The Things You Lose in Marriage

March 6
Mrs: (Exasperated at the A.D.D.)
Mr: It’s been 11 yrs.
Mrs: (Thinking no kidding.)
Mr: You should be used to it by now.
Mrs: *Disbelief*

March 20
Mr: I realized you have your own love language. You love me by serving [not with words or gestures of affection]. When you make me food without sugar and fat, that’s your gush.
Mrs: B thought I have the gift of encouragement. I know people who do and I am SO not one of them.
Mr: *pensive* I think you do. You can be very encouraging with others. You’re just hard on me and Tennyson sometimes. You know you’re driven, right? Mentally, physically, with his school, in every way. You’re hard on us because you’re critical of yourself.
Mrs: (Cupping his face, in baffled search for a clue.) How in the world are you so insightful tonight?? What did you eat today? You…had fruit. Was it the fruit??!

Pinterest: The Mission Inn

Pinterest: The Mission Inn

March 24
After a private celebration at the ritziest restaurant in town
Mrs: Honey, I’d forgotten I enjoyed fine dining and went out often in Pennsylvania.
Mr: Now you’re just a mom.
Mrs: Greaat

March 26
Mrs: Not tonight, honey. I have a headache. And you know what? I’m sure I’ll have one tomorrow, too. But you’ll have gas again, so there.
(When we’d stopped laughing) Hey, I should blog that. Would you mind if I did?
Mr: Go right ahead.
Mrs: Really? Wow, you’ve changed. You’d let me post that, huh? What – no shame? No pride? Dignity, self-resp —
Mr: You can stop now.


There are snippets here about relationships in time. Please welcome the guests as we slide into our miniseries, a look back in time. I’ll be bringing up the rear. Hope you join us in the remembering.

Last year
Mr: Can I guest blog?
Mrs: *Chortle. Nonstop*
Mr: Is that a no?
Mrs: *Guffaw. Laugh. Laugh*

Last night
Mr: I should open a WordPress account anonymously and send you submissions.

137 thoughts on “The Things You Lose in Marriage

  1. HA HA, that’s funny. You really did post it. LOL

    On Mon, Mar 28, 2016 at 9:58 AM, A Holistic Journey wrote:

    > Holistic Wayfarer posted: “March 6 Mrs: (Exasperated at the A.D.D.) Mr: > It’s been 11 yrs. Mrs: (Thinking no kidding.) Mr: You should be used to it > by now. Mrs: *Disbelief* March 20 Mr: I realized you have your own love > language. You love me by serving [not with words or ge” >

  2. Ahhh…..

    My gift of encouragement is to say, “if you don’t do something about our darn mailbox now lying in the street, I’m going to rip out this rib and give it back to you!” That’s a form of encouragement, isn’t it? I jest, but the thought has certainly crossed my mind, so I might as well confess it as I confess all things that cross my mind, causing me to pour words, endless words, all over the poor man….. πŸ˜‰

  3. So if we want insightful husbands, we need to feed them more fruit? Which one was it? Apple, pear, strawberries, mangoes? (Just composing a shopping list….) πŸ˜‰

    • LOL! I’d ask which it was but no way Mr. A.D.D. will remember (even though it’s rare he has fruit so it should stand out). Apple. I say apple bc it’s what we had in the house around then. It’s with good reason one a day keeps the dr away.

  4. I’ve been known to be insightful at times, but mostly I’m known as Johnny Distracto. It’s all good, though. Sometimes I dream up some good stuff while I’m distracted.

    • Yes, JD, you guys have your own bag of gifts for sure. Mine is brilliant with machinery and gadgets and the wires that cross – though he can’t quite keep up with the ones that cross in my head.

  5. I’m beginning to feel sorry for hubby, married to a mentally and physically driven Stakhanovite who is unforgiving (he did say you were hard on him) and willing to embarrass him online in front of 13,853 followers. Furthermore, you treat him condescendingly (β€œHow in the world are you so insightful tonight?”) after he takes you out to eat in a ritzy restaurant. You do stay at home and play with T while he goes to work, right?

    • I actually feel sorry for him myself. Of course I see how you would take that part as condescension but tone and context define everything, right? It’s called laughing at each other as good friends, MG. The Mr’s comment (one of his rare ones) and his like (one of his many) that opened up the thread shows he knew it wasn’t condescension. And he didn’t take me out. It was courtesy of the new bride and groom. “You do stay at home and play with T while he goes to work, right?” You mean do all the worrying and educate his son to free up my husband so he can think about few things like work and his hobbies? Why, yes. *grin* πŸ˜‰

  6. Oh, he sounds wise (despite the gas:)). Harder on yourself than on others, I bet–even though they may sometimes feel that’s not possible. Used to be that way. Found my way out of it in the form of the gentle voice I missed as a child. Found me in midlife. Go figure:). I hope yours shows up too . . .

    • The gas can certainly be distracting – for me AND for him! “Harder on yourself than on others…even though they may sometimes feel that’s not possible.” YUP!

      “in the form of the gentle voice I missed as a child.” Beautiful. That’s funny, K, bc gentle is the word I knew was missing from the vocabulary of my being and doing even years back. Thank you for sharing. And noted.

  7. I am literally laughing out loud! I loved the last parts about him wanting to guest blog, and then in the aftermath of his disappointment he decides to start his own blog….still giggling…thanks, this made my night!

  8. The Mr sounds like knows it all. But I suppose some men are like that that way. And perhaps some women too. Mr to open up a WordPress if he can muster the effort to? *chortle* Well, it could happen.

  9. I completely understand your reaction to fine dining. There once was a time somewhere in my mind, as well. Oh, and I’m all for your husband submitting his pieces anonymously. Please let that happen! *prays on her knees* *giggles* A lot… I would have pegged you for the type to be hardest on yourself. The most talented people are, D. β™‘

  10. I’m not married, but I still found your post to be hilarious!!!
    “Mrs: Not tonight, honey. I have a headache. And you know what? I’m sure I’ll have one tomorrow, too. But you’ll have gas again, so there.” How romantic πŸ˜€

  11. Oh, this is like slipping on a pair of well-worn slippers ~ how I’ve missed your take and attitude on life (and especially on you and yours). “Not tonight, honey. I have a headache. And you know what? I’m sure I’ll have one tomorrow, too. But you’ll have gas again, so there.” Yep, that is just brilliant closeness πŸ™‚
    Wishing you the best as spring begins to bloom again.

    • Laughing. I can’t post as often as I’d like but I’m always here, R. Jokes, jabs, truth and all. And yes, spring comes quickly in Southern CA. It’s a good thing you’re in that part of the world with the photographer’s dream of four seasons.

  12. I know I’ve been reading you for awhile because I seem to remember a past blog post about wedding anniversaries- so happy anniversary, #11. Look forward to going back in time as a reader and taking the journey you’ve prepared. I love the humorous banter you and the hubby seem to have going between you πŸ™‚

  13. LOL! This is just precious! I love it! Thanks for your recent like on my blog post – Shopping for Bandaids on
    Glad to meet you. Look forward to reading more of your writing. Please leave me a comment soon. : )

      • Hope you enjoyed the unique direction of a piece with such a title as Shopping for Band-aids! Haha! I enjoyed sharing my funny story. πŸ™‚
        I think I will check out all of your posts on blogging as I am soooo impressed with your following. Keep telling myself I am going to do a blog to book but have yet to start the process.
        Have a good weekend and happy writing.

  14. Your post reminds me of an Irish comedian “We’ve been married for 27 years and last night we achieved sexual compatibility (pause) We both had a headache πŸ˜€

  15. Transparency is a characteristic that is rare and precious and I think you do it with flare. If you don’t mind a little counsel on the spiritual side of things, I’ll be brief. My wife Jean and I have been married for 41 years now, we consider ourselves merely sinners saved by grace. We have faced many problems in our life together and I could write a book about what hurts and what could save a marriage, but I will only mention what we have found to be the most important here. You may have heard of it already but if you have it is only good if you put it into practice. Marriage can be really difficult or it can take 2nd place in all God gives us in life and that’s a lot. Dr. Emerson Eggerichs has written a book “Love and Respect” based on the verse Ephesians 5:33, “Husbands love your wives as yourself and wives see to it that she respect her husband.” He and his wife Sarah have also recorded a seminar on 5 DVD’s in which they examines the different perspectives of men and women; men being governed by God’s design from a respect point of view and women from love. 2 well meaning people, who love each other very much can come into conflict time and again just simply because they see things so differently. This conflict if allowed to persist can kill love and respect, which can damage a very good relationship over time. It seems that people like to poo, poo this idea and I’m not sure why, but many couples have found it to be a marriage saver, and my wife and I have profited from it greatly. Every marriage is worth the work to make it better, no question, and from my perspective God knows better than us all; so when he says husbands love your wives it is because our wives understand love far better than we do as men they and they need us husbands to love them well. Wives on the other hand need to respect their husbands because we need respect every bit as much as wives need love, and women do not get respect as well as we do as men. Just supposing we do these things well is not enough, we must be sure we are doing them well, which takes work because as I have said men do not understand how to love any where near as well a woman does, and quite frankly, women do not get respect like a man does. If you don’t have have the book or the DVD’s you can find them on the web. Lord bless!

    • Thank you very much for taking the time to encourage us in the journey. It is obvious you speak with scars that have healed. And you hit it on the head. There is a vast difference between knowing and knowing well, and knowing and doing.

      I see much fruit wherever you choose to plant. Thank you.

  16. Sorry I’m so late in finding this most excellent post. Very sweet. Very funny. I don’t blog about intimate/embarrassing stuff about my husband, but he knows I tell my best friend all. Just last night he said, “I don’t want to do that because I know Heather will hear about it.” Ha! Oops. And it wasn’t even something graphic!

  17. You can banter and jest and share the laughter and that’s the secret of a good marriage. Every time I complain when my ‘Mr’ passes gas (and loud too), he responds with, ‘just thinking of you!’ I have to admit, even when I’m determined to do so, I can never stay mad at him for long and all because he can make me laugh and laugh.
    Thank you for stopping by Diana … it’s been a while! πŸ™‚

  18. Those conversations are a treasure one can always carry. I was chuckling the whole time reading them. Wow… You did post them. :p
    What a bittersweet relationship! (more of sweet) ❀

  19. Marriage is an incredible journey if you are lucky enough to find someone who loves you when you are sobbing and snotty, as well as, when you can’t even understand yourself. Humor is a must.

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