Your Place in the Virtual Revolution

This post is for parents, bloggers, Facebookers, anyone who’s stuck a foot out on Cyberland. In our talk about belonging, we seemed to think in terms of the social Haves and Have-nots. Many of you spoke of the self-consciousness of often feeling on the fringe. Some shared you were too fat or too this or too that to fit in, others that you never even figured out why you always seemed to find yourself on the outside. I wanted to bring to attention something that’s as right in your face as the screen in front of you. The Internet has given every one of us the power to lead. It has made us all insiders.

It’s a new day, a global Do-It-Yourself culture everyone with online access is privy to. YouTube, among others, stands an open platform where anyone can catapult himself into stardom and not hurt himself trying. You can post the silliest, quirkiest, most informative videos and reach thousands in the least – and make as much in dollars. My husband has had the opportunity to monetize his funky YouTube tutorial on how to make Man Kimchee (kimchee made by a man, unheard of in Korean culture. No, I didn’t edit his instructions. See? You can toss basic grammar out the window and still have a shot at good money). We all have watched publishing, newspaper, music conglomerates groan as they caved, giving up a share of the power to self-publishers and bloggers. Cyberspace has become the Great People’s Republic. Alongside the question of copyright; space, boundaries, relationships have redefined themselves yielding a new profile on leaders. Here’s a snippet of a TED Talk from Squidoo.com’s founder Seth Godin and my thoughts on the traits he believes leaders have in common:

1. They challenge the status quo. I’ve observed that high achievers in any field are always on the move, eyeing the next benchmark or creating one. They’re never static.
2. They build a culture. Leadership is less about giving orders as it is about connecting people over shared values and goals. It is the worldwide web, after all. With tribes no longer bound by geography or under the dictate of seasons, virtual tribes can build community across distance and time, and determine their own climate.
3. They have curiosity – about the people in the tribe, about outsiders. They’re asking questions.
4. They connect people to one another. Do you know what people want more than anything? They want to be missed. They want to be missed the day they don’t show up. Seth wasn’t clear if he meant that leaders help people feel valued or if they themselves end up missed where they leave a vacuum. But I found this a fascinating point. We want to know we count, don’t we?
5. Finally, they commit. To the cause, to the tribe.

Seth also describes leaders who have risen from the masses by sheer drive, people who outside their success are actually socially awkward. “You don’t need charisma to become a leader. Being a leader gives you charisma. You know, Bill [Gates] has a lot of trouble making eye contact. Bill has a lot of trouble getting a room of strangers to come around to his point of view. But now, because of the impact his foundation has had, people feel differently around him.” Interesting. People are drawn to success. Social Have-nots can actually get.

Seth points out that you don’t need permission to lead. I would add, to make a difference. “I’m not the best blogger there ever was, but I’ve been persistent at it. Anyone could’ve done what I did. But they didn’t. And we keep making the same mistake again and again where we say, Oh no, no. That’s not for me. Someone else is going to do that one. [We make] excuses from fear.” So it seems all that’s left if you hope for a voice and an audience is to deny yourself the fear and get out of your own way.

Last Sunday I hit 1000 likes on my About, a pretty remarkable milestone for someone who didn’t know which way was up when she started out. If I can do this without the aid of other media platforms, you can get along farther than you think. I am not starry-eyed about my numbers. In part because I’m too tired to be impressed, in part because others out here have done that and more, and then like those who’re not satisfied with just one medal or mission, because you quickly adjust to your new heights and press on to higher ground. This last feeling is a point of transformation all its own for me as one who isn’t a born dreamer. A wide-eyed baby blogger, I was wowed seeing 200 follows on a board. How’d she rack up 75 likes? But I’ve come to a point where I’m not concerned about the numbers anymore. They’re nice but they’ll take care of themselves. My focus is on delivering the goods and on my relationship with you. As for authenticity, at the time, my About page walked itself right out of my head, decided it had to live. What in your life insists on its breath? Give it sun and air. I will support my son in just about anything he wants to pursue when he’s older. But I’ll want him to stay persistent, skillful, and inimitable, to do what he wants beautifully, his own way. Leave a mark. It’s my job to provide the opportunities for him to hear what in his spirit asks to live and nurture the will for him to shoot it to the moon. The majority of us has limitations weighing on our dreams, but don’t let your self-talk be one of them. We stop making excuses for ourselves, license to achieve little, when we accept that the stars usually won’t align over our head or the red carpet run under our feet when we want to set out. We each have our pace, mine maddeningly slow most days. A dream to me feels like a painstaking tapestry of priceless minutes I thread here, braid there, working my way around this giant rock I resent that’s the stuff of life. We make do. Berlin isn’t the only place the Wall’s come down. We’re talking about leadership in any context but the virtual world has leveled the playing field. Take your place. Claim it. If you want to.

214 thoughts on “Your Place in the Virtual Revolution”

  1. I smiled as I read–thinking you might have been a cheer leader in high school. You surely do have a way of encouraging those who need and want to express themselves! But one question: is it really all about “me,” or is it about helping others? What good can I do for those who are hurting, empty or lost?

    1. Funny you say that, Beth, because I almost added that I’m not the cheerleader type (esp for myself). It’s both. At least for me, it’s been fully about myself (would take posts to explain that, some of which I’ve already written, one I have coming down the pike) and fully about you. I think, like this post. I’d love others to pipe in on your ques but seems the best way to make the impact you have in mind is to share your own emptiness and loss. By the way, I came THIS close tonight (thumb kissing index finger) to chkg in on the post you mentioned. I have to turn in. I wrote this post through a terrible sleep-deprived headache. Talk again. Thx for being here.

      Xxxxx
      D.

      1. It may not be your intention to be a cheer leader, but you are mine! I always come back to this blog for encouragement!

      2. Kinda funny. An insider joke with husband I came really close to posting tonight, too. How God has eked out impossible good from me – uses me despite my nature. 😛

        Thx so much for the lovely word, Beth.

      1. Let us start with the title “Your Place in the Virtual Revolution” and the rest speaks by itself. I feel I was reading one of Shakespeare theatre play!

  3. Please let me explain my question(s) posted earlier. I was not referring to you when I asked is it really about me. I was thinking of bloggers in general (myself included). I was thinking of the value of what we put out there in cyberspace.

  4. Well, well HW – you have certainly opened an interesting can of worms this time. No doubt that the list you presented is a partial description of the effects of leadership. It is my personal opinion that that leadership should be amongst the basic needs described by Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow's_hierarchy_of_needs ). For a long time our need for food could not even be satisfied without leadership – i.e. hunting and gathering parties. I’ve often thought of leadership with the image of the leader as a prism in reverse where he/she collects all the inputs of the various “colors” of team individuals and focuses their totality as a pure white beam of light on the problem or target. (Sent you a rough diagram via e-mail – can’t attach here.)

    There is so much to say HW so I’ll shorten it up here or I’ll never end. Ha! I do like all the points you have brought up (all of which could bear great discussion) however I find something missing. A leader must, by definition, lead others to a conclusion or an end result or target of some sort. Failure to do that would cause the followers to wander off. I’ve seen this happen many times in business – no target, no leader. Remember – a goal is a dream with a time line. Time, once again, plays an integral part in the operation of humanity. I suspect this is so because time allows us the gift of choice and creation. It is the corporeal expression of integration and hence, ultimately Love. God has given us time by dis-integrating Himself in order to allow us to choose and create ourselves. And so leadership is the reintegration of individuals to achieve that which no one person could achieve alone. Basically moving in the direction of God.

    1. I, too, felt there were many posts just within Seth’s talk. I really like your paradigm of leadership – and the cool graphic made sense. “A leader must, by definition, lead others to a conclusion or an end result or target of some sort. Failure to do that would cause the followers to wander off.” Yes, Seth said in the same breath people are waiting to be led, shown where to go next. Obviously implies a journey destination.

      “And so leadership is the reintegration of individuals to achieve that which no one person could achieve alone.” Beautiful. Seth spoke of leveraging others. I would add, which is something I’ve been excited to do here this year.

      Thx so much for enriching the discussion, Paul.

      1. Thank you HW. The word “leveraging” leaves a bit of a bad taste in my mouth. It is possible to look at it that way if only part if the picture is shown. “My focus is on delivering the goods and my relationship with you.” – perfect. See, not leveraging , more like participating and deliver the goods – a common focus or destination. And the process of participating for a leader means showing others how to participate as well towards a common goal. And the question of who are you serving – yourself or others – is irrelevant for you are serving both yourself and others to a greater good. I find Seth’s stuff a bit towards “using” as opposed to building. He sees leadership as a tool and it see it as a restoration – for the individual and for humanity

      2. Ah – good distinction from the using. At the same time, it depends on how/why we say leverage. I hear “efficiency” in that word – and you know how I love efficiency, Paul. I hear synergy, too. Although my collaboration with guests takes up a great deal of time in the back end, the result we deliver you all is richer for the way I harnessed the work of other thinkers. I hope. (Yes, I see…there it is. RESULT ha ha ha.) I’ll refer Beth to this comment. I hope it helps ans her ques. Thx, Paul.

      3. Ummm, leveraging does involve efficiency (producing a result greater than the input energy or force), synergy (the use of one factor to increase efficiency of another within a complex scenario), and other interactions. Here’s my problem. I leverage assets, situations, agreements, facilities – all of which are used to increase my control and/or value (read power). I rarely leverage people (I have been known to but as a carefully considered exception) because that means using them for my gain and to their detriment. I grow larger and they grow smaller. We humans have an innate disgust and dilslike for those who use us for personal gain – even when it does us no apparent harm. It shows a lack of respect.

        The concept of “leverage’ is from “lever”, obviously, and a lever is a machine that allows a force increase over distance. So, we use a lever, for instance, to move a rock from a hole – a rock that we would not have the strength to move directly. Nonetheless, a lever has two ends, the user end which benefits and the output end which is at the mercy of the user end. A lever benefits one way only. If a machine could be said to amplify human characteristics, it would be self-interest that a lever would amplify.

        But….if you take a lever and make two beneficial ends say like a teeter totter, which is a special type of lever, then the analogy is more like leadership. Both ends benefit (the leader and the follower) and sometimes one end moves the other and sometimes it is vice versa. The best leaders I have known will meld their tactics, abilities, perspective, and even direction, according to the skills and desires of the followers. The greater concept of the target or result remains but the tactics change depending on both followers and leader. The leader shapes the team, including him/herself, into a cohesive whole partially by training/motivating others to participate.

        This is why I said that leadership has characteristics of “leveraging” (one way of looking at it) but that leveraging was too much to the benefit of the user and not the greater good. There are proponents of leadership that insist that the best leaders are so because they know how to follow. That’s similar to the teeter-totter analogy. A leader produces a situation that is for the good of all, a win-win. Leverage produces gain only for the user. There are definitely “leaders” out there that do use up others to “lead” – I find that abhorrent. Hedge fund managers who get rich while bankrupting their clients – pops to mind. Dictators who hold power by killing or starving their citizens is another extreme example of leveraging leadership.

        Anyway, sorry for the rambling but, as usual, your posts cause me to think and I felt I had to clarify what I had said before. 😀

  5. Amazing post. I’ve been thinking about how I want my little site to be, and I think it’s simply a work in progress at the moment…but this post spoke to me as I have been pondering! I love coming here and reading your thoughtful posts. Thanks so much !

      2. Ha ha. Well, you know Rajiv, the McD slap style has been just the thing for Generation X (I think it’s Y now, right?) the last two decades. Sad. A whole other post on the postmodern decline of refined language.

  7. Fabulous post and so true 🙂 Like you I want to encourage my children to do and be whatever they want to be. The age of the same 9-5 job until you retire is disappearing fast (if it hasn’t already gone) but the exciting possibilities that are springing up in it’s place are wonderous and many. I want to embrace and I want them to embrace. Grow or die right? xx

    1. Yes, we have seen it true of mega companies that resisted change. They died when the virtual revolution swept in. Funny bc neither is the body static. Even in stillness millions of cells are in motion, the blood pushing through. Lovely to hear from you. Thanks for sharing.

      Diana

  8. in 4 years of blogging, i have found the most informative blogs are the least liked. the blog likes depend on your subject and your ability to get yourself around word press, and known to other bloggers.
    some people are very good at making a hobby of liking blogs, whether they really like them or are just pressing the like button, and the follow option just to let you know they are there – is questionable. i have seen some pretty stale old blogs, have over a hundred likes – for one quote – and yet people putting in huge amounts of research and thought, who do not have a like agenda, often don’t get known. the real test today is if you have a google ranking, not a word press ranking.. eve p.s. i cannot write on this lap top, so excuse the mistakes. sorry.

    1. Right – I’d say some of the most useful blogs are not so much the least liked (though you meant it literally and are right) as they are not popular. I understand what you say of savviness on WP playing a big role in one’s “success”. I would add and qualify the statement with the reminder that the comments, both quantity and quality, will tip you off as to the genuine strength of a blog and its readership, and if those likes are real or not. There are blogs with thousands, if not tens of thousands, followers with an interestingly paltry board of comments. Thanks for piping in. =)

    2. Quite perceptive observation. I would like to think I fit into that category. I certainly have few enough followers. 😉
      One thing I have to consider is that my posts are long, too long. I have divided them on occasion and worried about their continuity. Perhaps the best thing I can take away from this is to write 1 page or less and see if more people will actually stop long enough to read and consider.

      1. In my earlier days, my posts were shorter. (I guess I’m running a theme here, BJ, given what I said under the successful blogging post, too, about the liberties I came to feel I can take with a larger, loyal following.) Though I’ve read differing takes on post length, the majority of bloggers who choose to advise on this push for shorter, and that’s just common sense. I don’t necessarily want to read a long post. Having said that, I do — when I come to the table trusting/expecting the blogger to deliver, that my time will have been worth something. And I am exceedingly grateful to my wonderful readers who hang in there with me time after time.

        Through my lengthier posts this year, I have always stayed mindful of the word count. For readers’ sake. The only reason I don’t end up cutting is where I feel the piece asks to be kept whole.

  9. Beautiful post, and what a lovely paragraph about your son! He’s going to have such a head start in making a unique contribution, because you are giving him space to be him, therefore unique. But I guess this is true democracy, the ability to share what we think, with our own voices. Thank you for the reminder.

  10. Uh…hello, where is your husband’s famous kimchee YouTube video???? And Seth Godin’s TED talk? Hmmmm? 😛 I really like Seth (don’t know your husband), so I’m glad to hear that you are moved my him, too! Here’s to the Internet! Support Net Neutrality so we can all still enjoy the Great People’s Republic. And congrats on hitting another milestone! xxoo

    1. LOL. Lani, by the time the third request for the vid came in, I had to add it to the post. See bolded text, 2nd paragraph. =) The milestone was a sidenote for illustrative purposes but thanks. I’m here bc of support like yours.

      2. I should ask him about that. We like to keep things clean and also keep our hands from getting hot w/ the spice. But traditionally, they used bare hands. As long as they’re washed, it’s good for the food – good, loving energy. I dunno why but even w/ my holistic nutrition studies and blog, I have steered clear of kimchee-making (much to hubby’s bafflement). I just had an epiphany: probably bc it seems to complicated to me. My way of shutting down lol.

      3. Yeah, you definitely don’t want to get the spice on your skin, and accidentally transfer it to your face or nose or somewhere like that! Arggg! It burns!!!!! 😛

  11. You always seem to speak to my thoughts, my should I or shouldn’t I’s. I believe this was a “sign” of a “yes I should.” So I will post my thoughts, if not today, tomorrow, on a controversial subject. Thank you, Diane, for showing your inner courage, beauty and light through your “virtual” words. Phyl

      1. I like the whole concept of a virtual revolution and how people who may have been on the outside looking in, can now have a voice. One of the things I appreciate about the internet is how people reveal themselves in ways they don’t usually do in real life. Sometimes you have to pry things out of people, but when they’re safely tucked behind a keyboard, they tend to be more open and honest. So strangers can now make some connections and relate to each other in ways that would likely take years on the ground.

      2. Yeah, Seth said those on the fringe can now connect with one another. And it really has been a revolution. We had the industrial revolution. Really a new day. Helpful feedback! Thx. =)

    1. Aw, thanks so much for being here, Tish, and cheering me on. It was a really bad one, actually, from over a week of not having been able to catch up on sleep. But I really wanted to get it out! I just realized, this past hour, that spelling things out like this is foremost of great help to me. Good to preach to myself. -)

      Hug,
      Diana

  14. Hi Diana, I’m enjoying your maturing voice, encouragement and skills at drawing out your community. I too would like to see your husbands kimchee video!

    The line that most resonated for me is ” What in your life insists on its own breath? Give it sun and air.” The internet and blogs give many people an opportunity to share their voice and views and create community around the world.

    I’m not sure I’d call this leading, but I’m glad to have my blog, be growing a community and part of so many other bloggers’ lives.

    blessings, Brad

    1. Brad, your opening comment earned a quizzical, half-worried smile in my eyes. Maturing? Oh, not yet, please. That sounds like it’s gotta be downhill from there. LOL But thanks. So kind of you. I’ve been pleased (and hopeful) to see you seemed to enjoy a growth in response on your blog this year. =) And you should. It’s a beautiful place.

      At the third request for the vid that came in, I added it into the post. See bolded text, second paragraph. Actually, other viewers/hubby’s friends really enjoyed it. =) Thx for the interest lol.

      Diana

      1. Thanks Diana, I appreciate how you keep track of my life and blog, as well as many others. Yes, my blog is growing, and like you, I’ve relaxed about it and stats. I’m grateful that people want to read and engage.
        I’ll go check the video! 🙂

      4. Oh honey, Korean side dishes are a drama all their own. Complicated food from complicated people, I say. To think women after women before me labored over that. It’s a dying art in our generation. We just buy. My husband got too busy to try and perfect it, too. Kinda sad to think there will come a day no one will know how to make it well. Thx for watching. =) Will let hubby know.

      6. Omg. THERE you go…you do have the oomph to set out on unchartered territory, tackle the tough things! You can start small. There are many diff kinds of kimchi served in homes and restrnts. You can simply pickle some cabbage by salting it in some water and leaving it a day or so to ferment. Koreans call that water kimchee, yummy in the summer. They usu. ferment white turnip with it. But do look it up. Don’t go just by this, B! I’d love to know how it goes.

    1. Actually, Mona, I came close to elaborating on POSSIBILITY, something I’ve talked about here. I thought I’d save it for another post. =) I know you didn’t say it as a loaded word but I love the concept of it, the promise it holds for us all. =)

      D.

  16. Leadership comes down to vision and a plan. When you have that and you tell others followers will take root and go forth to make the vision a reality. The trouble with it is that not everyone’s vision is to the benefit of others. So we all must use our own discernment to pick from the buffet of the internet.

    Thank you for your post and your vision is beautiful. Hope that mine resonates the same.

    Regards,
    Clifford Mitchem
    Advocare Distributor
    Nutrition + Fitness = Health
    http://www.AdvoCare.com/13087657

    1. Right, not all vision serves others (they may serve the private interest or ego of the dreamer) and not all will interest others. I’ve always thought – from observation – that leaders need the nectar of charisma to draw followers to their plan. But Godin’s take on success and how it can build more perceived charisma was very interesting.

      Gave me hope. =)

      Nutrition + Fitness = Health is always golden in my book. =)
      Thx for adding to the discussion.

  17. I love TED talks. As always, great article Diana. For me, I have too many passions and dreams. If I only didn’t have to sleep and maybe if I was Wonder Woman, I could do them all.
    Hope you are well.
    🙂

    1. I planned to mention this epiphany at some point but I realized this yr this blog is a TED stage in its own way. Blew me aways a bit. =) I know how you feel, S. I feel it spirit to spirit, and have seen the longing on your blog and in your art. Talk about sleep…I’m clocking 2 weeks straight now on the shortage. Can’t begin to tell you how I’ve been feeling. Did you son make the language adjustmts okay this summer? =) Thx for popping in on this.

      Xxx
      D.

      1. Hi Diana. Well, our sleep is getting better. Thankfully. Plus the sun has been out the past couple of days and it’s been nice and warm. That’s done wonders for the seratonin levels in my brain 🙂 Thanks for asking about my son. Actually, he hasn’t any problems with the language. It’s my 4 year old daughter that’s a bit confused right now. Her teacher said today that she got really upset with one of her school friends because she wasn’t understanding her. She was speaking to her in English. She’s seems to mixing the two languages a bit. Hmmmmm.
        🙂

  18. “What in your life insists on its own breath? Give it sun and air…..

    The majority of us has limitations weighing on our dreams, but don’t let your self-talk be one of them. We stop making excuses for ourselves, license to achieve little, when we accept that the stars usually won’t align over our head or the red carpet run under our feet when we want to set out. We each have our pace, mine maddeningly slow most days. A dream to me feels like a painstaking tapestry of priceless minutes I thread here, braid there, working my way around this giant rock I resent that’s really the stuff of life. We make do. But Berlin isn’t the only place the Wall’s come down. We’re talking about leadership in any context but the virtual world has leveled the playing field. Take your place. Claim it. If you want to.”

    I love this post, but, in particular, this. I always know when I really need to go someplace encouraging, I can stop by your blog, Diana, and get a cup of sunshine and inspiring words. I’ve been on a blogging hiatus, but I’ve returned, and yours is the second blog post I’ve read. Thanks so much for your wisdom, your gorgeous imagery, and inspiration.

    You are amazing!

    1000 likes on your about page? I’m thrilled for you. You are such an engaging and passionate writer and you touch the lives of all those who come here.

    I’m glad you are a contemporary of mine. So…I’m just wondering…if you hadn’t mentioned it before…do you have any plans to write a book about all your lovely wisdom? Or a book of poems?

    And now I want to find this video of this homemade kimchee your husband makes. Feel like sharing it with your readers? Okay, if not all of them. how about just me.

    btw, I’ve missed you!

    xoxo

    Casey

    1. Hi Casey, I’d been wondering how you are. I didn’t want to obligate you to visit. And here you are with your bouquet of love and encouragement, as always. The Likes were a sidenote for illustrative purposes. I hadn’t chked that page in over a year, I think, but happened to notice the curve I was rounding.

      That is so funny you ask: I had included a word about my book (from my dreams, the agreement I finally made w/ myself to write) in the draft of this post. I deleted it last-minute to keep the post tight and focused. You are just so thoughtful to wonder and ask, Casey. I am barely able to keep up the blogging and homeschooling. Pfff, forget the housework. Someday, someday, oh, I hope. But you all have nurtured the seed of confidence that I really could write one. (Actually, my blog on holistic nutrition was originally the core of the book I thought I would pursue but the Holistic Journey readers completely swept me on a diff path and I have barely touched that blog. If/when I do a book, it will not be on nutrition.)

      Since several of you have asked for the kimchee vid, I added it to the post. You’ll spot the bolded link in the 2nd paragraph. Welcome back to this circle and to blogosphere, Casey. I hope you are renewed and have come through the grief that never really leaves.

      Love,
      Diana

      1. One of the great things about writing is that you can lay down track, a little bit at a time. Eventually it just may end up being a book. =)

        I know it’s in you. In the meantime, I love that you are keeping yourself sharp by writing here on your blog, so we can be nourished by your wisdom, humor and friendship.

        Thanks so much for posting the video. I will have to check it out. I have this book called Wild Fermentation (I think), but haven’t really pursued any of that yet. I just know how GOOOD fermented foods are for you. So, I’d like to try it, and I’ll look into your husband’s video. Thanks so much.

        As for me, I have more up days these days, but sometimes, I have a setback (like last night/this morning). Lots of things are changing, internally, that require some external changes. Not easy sometimes being a mother, having to make decisions that impact more than just me.

        Thanks so much for your presence here in the blogworld.

        Keep that light of yours shining bright, my friend.

        Casey

      2. So terribly sweet. Thx for sharing your latest challenges, C. We just have to keep on, one foot in front of the other.

        You might chk out my last replies to Brad on the kimchee. I suggested a simpler version he could try bc the traditional method is really an art.

  19. For some reason, the Like button isn’t showing up for me to click on. Congrats on your accomplishments- you’ve really created something remarkable here- and the blood and toil and inspiration are obvious. I also appreciate your generosity, always encouraging others to do the same and sharing your lessons and trade secrets. I have a feeling part of the remarkable growth is that your not in it for the pats on the back but to make offerings. Glad to be part of your community, Diana.

    1. The About was an aside but thanks, Diahann. The acknowledgmt of the blood and toil (and I’ll take that, the inspiration) is what I’m really grateful for. We know nothing meaningful will come of anything long-term if we’re out for the kudos or to be self-serving. Keep it real, and so the results will be. I wonder if you were logged out of WPress. Not so that you can tap in a like but as fyi for the future, whatever blog you’re on.

  20. I am not sure about myself “leading” anything/cause on the ‘Net –I scarcely publish in blogosphere compared to other prolific bloggers.

    But I do spend some blog posts on comparing different parts of Canada where I’ve lived. Really it’s not that unique this perspective since we live in a more mobile society, but I seem to find enough fascination on using this as a jump-off point. At times, it does feel like being an outsider-insider thing.

    I haven’t really thought about what type of thing I want to do for another party this time..

  21. The internet is a marvellous learning tool and an ideal forum to express yourself. It can be a positive or negative change agent in society too. But it can be a time wasting experience if people are only satisfied with trivia.

  22. Two lines I really like, that speak to me: “The majority of us has limitations weighing on our dreams, but don’t let your self-talk be one of them,” and ” . . working my way around this giant rock I resent that’s really the stuff of life.” Boy, sometimes I really resent that rock.

    1. I’m glad to know the parts that zinged you, J. I struggle w/ the resentment. Have to remind myself it’s a luxury (ah — there’s that old post, the luxury of art!) to even have the props in my life to write when I can actually sit and get to it. There is war going on across the ocean, many are hungry even as I type, Mexico is sending her young kids – my boy’s age – off alone to the American border in hopes of saving their lives from the poverty and violence down there.

      1. Yes, you are exactly right in the sense that having the time and right circumstances to have the expansiveness of mind to write is not something the starving or those running for their lives generally are thinking about. And I know I’m not always as aware of that fact, or as grateful for my fairly safe situation as I should be. But I will say it’s also true that for some, art is never a luxury, but their lives, and they will continue to create under the most dire circumstances; it’s what gets them through. That drive is a rare gift, and I have the most profound respect for it and the people that possess it.

      2. Absolutely – we’ve come back to the post! LOL Remember, I wrote it caught between the poles we just discussed. And as I’ve said, these words…these words all over this blog…are my breath. ‘S why I cranked out this post through one of the worst sleep-deprived headaches. =) Not bc I felt my readers were waiting for a post (bc I’m aware there are tens of millions of us out here and there are plenty of distractions from AHJ) but simply bc

        I
        had
        to
        get
        it
        out.

  23. Leaders learn from the example of others. Followers live vicariously through others. May we always have that adventurous spirit to be leaders in our own right. Thanks for the reminder!

    1. Mona, I looked at your avatar to see more about you and that was as far as my computer would let me go. The little sign said your blog, Forgiveness is a Choice, was not available.

      2. I’m so happy to see my name connected to forgiveness, but I’m confused. I don’t see the link here, and I’m confused about the avatar message. I would be delighted for people to see my “When to Forgive” on amazon.com. Unfortunately I can’t figure out how to got to amazon to copy the link while I’m using the web for this.

        Or am I not the only Mona?

      3. I meant, in replying to Beth, that she’d see the link you’d dropped off in the comments under the forgiveness post. No other Mona here. =) Anything on avatars you can ask tech Support. I’m still mystified by a lot of the technical stuff. :/

      4. Diana, I can’t tell you how pleased I was that you took the time to send me a link to the forgiveness article. Oh so many things popped into my mind and now I have fodder for a new post on my own blog! I try not to get personal with my blog articles, but I could go on and on about things that have happened in my years of life–to me, to my husband and even to my children–things that could have made us all bitter. I try not to look back on those things so my days are more cheerful.

        Yes, forgiveness is a decision–maybe a decision to follow Matthew 5:23-24 if the offense is on our side. But forgiving brings hope in a promise if we follow Matthew 6:12, 14-15 when the offender has not even asked forgiveness. It truly is a struggle we have to suffer through to accomplish.

        [[<3]]

        Beth

      5. “It truly is a struggle we have to suffer through to accomplish.” No kidding. I’m so glad for the ring of excitement in your voice. =) I had hoped to visit today but just let me know when you’ve written it and I’ll catch up then. I love when readers run off, alit with their next post.

      6. I think I need an education. First I lost this message. Now I’m back to say “Forgiveness is a Choice” would be a great title for my blog, but actually my blog is “monagustafsonaffinito.com” I’m not sure where the other title came from, though it does sound familiar. Maybe it’s one that was set up by folks helping with a web site — which I no longer have because I couldn’t afford to pay for it. Maybe I’ll start a web sight up again if I get some action on “Figs & Pomegranates & Special Cheeses” once it’s published on amazon.com.” (soon) I actually still own the name “forgivenessoptions.com” but there’s nothing there right now.

        But please help me — how do I get to my avatar — or anyone’s avatar for that matter? See? I need an education.

        To the extent you want to know more about me, the old fashioned method of entering my name on google will give you more quantity than you want to deal with. Unless, that is, they have removed it for some reason.

        Yes, I do have to learn my way around. I need to change my photo, for example. Guess I’ll set aside an afternoon to deal with that.

        I don’t know if google will reveal that I work at finding ways to avoid getting depressed over the terrible things happening in our world, and my distress at the cruelty and greed that seems to prevail.

        I am so honored that you wanted to know more about me. Thanks.

      7. Mona, to find your Gravatar (where I was poking around), just click on your own photo from any one of your own responses and it will take you to a small pop-up. Then from there click again on the suggested link and view your Gravatar. That is what I was doing when I found the blog title. I think I have copied the right link and you may not have to go to all the trouble. It should be public information, so here goes (http://en.gravatar.com/monaaffinito).

        Beth

      8. Thanks for your help. As you can see, I did post the more recent photo — the one that will go on the back cover of “Figs … ”

        You made my afternoon easy, and that makes me happy. and grateful

      9. Mona, I am happy to help. I have had my share of tears over such things. When it finally clicks, it all seems so easy.

  25. Congrats on your 1,000 likes. What you have written really resonates with me. I am hoping to get to the points that you write about. I feel like I am struggling right now and drifting instead of finding firm footing. Thanks for sharing your insights it has inspired me to keep going.

    1. Thx. Shoot, I’ve been feeling sheepish about the congrats ‘cuz it was an illustrative sidenote. Thx for staying w/in view and yeah, the little man’s shooting up so tall and drumming his heart out, better every month. =) Thx. Oh, I found him ordering his stuffed animals in a circle when I got up – one playing the LEGO keyboard he built, one on the frisbee drum set, another on the electric guitar he built out of a 3-D building set, the rest the audience. Where’s my camera??!

  27. Some good thoughts about blogging in the comments. I think a post should be as long or as short as it needs to be to cover the topic in an engaging way. Waffling for 1500 words when you only have 700 words of information is no good but neither is dumping most of the interesting stuff for the sake of a 500 word limit.

    But leadership – yes. You know I don’t have a lot to add about leadership but I did like hearing these thoughts. I especially liked the bit at the end where you talked about supporting your son in his endeavours.

    But as for a level playing field – I worry (as some other commenters) that sometimes the bias has now tilted towards those whose real talent is self-promotion. I admire what you’ve been able to build up, but I see an awful lot of people getting “expert” status with literally millions of page views peddling information that is just really not very good.

    1. I’m smiling thinking of Paul’s insistence you’re an alpha. (Not that I necessarily disagree, although I do think you might be a bit too diplomatic to be.) I added the thoughts on (my) parenting because the evolution of online platforms and their impact on community and even face-to-face relationships have changed the profile of leaders and will do so even more in the next ten years. Significant implications for the kinds of social skills called for in our kids. The virtual revolution has wrought results entirely different from the industrial.

      The friend I go back farthest with (silent but among most loyal readers) echoed your concern, more broadly that those who shouldn’t have such open access or enjoy net neutrality do. She’s speaking of those on the farther end of the spectrum than the ones you mean (as a concerned parent, not a blogger) but yes to both points. The greater the potential for good, the greater for evil or the self-centered, isn’t it? I shared last year in the first Calling All Artists, Thinkers, Writers the startling realization that what I’d been drawn to exploring on AHJ were truth and beauty. And true, beauty, and goodness I learned were the cornerstone virtues of the homeschool model I’d just chosen. Just wanted to share that. =)

      So…I don’t see you as one to challenge the status quo, though I do see you as a leader in the other respects. =) ?

      1. Finally getting back to agree that “not very good information” is a vast understatement in some cases. I’ve seen dangerous misinterpretations, misrepresentations and just lies out there.

        I definitely agree that our kids will need social media skills – although I still like the take that online life is real life and fundamentally it’s the same basics in a new medium. Truth, beauty and goodness.

      2. “online life is real life and fundamentally it’s the same basics in a new medium” So well put, Bronwyn. You explained clearly why I felt that the skills to build connections online apply in the offline world as well, that the virtual revolution has just changed so much of the rest of our life.

        “Truth, beauty and goodness.” Yep. =)

    2. Hey I went to your blog and found lots of interesting stories. Yes, I too have been guilty of holding out ’til hubby got home to collapse in a corner by myself so I could keep my sanity. Days on end with *five* kids sometimes got to me.

  28. Wow. I had to really smile, considering what I have just posted he he…Me, too. I try not to worry too much about the numbers. I do check. I do some tweaks sometimes, too. But bottomline is no matter how many visits you get, if they don’t stay to read or if they read and just say blah, it doesn’t matter to them. I just try to think that with what I write, hopefully at least one person will find it, like it, and also learn something from it even a tiny bit.

    I have respect for serious bloggers but maybe I’m not too much of a go-getter like them. That just suits me fine. Some days I get many visits, many days I get just two. If I’m even lucky, that’s not just my visits that get recorded, he he.

      2. I don’t know why I can’t locate my reply to another blogger….ah, that may have been the response to the comment he misplaced under Insider, Looking Out. Anyway, I said I do care about my numbers. I don’t believe bloggers who claim otherwise. Maybe I should add this in a future post. I’m just not hung up about them. =)

      3. I agree. Why put your journal out there when you don’t want people to see it? I do care enough about the numbers, but I don’t lose sleep over it. Sometimes I try not to care too much about the blog because i want to have peace of mind ha ha haaa!!!

        I can’t do much to improve it anyway especially since mine’s a free account. So I just share what I want to share 🙂

  29. I feel as though I get to return to school and truly learn something every time I visit your site, D. You have such a wonderful way of conveying your ideas, sharing them, and making your readers feel they are sitting in your living room just having a conversation. This is an amazing trait/gift, and you’ve ‘got it in spades’.

    I love that you say: ‘The numbers will take care of themselves, your job is to bring the quality content’. (slightly paraphrased-sorry)

    Bottom line? Keep on keeping on, D. You rock!

  30. Thanks for this! I like the bit about wanting to be missed. I think that is bang on. I also think that part of the job of a good leader is to figure out how to find a way to creatively get out of the way so that your being missed creates a vacuum that moves things forward.

  31. That sound you hear is my mind being blown, Diana. I have had struggles in the leadership department – I used to read and collect books on leadership only to fail over and over again because I didn’t give myself permission to lead. Crippling low self-esteem would not entertain the idea that a slug like me would have *anyone* behind him. I wasn’t even behind me. So no leadership guru could ever entice that trait from me. And I still wrestle with it today. So what you say both brings me up and yet tugs at those parts that are still unfulfilled. And yet, there you go being all straight up and all – “claim it”, you challenge. “If you want to” comes the caveat. Well, that puts a spin on it, doesn’t it?

    So armed with that, and Paul’s fantastic responses, I am challenged to face my own ideas of what I can, or shall not, be. Leadership not be in the boardroom, as we know. It comes from the wellspring of a quiet confidence and a persistence and having vision. Sort of what you want your little guy to pursue and embody. I am not a man of vision, but I am glad to do the heavy lifting.

    You have all these things, Diana, and are humble about it. And that is why this post really works and hits home. Those “likes” are there for a reason. They aren’t robots or manufactured pats on the back. You touch lives and do what has been called for you to do. And that is a real blessing. For all of us.

    Cheers,
    Paul

    1. Your starting words brought the smile to this face as only you can, Paul. I emailed that long-lost (& found) friend the other day that people sense when we’re stiff, insecure, in social settings. And I think they reflect that back to us, give us what we in so many gestures prophesy. As to the heavy lifting, you know the best leaders are the best servants. I so appreciate the “menial” labor my husband waded through to cut his own way in the world. They build a lot of world-sense, common sense, and a certain character I was (fortunately and unfortunately) spared from having to forge in just that way, growing up. Basically, you sho’ learn a whole lot in the trenches that you can take with you to impact others.

      “I am challenged to face my own ideas of what I can, or shall not, be. ” Love that.

      And there you go, surprising me again with the turn in your feedback. As might be expected, I gave a lot of thought to myself as a leader writing this — revisiting old self-assessments. I did that because I am not charismatic and will draw a select few extremely loyal and special relationships. I do not attract crowds. (So I dunno what the hec happened here on AHJ!! LOL LOL).

      Your comments always weigh heavily with humility, P. I’m so glad this post struck you. Now GO! Off with you! Make ye disciples, I mean followers, of all nations…Go continue to write as marvelously as you do. Do such a good job as to force me to invite you back on the platform. LOL.

      Xxx
      Diana

  32. Just because of this, I’m going to unlike your about page so you’ll be at 999. Ha, seriously, keep up the good work.
    Funny you should mention YouTube fame. I wrote about that to you a few weeks back. And this week I learned that some of my ‘famous’ youtubers’ were ‘stars’ at the VidCon a few weeks back. Fascinating!

    1. LOL!! Sorry to spoil your naughty intentions but we’re a good ways past 1000 by now so it wouldn’t dip to 999. And I remember your mentioning it. AND you well may be on your way to stardom with all the online vids you have of yourself.

  33. Love this!! Your words are very encouraging! There’s a reason your blog numbers are so good!! Actually, there are MANY reasons! And your sincerity and words of truth really come through. Thank you! 💗

      1. Diana,

        Besides the wealth of information found here, the inspiration is something to keep coming back for. I truly have learned more here than I have from all tutorials combined. Just this week, I was inspired to stay up until almost 3:00 AM one night and 2:00 AM two other nights revising my blog. I am determined to make the topics more visible and encouraging for those who want what I have to offer.

        The comments are wonderful discussion classes. I have learned from you and those who follow you too. It is like being back in school again!

      2. Just amazing. All I have is thanks for the receptivity and for letting me know, Beth. You’ve enriched the Journey, really made it the Great Conversation. Goodness, I hope you’re not too tired for the day. Remember what I said about finding like-minded folks on the Reader.

      3. Of course Diana. I love your projection of positivity. The call to action. We all have the power to be who we want to be and to be able to use that power in the cyber world while hiding out in our homes is a power extended to even the timid who wouldn’t dare be vocal perhaps in the real world. My favorite part is, we can leave our marks with our voice and ideas and those who hesitate with opportunity are apt to be left behind. Stand up and be counted. To be accountable and dedicated is being a leader. Like I said, words that inspire. 🙂

      4. I’ve been glad to see the growth in your readership, Deb. Happy you’ve been reaping the rewards of your labor of love over your blog and the dedicated investment in other blogs. You’ve certainly risen to be counted. I hope you continue to shine through your books.

        Diana

  36. Not an answer to anyone in particular, but a comment to everyone… Today I read another new feature for WordPress blogs–the comment/like feature has been changed.

    Introducing: Comment Likes

    We are part of he experiment! Shouldn’t that make us feel happy for what has been accomplished?
    Hey! No fair! This new system tells my age!

  37. Hello Diana, congratulations on 1000 likes on your about. Way to go!

    These are what resonated with me the most.
    “I’ve observed that high achievers in any field are always on the move, eyeing the next benchmark or creating one.”

    Drive. If I post something on Sunday, it doesn’t matter how many likes or comments that follow, by Monday, latest Tuesday, my mind is on the next post. If I continue this way, there is hope 🙂

    “Leadership is less about giving orders as it is about connecting people over shared values and goals. . . . Tribes are no longer bound by geography, no longer have to adapt to the dictate of seasons.”

    Engagement. Community. A well-written post is great. However the engagement that follows through comments, broadens the conversation more than the writer could have imagined, and creates a win-win for all.

    I come here and find all these elements and more. No wonder it doesn’t take long to feel at home.

    1. Thanks for the hearty cheer, Timi. But the post was meant to reflect back on you, which I’m glad to see it did. I certainly see the impact of your writing.

      By the way,
      *I should’ve added SLeeP-DepriVation to the profile on those who make a difference*

  38. Like your about page, the inaugural post on my blog had a life of it’s own, and it’s demand to be heard by more than just myself is what led me to start blogging in the first place. it was an essay about my life with the rare genetic condition of NF2. And since my blog has gone live, I’d like to think I’m rising through the ranks of the “NF2 tribe;” people who, by virtue of living with a disease that only affects one out of every 25,000 people, have turned to the internet to feel like they belong somewhere. Part of what’s making that possible is that much more than writing about my health woes or most recent medical procedure, I write about a wide array of topics, and show other NF2 patients that their life does not have to be defined by their disease. I guess that’s the context of my leadership. (I also try to spread awareness of NF2 [neurofibromatosis type-2], in case you’ve never heard of it)

    Thanks for such a thought-provoking post, Diana.

    1. The Race Around the World and the follow-up series on (not) belonging have helped me see more clearly how we each seek our own tribe where we can make our unique home while wanting to connect over similarities and commonalities with the masses.

      Yes, that IS the context of your leadership, your compass set North. You know why you’re out here and you’ve drawn the battlelines with the part of you that others would allow defeating self-talk out of. Appreciate all you shared on this post and thanks for the support – new here, and among my MVRs already (Most Valued Reader).

  41. Thanks for noticing my blog. I read some of your comments about how liberating the web is as far self-publishing, but I never hear people talking about how hard self-editing is! Some folks desperately need editing, and we forget how many really classic writers– like Mark Twain– were helped extraordinarily by their editors. You seem to be doing OK!

  42. Thanks for following my blog. I love the variety in all your articles. I particularly enjoyed the one of leadership. I think it should add that leaders do challenge the status quo and generally persecution finds them because of it. I think they are born seekers or something in their experience of life has compelled them to stand up when others are comfortable to observe from the side lines. Definitely, commitment and connection are part of their resume, but I would add…courage. It is not always a courage we see, but one that can appear to be silent and yet like the flower that pushes itself between the cracks of the concrete sidewalk to find its way to the sunlight…leaders, whether obvious or almost unnoticeable in the crowd, connect all those who connect with them into that same sunlight. I don’t know that leaders are elected, but I think their courage is contagious and helps others to jump hurdles they thought were insurmountable. Thanks for blogging and doing the same for others.

    1. I certainly appreciate the rich, thoughtful response. Love how you draw out the courage implied in the post. I think what encouraged me about the Ted Talk was that those of us who are not born-anything (seekers, leaders) now have a shot out here. Our voice can carry reaches farther than was possible in the past. And then the note on perseverance, that even in life outside the cyberworld we can still make in impact if we don’t give up. Certainly takes boldness to stake new ground, esp on higher planes. I love how you point out courage is contagious. Blogging really rides this dynamic, as we succeed by helping others to. As to the varied offerings on this blog, I like to have something for everyone. =) Thx for your time.

      HW

  43. Hello from my world to yours…another thought provoking post on leadership…maybe this thing called leadership is in our blood…with my girls never really firmly (directed) on leadership…it seemed to come out of them like they were born to lead. I think the internet has made it so much easier to reach more people…yet when we can inspire without enthusiasm that is a rare event…You encourage all people to participant in their lives whether it be on the internet or in person.

    Sometimes intellectual leadership can get in the way of social leadership. You used the example of Bill Gates, with a wife who is 100 percent engaged as well,..they can lead together as she has more social skill than him. The X, Y and Z generation like my daughters think its cool that I blog… (be it only 4 months) …yet I think once I started it…it has become a way to connect, and like you said, “feel missed when we are not around”

    I think leaders like me can also have a desire to run away and live on a mountain top as well, never to see the internet (or my patients) again. My youngest daughter is a programmer for IBM and I pray that the internet never takes over her life, so that her social life and person to person contacts remain intake.

    I never understood when someone said I am bored… as leaders we are always up to something!….The leadership of raising children, is probably the greatest leadership of all. Maybe we do not know the word stop! Ha! Heart to Heart Robyn

    1. Can you clarify, Robyn?
      “yet when we can inspire without enthusiasm that is a rare event”

      You bring in different angles as always. That is a wise concern about your daughter. Balance is health – in all things – and what I’ve been puzzling through the past year on this blog is the way high achievers keep it going, because something’s got to give. A wise leader who knows to balance his, her own life will be a gem. Just love your definition of parenting, the greatest leadership of all. =) Thanks for being here.

      Diana

      1. Hi Diana…to clarify about inspiring without enthusiasm…some have such an incredible gift to give the world, yet they may not have the social skills to gain
        ( enthusiasm)..yet leadership is still maintained.as others become inspired despite the leaders lack of social skills.

        Balance can be the most challenging of all for leaders to maintain mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health. I ask myself daily…where can I improve today.

        To maintain lack of arrogance (ego) as a driving force behind leadership is rare as well…this may be where spiritual balance helps… stepping out of the ” material gains” becomes.. How can I assist? and material gains become secondary..as we give back..

        This is an area my girls have balanced themselves in, Their focus becomes their contribution,…yet maintaining very well paid positions..I ask myself all the time..what illusions am I believing about my small ego self that stop me or others…

        You are amazing on your blog to “keep your ego out of it”

        We are blessed to have the internet to even entertain reaching so many people all over the world…I feel I have a whole other life going on…maybe that’s what scientists call parallel universes… when we step into our internet life.. Ha!!
        Much Love to You Heart to Heart Robyn

      2. Ah – got it as soon as you started explaining. =)

        “To maintain lack of arrogance (ego) as a driving force behind leadership is rare as well…this may be where spiritual balance helps…”

        Excellent.

        You’re a gem for checking in with yourself to see how your ego might be posting a stumbling block to yourself or others. If only we’d all do that.

        Your girls shOuld be compensated the worth of their contributions. It pleases me so to see the fruit of all your love and labor in them.

  45. I think that the freedom to express myself as I please is what opened me up to the world of blogging when it did. I entered this unexplored realm with no idea on if or how to make my presence felt. All I knew was that I wanted to express myself in as authentic, vulnerable, and emotional way as I could. I admit that I was attracted to the “numbers” when I began. It was alluring and addictive, and not in a good way. I have since begun writing for myself, letting whatever is coursing through my veins out into the open. It is easy to do thanks to the technology available to us. It is safe. I can “hide” behind my words. If someone doesn’t like what I write, they don’t feel obligated to read it or comment on it. The one unexpected thing that I have discovered as a part of this whole process is something Seth brings up. In the end, we are all connected. And writing allows me to forge some of those connections with individuals around me. It is amazing. It is magical. It was an continues to be a life-altering experience for me. Money and fame may never come from it, but it is what lights the fire within and that is richer than any fame or fortune can possibly provide 😉

    1. Hey, thanks for the glimpse into your blogging journey, Dave. So glad this resonated with you. And the numbers can be good, help us track our growth. They’re what we choose to make of them – as with anything good or bad in life. =) Appreciate your time.

      Diana

  47. I find your read very interesting. I hate telephone contact or speaking through closed doors. I need to see the person I’m communicating with because we express ourselves with facial communication far more than we realise.

    Our communication in the virtual world using the written word open’s windows of understanding; you may never meet or see the person you’re communicating with but Like our facial communication expressing ourselves using text says much more about ourselves when we’re not speaking about ourselves

    1. I’m a bit confused; your second paragraph seems to contradict the first. :/
      I guess you mean the printed word is a different matter, that without the aural element, we can really express what we want to…?

      1. Because of head injuries I had to learn to live with confusion can be my middle name (sorry) What I was trying to say was “you talk face to face you see expressions that give away your feelings” when you’re involved in communicating with written text “but honest text” and because most of us speak highly of ourselves; you give yourself away when writing about how you feel or think of others. Please let me know if I’ve confused the issue further

      3. I’m fine Diana I have to run after 6 grandkids so I’m kept active and articulate in my thinking 🙂 I just get a little muddled when I try to express myself 😀

  49. It is great to interact with other people, get to know them a little bit, find encouragement and appreciation. However, I don’t think it is that important how big the numbers are. It is very helpful for business to spread the word out, but I mostly love those very insightful personal responses and that people have been really reading the post. You have a lot of followers, and it is a nice blog, I enjoy following it, too. Good luck!

    1. Nice to hear from you. Doesn’t have to be one or the other. The great thing about blogging is the potential for both quantity and quality. =) But yes, quality has always been my priority — because to every one who has decided to support this blog it doesn’t really matter what my numbers are. Each visit should be worth your time. =)

My Two Gold Cents in the Holistic Treasury