Someone to walk with as long as you can together, to build a life with. Who sees you at your worst and has vowed to stick around, and encourages you to your best. The ring sealed the vows you made before God and Man, a sacrament of an institution bigger than your best intentions. Because the happily ever after is indeed a fairy tale and you will fail one another miserably. Boundaries in oneness, a mystery.
I grew my son inside my body; the air I breathed and the nourishment I took in were his very life. I died to give him birth. The blood, the impossible pain, all of it just the beginning of the everything I have given my child. No one loves him more.
The Life in the Womb
It’s mind-boggling: a baby is born ready to learn, with 100 billion nerve cells (my son probably has a little more because, according to my husband, the wife-who’s-gotten-dumber-since-giving-birth gave some to Tennyson when he was still inside). That many neurons – about the number of stars in the Milky Way – in just nine months. A unique person who hears, feels, grasps, kicks and stretches, hidden in the bloom of a woman. Just how do you go from nothingness to completeness?
Years ago I read somewhere that even loose affiliations serve to mark our place in the world, give us a sense of belonging. But friends are precious, aren’t they? Who am I that people would take pause from their concerns to ask how I am, to pray for me or prepare a gift? There is no pretense between friends. Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person; having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but to pour them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping and then, with the breath of kindness, blow the rest away. George Eliot
You need a relationship to be able to kiss someone but you can’t have a kiss without a relationship. Which is what made Judas’ betrayal of his Lord so twisted. Judas well could’ve just led the Romans to Him, “Here’s your man.” But Judas chose to plant the kiss, make a mockery of the years he had dined with, talked with, laughed with his Teacher and Friend.