect her.” You probably feel this way for the self-respect you have. I have known men who didn’t take easily even to the woman they loved and respected because they were insecure. In small ways, they had to keep her down so they wouldn’t feel threatened by her.

      “women who have loved men who they were determined to save from themselves.” A shame so many men need saving from themselves. =)

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  17. Fascinating thing to ponder. Had a fair amount of men tell me I was beautiful, but, in the end, they never stayed. I was left feeling “beautiful” was just an empty word so they could have their way with me and then go. Then, one told me I had a beautiful SOUL as well as my face. And he didn’t leave. That by far means more to me than a shallow turn of phrase too often misused.

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  19. Hey D:

    Thoughtful inquiry. The most meaningful compliments received, even if they weren’t realized in the moment, were from my husband, who equally compliments my inner and outer qualities, boosting me up, up, up.

    But, if you don’t believe in yourself, compliments will fall on deaf ears and consciousness. So, belief in self tempered with humility and sensitivity to others, is necessary in order for compliments to be appreciated and useful. If someone tells you you are smart, and skilled at say minute details, perhaps vocation (in whatever form) may be redirected, impacting others as well as self. It is fascinating how interaction impacts lives, but only with confidence and engagement (present moment.)

    Enjoy your Mother’s Day.

    Love,
    E

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    • “if you don’t believe in yourself, compliments will fall on deaf ears and consciousness.” You agree with Adrienne M. Great example, E. Love how you wrap it. That man of yours…can we clone him???

      Xxxx

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  20. Well, well young lady. I’ve never received a compliment that made me feel beautiful. But I relished compliments that made me feel appreciated and happy. Compliments such as you are such a good person, you have a way with animals, you are such a good nurse-, you are a good mother- those validated me as a woman and worthy to strive for better.

    Now about you, Diana. I feel you have it all. You are a great mother, you have a husband that’s a good provider that enables you to stay at home and raise your son. You are super smart and a talented pianist, a great writer, and you are quite attractive from what I see in your photo. That could be everyone woman’s dream or almost all. Enjoying compliments is a normal thing and if you had written otherwise I’d think there must be something wrong in the ego department.

    So, I’m not sure if I’ve answered your question/s but you are someone that I like and I’ve no idea why. Or, just maybe I do and that is for you to figure out. I’ll never know you but I feel I know you. More or less. 🙂 Please excuse the face, I know it’s considered bad writing. I personally don’t like LOL, BTW and, so on and I’ve no idea why. Oh and now I’ve written “I’ve no idea why” twice in on paragraph. 🙂 ~yvonne

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    • I am LAUGHING. (If you don’t like LOL don’t use it.) Those are wonderful compliments you’ve heard, Yvonne, and I am really glad you expanded us beyond the subject of beauty which is what I was striving for in the post. Your conscientious care for those who are helpless is quite a BEAUTIFUL (there you go!) attribute. Where in the world would we be without people like you?! As for the compliments you graced me with, I wish you hadn’t but all I can say is thank you so very much. That is the wonder of blogging. We will not meet but we already have, in the places that count. You know how much I’ve valued your loving support.

      D.

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  23. Beautiful read. ” I had to choose, I would rather have respect than love. Give me brains over beauty any day” Love is such a wonderful thing, but like you, I would much rather have respect and brains…some forms of love and beauty are all about self-centerdness.

    I have to agree with what Yvonne said above about you having it all – you seem to juggle life so well and you come across as someone who stands her own ground no matter what others say. And that is a compliment 🙂

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  24. The best compliment I ever was able to pull off involved me not saying anything. Tiger Mom and I decided to go to the Korean Association New Years celebration and my instructions were to wear my Tux. When Tiger Mom came out and asked me if she looked okay, I was dumbstruck at how good she looked. I mumbled incoherently and stared. I tied my bow tie crooked. She looked over her shoulder and replied, “That good, huh?” For one night, we were a couple of good lookin’ kids.

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    • That would’ve been one rendition. History has scratched its head, barely successful in its attempt to piece together how she looked and acted. Shakespeare and Hollywood had to seek the aid of their imagination – and those guys will always sexualize things. That was a long disclaimer but yes, she likely had sexual appeal given the men she had zinged, Roman leaders of the highest political caliber. Thanks, D. =)

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  26. I never gained much attention from men – I had a female friend who was taller, more confident who led from the front, while I scuttled at the rear. Now (at the age of 46) I probably have more self confidence, would be more likely to lead from the front and am too old for anyone to find interesting physically. But I also don’t seek it. I’m happy not to have male attention.
    But I do blog, I do write, I’m very much focussed on becoming published and making a carrer from what spews from my brain.
    Your life can be easier, you are more likely to have regular employment if you are seen as attractive in some way – but I’d choose brains. People judge me on my writing, what my brain and fingers can conjure between them, and though that’s nerve-wracking, it’s also wonderful.
    I’m biased, being the invisible woman 🙂

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  28. A girlfriend once said to me ‘you just get better and better’. That’s the best compliment I’ve received. I said to someone that her voice was a real comfort to me and meant it. I think that’s a good one. I would feel pleased to hear that. Unless maybe I was a emergency services worker and the person saying it was trapped under some rubble or something. It wouldn’t be such a big deal then.

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    • I’ve actually had compliments on my voice along those lines. =) Yes, that is pleasing. Although I’d rather be praised for something I’ve created or achieved, not what I was born with.

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      • I meant it as in her authorial voice. Not sure why I gave the example of the person trapped under rubble. : )

      • That’s nice you’ve had compliments on your actual voice btw. Lovely no doubt!

  29. Knowing my luck, the best compliment I ever paid a woman was probably meant to be an insult. I’m curious why people want brains versus beauty so much when its confidence that gets one more attractive results. beauty for me came only with disease that saw me lose and keep off 50 pounds by average over high school’s time yet in that ten years factual romantic achievements sa the obvious, while I get far more compliments and or fatuous flattery, I do not actually obtain any better results – so how I display confidence perhaps has not altered. I am not without brain power so now possessed of beauty too according to stereotypical expectations of beauty I might come across this opinion of experience honestly. I don’t mean brain power to equate to me following proper language mechanics or writing rules mind…just that I had a choice how I wished to proceed. to me the question which is better brains or beauty denies both in a way because confidence transcends by attracting either to a soul and will take a person further than either combined.

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  30. I’ve always been attracted to strong and smart women, but I see no trade off between brain and beauty – they often go together. As far as feminism goes, I think of equal treatment , equal respect, equal pay, etc. Gender should be ignored for jobs, positions, power structures and economic and political clout – there should be full equality. That being said, men and women ARE different and I’m one of those old fashioned people who say vive la difference!

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  31. Hmmm… this was a hard question, but I feel like it shouldn’t be. I think the best compliments were the ones unsaid. Where others shared their struggles and victories with me and sought my advice. That sounds like I emphasize the mind, but I believe it is the beauty of encouragement!

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  32. Hmmm. I have never been a woman, Di, so it is a bit hard to talk of my greatest compliment as a woman.
    However, the laws os attraction are strange. It is a combination of looks (yes… and, I am not talking of the Cindy Crawford type), personality and brains and kindness that is really attractive. Something of the mental and emotional connect…

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  34. I find most women attractive, as long as they take care of themselves, but what I really find magnetic is intelligence coupled with independence. Intelligent conversation, well thought out opinion, tastefully sleazy–I’m hooked.

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  35. Best compliment? “I was up in the middle of the night feeling so much anxiety and fear. I started reading your meditations and they made me feel so much better I could sleep.”

    Curious topic. As a kid adults and my family found me pretty, but my peers most definitely did not. I spent teen years a little overweight and found myself cruelly taunted and beat up. I don’t think I grew into my looks until my late twenties. By today’s standards I am considered quite attractive, visually and even more, charismatic in personality, but I wonder what is it that I really grew into? What is it they actually see? Is it my natural charisma that attracts or something else? Is it really a facade that has actually changed, which by photographs would say not? Or has my spirit grown over the years and shines outward from the same cliff face with a different light that people are truly responding to. Like ships to a light house. For years, even though outwardly things had changed, I still had to struggle with the idea that I was the pudgy, ugly duckling from grade school. People’s perceptions of my looks hadn’t changed mine. Given the wildly different reactions to my appearance I also found it difficult to rely on that as a source of personal value. Some of that has certainly been good for me, some not. My ex-husband thought my childhood abuse was awful and I won’t deny it was difficult, but it provided me an interesting perspective over the years on what is truly beautiful. I’m like any woman, I love being complimented. At first, because I needed the compliments to shore up a low self-esteem. Now, I think I appreciate them, because I’ve evolved enough to understand what they are really seeing. My inner light has transformed the perception of my outer appearance. So the compliment is maybe more about the painter than the painter’s masterpiece, though we are looking at the painting. That experience of your own beauty is something the current standards of what is beautiful can never touch or change.

    Beauty is powerful, however we experience it. We feel good in the presence of beauty and allowing beauty’s many forms to come in, I think, actually transforms us.

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    • As a writer, I have to say that is one awesome compliment. =) What interesting reflection on perception and the processing of others’ perception, N. I believe it: you have a strong inner light. All the more remarkable given your difficult childhood. I really appreciate your closing observation on how beauty transforms us. A powerful truth. Thanks for sharing.

      D.

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  36. What a thought-provoking question…and answers! Beauty is surely in the eye of the beholder. My father comes to mind for the greatest…”you can do anything.” Maybe that was not a compliment, but it has sure stayed with me and been more important than looks.

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  37. I too share that love/hate relationship to beauty in that I hate to think that I put such value on being complimented on it but I truly do feel elated when someone does. I struggled a lot with self esteem issues when I was younger so I know that plays a role. I hope, like the commenter above me states, that I now appreciate more that my inner qualities are shining outward and that is what people are seeing. Part of me just enjoys the vanity of being called hot though. 😉

    The best compliment I’ve received was from a man of about 100 who was suffering from dementia, and I’m sure severe eye site problems, called me beautiful. I really think he just appreciated me talking to him as an adult human and honoring his life experience and to him that was beautiful.

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    • “Part of me just enjoys the vanity of being called hot though.” LOL!! Let’s keep it real, girl. And that really was beautiful of you to have done that for him, T. What a gift. I imagine people didn’t readily take the time to honor him and what he had to share let alone notice him. The God of the universe takes His time with us.

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  38. My favourite compliment was from a colleague, not an admirer, that I was like a labyrinth, because just when you think you know me, there’s always something more to discover. So, I guess my mind is more important to me than being complimented on my appearance!

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  39. This is an interesting blog. It made me reflect on what attracted me to my wife. I would say it was a multifaceted attraction. She was a migrant daughter fighting her way for acceptance in her new culture and I watched and nodded with approval for she had pride and confidence in herself. She was very intelligent and had substance to her life style. She was pretty but didn’t use it as a weapon, and I later found she gave the best of chefs a run for their money with her cooking. Superwoman! At least to me. lol. I told her all of those things I believed about her over time, but found that was not sufficient. Being a man it took me a long time to figure out what she wanted to experience from me. She wanted to be wanted and that needed to be said over and over which is something a man is not wired into. A man thinks that once he’s committed himself to saying this once that should be the constant reference point between them. But it’s not. It has to be communicated over and over again through the years and no matter how much said it will never be enough. lol

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    • We never tire of this men and women thing. Prolly bc we still can’t figure it out. =)

      “She wanted to be wanted and that needed to be said over and over which is something a man is not wired into. A man thinks that once he’s committed himself to saying this once that should be the constant reference point between them.” Hmm. Something about the right words… =) Thanks for sharing, Ian. Very neat.

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  40. That initial attraction is so much about outward beauty, but I think one of the great things about appreciating the beauty inside is that once you see and experience it, it becomes easier to see ~ and how easily such inwards beauty/intelligence can outshine any outward beauty. Still, the sight of a beautiful lady does take my breath away ~ sigh… Nice avatar photo by the way 🙂

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    • “the great things about appreciating the beauty inside is that once you see and experience it, it becomes easier to see”
      Lovely, Randy. And yes, I would think that sensitive eye of yours would notice fair women…both as an artist and as a man. =) It’s funny. I was sharing w/ Mabel my honest dissatisfaction with my avatar (please don’t say any more. I appreciate the compliment). We are our worst critic. 😛

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  41. Outward beauty is interesting because it’s so fleeting. However, there are days when I’ve wished I was more beautiful on the outside. I would love sometimes to understand what it feels like to have men swoon over me just because I walked by them. Especially, when you have female friends who affect men in that way. But ultimately, I take the inside beauty because outside beauty is only for a season and then it’s gone and what’s left is what kind of character you’ve developed over the short time we are here on earth. And the last statement you made in your last comment is very profound for me, I am my own worst critic to be sure!!!

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    • Thanks for the honest share as always, S. You said it for all of us, I think. The yrs go so fast and I have read of and personally known of women scrambling in panic as youth left them. Glad you’re around. Your site had expired, last time I chked.

      Happy Momma’s Day!
      Xxx

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  43. This sounds familiar. I wrote a post (you read it Diana) in which I grieve my pre-baby body for about 10 minutes. I mentioned a connection between heavy women and humour – that’s me now. When I was thin, I was very serious (bipolar depression doesn’t help that).

    Point is – to be able to make someone laugh is a true gift. I love funny people; have always admired them. I must say sometimes I’m pretty good at making people laugh. When people tell me I’m funny or I made them laugh out loud – I’m ecstatic.

    My magnetism now comes from humour and creativity. If people compliment me or give me praise on either I feel elated.

    I used to be praised for looks and I miss it sometimes but my focus has shifted.

    Superficially the highest praise for me would come from a stranger applauding me for my brilliance in something or other; but really, the praise that matters the most comes from my family – kids and husband. When my 5 yr old tells me he likes the way I fixed my hair or my 7 yr old tells me how much he enjoyed the “Indian chicken” dish I prepared, my bucket is full.

    I’m pretty antisocial anyway. It’s my family, a handful of close friends and blogging community that I interact with regularly.

    Excellent question. Difficult to give a concise response. There are so many variables and flavours to this question.

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    • Well, you’re one of the funniest people I’ve met on WPress. And this introvert has somehow come to know a lot of people on WP. So the question is wHy you enjoy this of all compliments.

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      • Mil gracias Diana :)) Well, good question: why do I enjoy this particular kind of compliment? I think it’s because I know that it’s something “natural”, a flow that happens when I’m communicating with someone and it’s not just a one-time deal. There’s an unlimited supply. It feels like magic to have this kind of interaction in the first place and then to have someone actually say “You’re so funny” or whatever, it’s like the cherry on top. And the key word is validation. I may “know” I’m making people laugh or that my creativity has touched someone but when that person acknowledges it – it’s VALIDATION.
        Validation is really important. To “know” how someone feels, because of their body language is one thing but to be told is a real gift. And not fishing for compliments, because that’s annoying but without being asked and someone just gives it to you – that kind of praise – it’s very satisfying.

      • Love this. I don’t know who would disagree. You’re right: I don’t have much patience for people who fish for comps but yes, there is a place for validation. We all need – and enjoy – it. We should, if it’s genuine, as we would any sincere gift. You hopped aboard the Holistic Train a bit later than others so you won’t know that it was only in my second year (still pretty current) that I gave myself permission to laugh with you guys. It now seems funny (ha, get it?)…but when I was a little less sure of myself as a blogger, I kept a bit of a personal distance. Figured I had better to offer than ME. Than my person. My history, family. Turned out to be a whole other story. And I was reminded that laughter builds community bc it builds friendship bc it brings down walls.

        Xxxx
        D.

      • Yes. Yes. and Yes!! I’m so glad I met you when I did then, because your willingness to allow us into your life is admirable, educational, and quite entertaining!
        I agree 100%: “Laughter builds community bc it builds friendship bc it brings down walls.”

        Besos y abrazos xoxo

      • And…I knew you were serious about your request for post suggestions so that’s why I gave you so many. I’m thrilled that you chose some of my suggestions – not surprised – because I know you sincerely appreciated my curiosity 🙂

  44. I think it’s all the negative charge the culture places around physical beauty that can make it problematic. Beauty in itself- what’s not to appreciate and embrace about it. Just as much a part of our insides as it is our outsides. Cheers to you, D- clearly abundant in beauty on the inside and out with brains and personality to boot.

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  45. Hard to separate — physical beauty from spirit, integrity, wisdom. We are such physical beings. Luckily, most of us are physically flawed, and must rely on our brains to be ‘seen.’ This becomes more and more true as we age, which in the end, becomes a freedom. Cheers —

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  47. I’m going to echo Victo above – from the male side – and say that complimenting a woman about her children brings a kind of look to her face that is different in kind than any other: both pride and humility in a blush!

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  49. Hmmm… “I have in years past found the attention of men flattering. I don’t see that it wouldn’t be. It’s a confession that doesn’t sound politically correct against the backdrop of the many popular posts defending inner beauty and self-acceptance.”

    Perhaps these posts have become popular because outer beauty is shoved in our faces day in, day out? But I think that sometimes we go to extremes with this inner beauty thing!

    Love ‘desires’ the object of its affection. Romantic love makes desire take another connotation. If we are created to be loved, then we are created to be desired. It is normal for a woman to want to be desired for her beauty- no shame there. I know I want to… the ‘man’ had better not praise me for my brains alone 🙂

    I digress. The call out for this post was …
    Compliments on my physical traits don’t mean that much to me maybe because I receive them regularly. Still the other day a sales girl at checkout, she may have been 20 or 21, looked up at me and said, “Wow, you’re very beautiful.” And she went on to ask me about my hair. The genuineness of her compliment- no guile or hidden agendas, got to me. I left the shop walking taller.

    The most meaningful compliment I’ve ever received or given is: “You inspire me to do life better.”

    So much to chew and discuss in this post Diana, but I’ve dropped more than 2 cents 🙂

    Reply

    • Yes, we do take ideas to their extreme, T. I suppose that’s the meaning of “ideal”.

      “The ‘man’ had better not praise me for my brains alone :)” LOL. I didn’t grow up knowing myself to be pretty – bc I’m not – so I still don’t have those expectations (esp married now).

      That IS a wonderful compliment on how you’ve inspired others.

      *Pocketing my three gold coins*

      Thx for leaving me richer.

      Reply

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