I was going to say no, I didn’t fall off a cliff, but I – uh, actually, did. And though I lay on the rocks, wishing nothing more than to be wiped off the planet, I somehow made it back up, half-carried by angels, broken bones and all. The bruises linger, but the bones, to my wonder, have healed and the bleeding stopped. I wasn’t done for. As long as I had breath, as long as I could form my words, the world had a place for me. Like the page in this year’s California’s Best Emerging Poets anthology. And the classroom in the private university where I taught composition this semester. I had walked past that door many times early this year, wondering why a job at a homeschool center across the street wasn’t working out, when God had my name on that door, His writing on the wall. We launched Drummer Boy this Fall. (After 12 years of indentured servitude coupled with preteen warfare, I was done. I practically threw him over the school fence.) It was time for me to launch, too. I enjoyed the teaching immensely, and although the steep learning curve on school protocols, the grading platform, and all that grading made for a ride under a burst dam, I didn’t feel mentally challenged. And the impossible hunger pangs for the writing – to do it, not just teach it – didn’t help. I’d been away from the page too long.
In thinking through what the upcoming years might look like for me unchained to my son, I discovered the other night a generous, astonishing opportunity a prestigious institution had extended me on LinkedIn months ago. Two, in fact, when I failed to respond. I glossed over the solicitation before tearing up the golden ticket and tossing it not only because the timing was implausible for me as a mother, but because it was such an amazing invitation I couldn’t wrap my head around it. Then there was my age: my son’s long-awaited self-sufficiency would put me over 50. Yes, I want to build a career with the teaching and writing, but I’m supposed to start tiring after 50, not go pursuing the academic equivalent of a rhino chase on an African safari. But Awesome Friend #1 started taping up the ticket: It seems doable, she wrote. And Awesome Friend #2 pressed it in my hand : Why limit yourself? Who cares how old you will be?
Turns out, I was the only one who cared. I was the one who intended on losing steam after 50. And as the playback on my life revealed, I was the one who’d chosen the classrooms with the low ceiling as a student all these years, afraid to prove I really wasn’t smart or capable. But we won’t find our greatest self where it’s safe or comfortable. Retired Navy SEAL and seemingly superhuman athlete David Goggins says we have to suffer. He named every fear he could before running straight into each one because it was only when he had to decide if he would go on with the broken leg and bloody hands that he met with his highest self, not when he was downing a dozen doughnuts on the couch at 300 pounds. He discovered “the answers are all in the suffering.” Accustomed to them, I am very good at anguish and affliction. I am less skilled at mapping the endurance into lasting victory beyond survival. Hope is not a plan. And no matter how we might dress it with color on a vision board, hope glorified, called a dream, will remain nothing more than a pretty picture without concrete day-in, day-out goals we move toward both physically and mentally.
I am crawling out of a brutal year, one in which I faced the hardest truths about myself. And yet grace has met me in the dungeon, thrown open the doors, and held up a breathtaking life that is mine for the taking if I will shed the self-doubt and get to work. At just a few words from friends who wouldn’t let me shortchange myself, my life took on sudden definition. So I’ve drawn up a game plan that will reorder and fuel my life, the things time and stress had gotten in the way of, but that now tangibly serve a larger purpose, from organizing my house to working out again, studying, and writing. No longer am I sitting and hoping that my writing will be good enough and that the future will favor me. I’m gettin’ up to go git it. I will make my work good enough, silencing the imp on my shoulder that’s whispered all my life: but there are so many writers better than you. I shoved Goggins’ book in her face and refuse to hear her out anymore. I couldn’t care less who’s over me or in front. I will continue to write as though my life depends on it because it does. God has shown me that the works I have published and the classes I have taught are only a prelude to what He has in store if I will reach for the life that is bigger, so much bigger, than my failings and my fears.
223 thoughts on “It’s All in the Suffering”
Welcome back! It’s never too late to start living your very best life. I’m still trying to figure out what my purpose really is and I’m way over 50. I’m starting to realize that all the pain of my journey has been worth it.
Love it, Michele, the redemption you have experienced, especially. I know you’ll find your thing – or it will find you. Appreciate the encouragement.
Great post, Di! Sounds like you are well on your way to some exciting things. Glad also to hear you have good friends by you as well. 😄
I’m sorry that you had a tough year though. And sorry too that my own bandwidth wasn’t enough to be there more for you the past couple of years. I am hoping that one day we’ll have a chance to sit down in person to talk and stuff.
Hope you had a great Christmas and Happy New Year too!
On Sat, Dec 28, 2019, 12:12 PM A Holistic Journey wrote:
> Holistic Wayfarer posted: ” I was going to say no, I didn’t fall off a > cliff, but actually, I did. And though I lay on the rocks, wishing nothing > more than to be wiped off the planet, I somehow made it back up, > half-carried by angels, broken bones and all. The bruises linger, bu” >
Thought of you just today, dear friend. I appreciate every word, and hope you are getting enough rest. My love to the family.
This is inspiring writing. I loved reading every bit of it this time, and I “happened” by. I will return. Thank you so much for telling us like it is. I wish the best for you.
Always a treat to hear from you, R. I realize you’ve been with me a long time. Thank you so much for the good word. My best wishes for the new year.
Thank you . I hope your year goes brighter.
Woo hoo!! Bigger and better–Diana is back! Silence that imp and flick her off your shoulder–she doesn’t know who she is messing with. So good to see you again!
She’s deep in the book. Between me and Goggins, she doesn’t stand a chance. Keep snapping them happy pix. Wish you great things in the coming year.
You have been away way too long. Let’s be scared together. Fear is good for writing. Welcome back. You’ve been missed.
LOL. Scared together it is! I won’t be able to post too much if I plan to stay on track this side of the screen, but I’ll take the huddle. Over there by the fire with the hot chocolate will be perfect.
I’m ok with every now and then, and lots of chocolate in between.
I like it. Bravo!😊
So nice to hear from you. You got straight to the point. =)
Welcome back dear friend. And thank God for friends who see you clearly and know how to light a fire under you❤️
Ah, Vanessa. I hope you and the family have been well. Thank you for taking a moment with the faithful encouragement. Happy new year, friend.
For anyone who needs to just “do it” this piece can definitely serve as encouragement to just “do it.” This is the stuff from which real New Years resolutions come. Thanks for writing it.
Why New Yr’s resolutions are so popular is something to think about, the way it reveals the human tendency toward the path of resistance (which has us renewing our resolve away from it year after year). Just one foot in front of the other.
And what if you are 80 and still not finished. The older I get the more I tend to think of my unfinished works.
As long as we have breath…
You have my heart smiling! Great to see you back and I am so sorry about the brutal year but love the grace you found to get back up!! Wishing the best for you! Pain can make us bitter or better, in your case it looks like the better is winning! 🙂
No way will I give way to the bitter, let it set me back or control me. I have to drop such baggage to be able to grasp the better (and the best). Only so much I can hold. =)
Great hearing from you. Hope it’s a wonderful year-end.
Thanks and here’s to a wonderful 2020!! A year of new beginnings! ❤ ❤
Hear, hear! Make it gold.
I love that you’re gettin’ up to go git it. Fabulous attitude. I’m cheering you on!
Thank you so much, Priscilla. I’ll take it. Life is so short, I’ll take all the support I find, and give back all I can.
May you go from strength to strength.
Happy new year.
And I appreciate the follow. =)
I don’t care what others think or say anymore. I don’t say that as a New Yorker, trained to feel that way, but because only what God thinks matters, so I write for HIm. Since the publishing of my book, I have received two kinds of responses. You write better than me. One, I write too deep, two, that was great. I did ask a friend one time, “was it too complicated?” He replied, no, not too complicated, too convicting.” It is what it is if I hear “well done good and faithful servant,” which will be more than enough for me.
Sounds like you know what you’re doing.
What a journey you have been pulled through. They say pain is weakness leaving the body. I think my body left before weakness visited. Welcome back. God’s grip is like Velcro. – Alan
HA. Was the anticipation of pain enough for your body? =) But you’re here, and you get another round in 2020. Didn’t the Marines also say pain is only a reminder that you’re alive? I appreciate the encouragement, Alan.
Yay Diana! It’s so nice to see you back here. I’ve missed you and your writing. I’m delighted you are going to pursue your writing in a new and challenging way. I know you have the chops and the support. Write on my friend.
Hi B! I’ve missed everybody, but was glad to see you posting. I know how it feeds your spirit. Thank you for the encouragement, as always. I add it here, a feather in my cap. Wishing you a great year.
I’m honored to make your feathered cap. 👀
I’ve markered your name and glued glitter.
Much said…much reliance on your god… so I do hope he is the listening and fix it kind a seemingly worthy human being. Whatever it takes!
He very much has listened and has met every need where I have mucked things up. Wishing you all good things in 2020, J-J. Thank you for taking the time to read.
Oh my goodness this is a nice surprise to be able to read skilled and honest words. It is good to know that you will bite the bullet and get down to the nitty gritty and just write for all that is within you. By the way, fifty years old is not old. My mother said many times that fifty to sixty five years old was the prime of life. I was eight years old when my mother was fifty.
Hope all is well with you and your family and T.
I love hearing of your mother. I know that for many of us, it is a very long time before we start feeling old. Time just has a way of sneaking up on us. I appreciate the regards, and am wondering if Danny has made strides this year. I hope family & the pets are well.
Thank you, Diana,. Yes we are all ok but have health issues. My son, Danny is about the same but he seems relatively happy even though he spends about 75-80% of his time in bed. He complains of back pain just about all the time, I feel that someone can help him and he has gone to a couple of pain management MDs but all they want to d o is to inject a steriod into the area of his back that was broken. We will keep looking and maybe one day he will decide to have an excellent surgeon re-do the surgery on his back. I am doing ok and turned 83 last week. It is rather a shock to be this old but I am hoping to make it to 90 and beyond if I may be so blessed to remain healthy. Fond regards Yvonne
A friend of mine who was facing back surgery after years of suffering and trauma from a train accident (in which he was plowed) ditched the surgery and is virtually pain-free after reading the book by John Sarno, MD. The other one to look up is The Great Pain Deception by Steve O. Steve first threw Sarno’s book across the room after reading a few pages, angry that healing could be so simple, but was so desperate to avoid surgery that he picked it up again and turned his life around. Danny can always try an audiobook if he isn’t inclined to read either. Thank you for the update, Yvonne. You sound like you’re still going strong, and I think it is in part because love is good for the giver as well as the beloved.
Thank you for mentioning the book. I will obtain it and try to get the audio. Danny reads some but he has never been a great fan of reading unless the words were about wildlife, birds or hunting. But I will definitely get the book. It might not help but it surely will not hurt. Wishing you a blessed year, Diana, You have been so very kind to me and I appreciate your interest and concern.
If he does not take to one title, he will the other. You might start with The Great Pain Deception and pull up Steve’s site for Danny since testimonials are so powerful.
I could feel your emotions as you penned this post, may the rest of 2019, 2020 and beyond be amazing for you. Albeit, if you need a reminder of God’s goodness check out this post Hidden Hand
Hello Diana, if I can be so bold has to reconnect with you on the first name bases😊 You are one of the very first to encourage me and my efforts to blog. Solid advice to go out and make 5 new blog friends each day. I’m delighted to read your catch up post. Having wondered and looked for you. Although we don’t know each other personally, I think from reading your posts over the past years you are an incredible woman. Each time learning more about you. I figured your little man had hit double numbers in birthday years and to read he’s already to the teenage years! So much of what you pen hits home with my soul. The one who whispers “what makes you think you can write or who would even want to read what you write?” Going back to work myself after three years of early, I’ll have more time if I’m at home to write”. Yeah right! Thank you for your truths of write, write and head long write. Working back with my kiddos in PreK to 2nd I can hear you on the overwhelm of details of school. Welcome back! Looking forward to 2020 with my WordPress friends. Denise
Aw, what a lovely surprise, Denise. And I did not realize my blogging advice helped you get going. (You must call me by my first name if you consider me one of your WP friends. =) ) Our sharing in one other’s journey out here really is a special thing. Thoughtful of you to keep tabs and yes, the boy hits his teens in a few months (I shudder, lol), although he’s long been there already. I know being a man isn’t always a walk in the park with the responsibilities of the role, but being a woman sure is tough when you have something to offer outside your family. I relate to your journey because although part-time, the professorship was my return to the work world as an employee after 20+ years. Many of us begin as our kids do when they fly the nest. So I decided I want to build my strength and smarts for my next milestone. Remember, if no one takes it from you, seize every opportunity.
I appreciate the sweet welcome back into the fold.
Grace and peace,
I would like to concur with Denise and echo some of her points. In many ways, you have been a very thoughtful and considerate person, perhaps overly so at times as you were mocked and even silenced by your own inner demons and self-doubts, so to speak.
I sincerely wish that you will find new ways and internal fortitudes to forge new paths through the challenges and quagmires in life, and find yourself in fresh vistas and horizons from which to spread your wings and realize your visions.
This post in indeed a very moving account of your resolves and transcendence after one year of hiatus in your blogging saga.
I would like to wish you a belated Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year with my very special, animated post containing some upbeat and heartfelt messages to share with you at https://soundeagle.wordpress.com/2012/12/12/season-greetings-from-soundeagle-merry-christmas-happy-new-year-and-joyful-holiday/
There is now a new, short and witty rhyming poem of mine that I recently included in the said post.
Happy New Year to all of you and also Happy Perihelion on Sunday 5th January 2020 at around 7:48 GMT when the Earth reaches at the point on its orbit at which it is at its closest to the Sun, where the distance from the Sun’s centre to Earth’s centre will be 147,091,144 km, as oppose to Aphelion (the furthest distance from the Sun) at 12:34 GMT on Saturday 4th July 2020 when the centre of the Earth will be 152,095,295 km from the centre of the Sun.
May you have a lovely week ahead!
Looking forward to a Diana emerging from the cocoon and turning into a wonderful being in greater command of her destiny. . . . . .
Was so happy to see your blog magically appear in my inbox. Glad you are back!
Thank you, R! Keep shining. Happy new year.
Keep doing what you’re doing. Keep moving forward. Keep trying to find that space where you belong, where your happiness resides, where all that you wish for is there for you.
Will do. I return the blessing, and wish you and the family health and all things good in the coming year.
Bravo! I like to be around positive people and this blog today is full of that positive note. Sure life deals nasties on a constant basis. I remember reading a story with a title something like “How old Nell got out of the well.” The gist of the story is old Nell the horse fell into a well and the farmer couldn’t bear seeing his old friend motionless at the bottom, so without looking he began shovelling dirt into the unused dry well and worked all day at it, then the next day still not looking down. What he didn’t know was that old Nell had woken up when the first load of dirt was shovelled on top of her. She stamped it down under her feet every time a new shovel load dumped on her, Then after a couple of days the farmer was shocked to hear stamping and looking down saw the top of Nell’s head just under the rim of the well. He shovelled on but this time with joy until the noble beast made it out of the well. Is it a true story? Probably not, but it has a good lesson. Stamp those doubts and irritations under your feet and feel the freedom it brings. All the best for a happy and prosperous new year 2020. 🙂
HA, this is wonderful, Ian. Thanks so much for taking the time to share it. Stamp I shall – expecting a lot of dirt on top and under me – and will remember you when I peer over that rim. I wish you joy and strength in the new year. Keep shining.
Good to see you here. Positivity will lead the way!
I’ve missed you all. Thanks for the good word.
Onward and upward!
“joy and strength in the new year”
Love it! Yes, this is what we all need! 🙂
Best wishes Diana, for you and your family! 🙂
Was thinking of you, Aunty. Thank you for taking a moment.
Love and light,
This is a good time of the year to look back and reflect on things that has gone by the way we wanted and things that haven’t gone the way we wanted. In the process we regret for many things and cherish few things, in between lies the beauty of life and there is nothing called as the perfect way and there are ways that comes our ways and we just need to embrace with joy and equanimity, good things follow just that it plays hide and seek with us. Wishing you a great year ahead with success and happiness.
Wishing you a wonderful 2020 Happy New Year!!!
Signing Off 2019 from wondering “Makeup & Breakup.”
Thank you, NP. Fortunately, pain is something we can transform. All the best in the coming year.
Thanks. Indeed it is the perspective that we carry, nothing can be gained without pain, and good and bad go hand in hand we need to take things on the stride and strive for the best.
Thank you so much for this post! It’s so funny, because I haven’t checked my wordpress page in awhile, so I was so glad to receive your latest. I, too, have been struggling with just getting down to it and REALLY start writing again, so thank you for your inspirational message. It’s great that you have such amazing friends that encourage you that way. I have the same problem in that I’m always doubting myself, always thinking that I’m not good enough for this or that. I really needed to read this:)
So glad to know this spoke to you. I didn’t know how much of a luxury it was to have time to blog. I haven’t had a minute to spare with obligations inside and outside the new job. And now that I can catch my breath, I PLaN to do some serious writing. Let me know how it goes. Or better yet, show me. =)
Yes, time, and also to be in that right mental space- peace, quiet, etc. Hoping that I write something worth posting real soon!
It’s good to see you back, revitalised and ready to go for it after a challenging year. I hope that it all works out the way you want it to – but of course it will, because you’ll make it happen!
I was thinking of you, Andrea. Thanks for the good word. Up we go!
Much resonates with me here – and your writing! Imagining a gab with you, it’s your faith – the thread that seems to pull it all together for you. I’d like more of that but am not there. But this inspires me! Bravo you!
Ask Him to open the eyes of your heart, Tricia. That is not something we can do ourselves. Ask Him to show up – put it on Him – and He will. Faith isn’t something to pull up like bootstraps. It is a gift in the form of a person who came to us already. I can’t help but keep believing, from the visible divine handprints all over my life. I am glad to know the post spoke to you.
Onward and upward,
The best guidance I’ve received in a long time. I will extend the invitation because I have seen and envy the peace I’ve seen in believers and because- I have an inkling I cannot quite call belief. But I’m there I know there is love. ❤️
God is not someone we have to lay nail-biting hope on. The ground of His truth is rock solid. You can bank on Him. Make Him prove it. =) (It’ll also help to plug into a good church where others are doing the same.)
My nails are solid – no worries or hope for salvation- I’ve made my way fine so far. But a fascination and … envy? Of those who feel such belief. Mine is like vapor – more questions than comfort. But I love your guidance. I’ve been extending the invitation. (Btw – recovering Catholic- and adore Thomas Merton) so – quest? Interested in this spiritual journey but not all in…
Talk about adore…mine is Ravi Zacharias. He goes into the hardest parts of the world to address the toughest skeptics. He’s all over youtube. I can sit before his brilliance all day.
Actually, you are welcome to this post
my first on faith as well as suffering here.
It’s beautiful- thank you! (And happy New Year)
Great post. It’s so good to hear from you. All I know is that for every step you take, twice gold will come your way. jc
Aw, hi JC. Some of that gold will come in the form of suffering, but coal-heat-diamond, right?
Grace and peace,
Yes most certainly… jc
“. . .[W]rite as though my life depends on it because it does . . .”
Did Hemingway write this? If not, I think I’ll steal it and lay claim to it after I stop suffering.
Great insight. Great writing. Keep up the good work my young girl friend!
HA, with the green light I give you for it, you have no worries of a lawsuit for copyright infringement. =) Except I’m not sure you want to wait out the suffering. It has a way of revisiting.
Go get it gal! Diana, I recently heard or read somewhere that the original meaning of suffering meant to ‘allow’ and I take this to mean that when we allow, we accept it for what it is. And from that standpoint we move forward. All good thoughts and wishes for the newness ahead, for you and your son and family as you all move forward:)
Suffering also allows us to find our best self. I appreciate the good thoughts and wish you and yours more joy, more wisdom, more light in the coming year, Susan.
Hi ho, D! So good to have you back! Life after 50 will be fabulous for you, I’m sure!
Given the power words have to form reality, I take that to heart, Pam.
Wishing you all the best in the new year,
And you as well, dear.🥰
A beautiful message. Wishing you a Happy and Healthy New Year! ❤
Happy fifties. Those are the years I got a fresh wind and set out in a whole new direction. I’m in my eighties and still discovering wonderful new friends and opportunities, many with my grandchildren. My body shows wear and tear but my health holds out. Best wishes for newness in your life.
Love it. You sound good, too.
Wishing you continued health and growth.
Go Girl! Wishing you all the best in doing your part in making the world a better place!
I like that, because we do better our world when we pursue our joy (if we keep it legal). HA!
It’s good to see you. I hope this hard hat is behind your and good things are ahead.
Hard hats have a way of falling from the sky for me, so I’ve just kept one on! Thanks, Simon. Wishing you all things good in 2020.
How nice to read your voice again! Blessings to you as you lean into the challenges that you have identified as your calling. Your year will be rich, I’m sure.
Love how you put it, A. Yes, I’ve discovered leaning into them works better than being shoved in. If it is true that we attract what we think and expect, you all have prospered me, certainly. Thank you.
The re-emergence of Victo Dolore and now you! My spirit is so lifted! I let my job wash me out to sea and as I’ve slowly paddled back against the current, it’s my WordPress family that reminds me writing always filled my cup. I just finished 14 hours of ‘on call’ work at the surgery center and I am smiling. Because of this post, I am smiling.
Aw, Hi Susan. Goodness, I hope the center knows the gem you are. It is so good to hear from you, and yes, be sure to keep filling yourself for all that you pour out for your patients. I hope you treat yourself to the hot tub or a foot soak! I wondered how your daughter is faring. She still in NY?
Yes, my princess made NYC her official home by asking me to send her drivers license renewal letter up ! ( not that she feels a need for a car, but wanted to change her address for fun ceremonial purposes). I visit much and finally understand why she has seven different kinds of coats!
*Looking forward to your next post
Ha ha ha. That’s right, all those coats I left behind when I flew the nest. Wow. She’s built her life. She sounds happy. So glad you get to see her often. NYC is a great place to visit. I hope you pampered yourself a bit this wknd, Susan. Appreciate the word on my blogging. We shall see. I won’t get to hit it hard if I want to stay on track with my professional goals and – part of that – keep publishing. But my heart beats here and I don’t plan to keep away as long as I had to last yr.
Your post is very inspiring, thanks for sharing. As another author who teaches and writes, I totally relate. And the fifties are a good decade…great time for self-discovery. Have a wonderful 2020!
Thank you. I appreciate your connecting, and take to heart the encouragement. Best wishes in the new year. =)
Your writing has always been good enough, enjoyable to read.
I’m glad to still see you around!
Not sure I was aware of your age till now. 🤔😀😉
I appreciate the encouragement. Ah – yes, I was good enough for the OM Publishing House. But GaR! (And in case you missed it, the way you skim posts, I said I WILL be 50 when he flies the nest. *half-laugh, half-cry*)
LoL I didn’t mean to rush you towards old age! 😂🤷♂️
You have a way of making me chase you outta here with a pitchfork.
You run really fast with that thing. Like a Korean. 🤔
Yep, with the workouts I’ve started. I may start a new routine with pitchforks.
So good hearing from you again! May all the hardships be a thing of the past and may you have joy and only joy from now on! 🙂 xoxo
Hardships never stay in the back of the line, but I’ve built some callouses and have a spare pair of boxing gloves here. =)
I think that’s the spirit! Still… I hope for sunnier days, more of them! 🙂 xoxo
Ha ha. I won’t resist them. =) Please keep wishing them this way.
Oh, I certainly will!!!!! 😘🤗
50??? You’re still a baby! You go for it, girl. Write your heart out, and people will read. The more they read, the better you’ll feel. If nothing else, I’ve learned that over the past 6 or 7 years. (PS – If you ever find yourself in a tough spot and just want someone to listen, you can always email me. Maybe I can’t be there physically, but emotionally I’m all yours.)
Ha ha ha. Baby. I like that. I appreciate your being there. =)
hi – sorry the year was brutal – and cheers to better one’s ahead.
also – glad your friends helped you repair the golden ticket.
the story that comes to my mind is that Kentucky fried chicken was started when Sanders was 65 years old. Not that I love KFC – but the age does not have to limit in some ways!
best wishes to you!!
*Smile* I like that, and now will think of you every time I pass a KFC, LoL. I appreciate the support today.
My pleasure and nice to “see” you – glad we are friends in blogosphere –
I think you have a couple of great friends there. We all have fears and doubts that we carry around with us and not that they’re not all justified, but sometimes we overblow them and stop living. It’s best to take a risk now and then. The result could very much be worth it. Best of luck to you and thank you for sharing!
Well put. The world holds so much promise and we give ourselves the short end of the stick. Wishing you great things in the year ahead. Thanks for the follow, Parker. I look forward to sharing in your journey.
Wishing you an extra Happy New Year, Diana.
*Reaching forward for a larger helping*
Aye! I need me. We need us. 🙂 Cheers!
Yes. =) Happy new year.
I’ve had a similar experience! Wishing you a great New Year! 🙂
Oh, so sorry. And wonderful. *smile*
One foot in front of the other.
Many years ago I asked God for a new name and the answer came immediately, “Perseverance.” I’ve realized that each time I tried something, eventually I had an experience of failure or rejection, so my motto became, “If at first you don’t succeed, give up and try something else.” I ignored the fact that many writers, painters, etc. did not meet with success until after their death or after years of discouragement. And also that each failure is an opportunity to learn and improve. I also ignored the reality that while what I wrote didn’t appeal to a very many people, a few were actually helped by it. It has finally dawned on me that God leaves the 99 and focuses on the 1 lost sheep. Who do I think I am to not consider one or a few worth risking sharing what I’ve learned in order to help them. I am so very happy that you have come through your dark night maybe bloody, but not defeated. There will be other times of doubt and darkness, but once you’ve faced your demons, you know you can do it again. Wishing you blessings large and small, the openness to recognize them, the joy to celebrate them, and gratitude for each and every one. Eileen
Beautiful, Eileen. And I cherish the blessing you close with – my beginning. Thank you.
Thanks for the inspiring update! I’m so so happy that you took up the challenge and confront your fears. Women blossomed later than men in terms of career as most of us weren’t conditioned or privilege enough to pursue our dreams since young. Some people like my mother-in-law had to work as child labor for her family since she was five. Then, she had to start working right after completing high school to provide for herself and subsequently her children. Since she had to take care of so many people so she never had the privilege to pursue her dreams. Happy New Year 2020!
She is a hero, for sure. Women like her and my mother made sure our (and your husband’s) needs were met so we’d be free to pursue our gifts. Thanks for sharing and taking a moment with the encouragement. My best for a year rich with joy and love.
What a wonderful and inspiring post Diana! I am wishing you the best 2020 you can imagine!
*Imagining GREAT things* =) Thanks!