The question is one of roots and shoots; where we come from, what we’ve sprouted from that. What is the best nonmaterial gift you ever received from Mom? I wonder what T will answer as a grown man. There is no way he could ever be grateful enough for all I pour into him with my body, heart, and mind. Much of mothering will remain unsung. So goes our job description:
Hours – Overtime
Pay – The joy in the labor
Must be taken for granted
But what part of it will have impressed itself most deeply upon his consciousness when he is ready to build his own life?
At a restaurant one night with a friend way back, I realized in the talking and sharing just how much the affirmation from my parents – especially my mother – rooted me deeply and well in life. The extent to which her genuine verbal confidence in me has rippled throughout my life and relationships became startingly clear.
A Holistic Journey 
1. Love – the sacrificial and self-emptying type that knows no bounds and grieves in jealously & pain when not understood or appreciated. Unconditional in quality, zealous in nature, steadfastness in manner.
2. Truth – now as a grown man, I received the gift of her deepest truths confirming a never before experienced level of bestowed trust. Intimate secrets now shared, revealed in stunning candor, despite being harbored so long for fear of rejection, dejection, and anguish. As well as fears of my misunderstanding, abusing, or retaliating in response to those personally authentic truths
What more could I ask for, what more could I need…
Jealousy and pain can stem from fear. Thanks for sharing so honestly.
I’m only 18, but even if I’m not quite an adult on my own, I’ve never ever doubted (at least as a teenager) everything she has given me as a stay at home, homeschooling mom.
I think my mother is an incredible woman of Faith- I’ve heard stories from her experiences as a young Christian, the problems she faced and how The Lord pulled her through- but as I’ve grown older I’ve gone through situations along side her, and seen her faith lived out. I don’t think I have the gift of faith like she does, but I do think she’s given me an incredible example that I’ve grown with and have been able to apply.
Also parenting, which is kind of funny considering I’m no where near having kids of my own; but I’ve seen her parent my sisters and myself, and looked back on situations where I may have been upset over her disciplinary actions, but now I know it was for the best, and I’m glad she did it the way she did. But now I’m the babysitter that parents fear because I have to keep my mouth shut if I feel like they’re messing up their child.
I’m a firsthand example on things done right…. Not that I’m perfect though 😉
Thank god for parents who take criticism, or the ones who let me nurture their kids along side them!
I’m realizing this PLACE where we’ve gathered is an opportunity for tribute to our mothers.
The question posed is interesting. How does one accurately describe the level of influence of the person who brought me into existence. My mother taught me not only the basics of life but also some of the intricacies. To love, to forgive, to try just a little bit harder and to be happy with what you have…these are all a good foundation to a Godly life, but there is one thing in particular that immediately popped into my head when the question was posed (and I would classify this as an intricacy indeed): humor.
My mother taught me how to laugh. She taught me how to be the butt of a joke. She taught me how to turn a “bad” into a “not-so-bad.” She taught me how to enjoy life for what it is and sometimes…to just let it go.
There is beauty in simplicity and there are few things in life that require less, and provide more, than laughter. And for that I am well taught! For that I give my thanks…and pass on a big wiggly fingered thumb to the nose for your beautiful loving heart.
There is beauty in simplicity and there are few things in life that require less, and provide more, than laughter.
Agreed. Laughter is profound, while simple. Hope you verbalized this appreciation to the great teacher.
love. loving me without being loved in return. thoughtfulness. always making sure i have eaten well during the day and still giving me groceries til this day!!! and most of all DEEP PATIENCE. she has taught me that one doesn’t need to have the loudest voice or to have the last word to make a valid point.
The food is HUGE. I decided recently that the day my son really gets all I’ve put into his food – day in, day out – is when his gratitude will take depth. The thought and time in the kitchen can be tremendous. “she has taught me that one doesn’t need to have the loudest voice or to have the last word to make a valid point.” Love it.
My mother has given me many gifts throughout the years. But, one of the gifts that I truly appreciate is the way she has taught me to love God. God is very important to me and what I truly appreciate is that I have learned to love my religion and that I accept its teachings. Since I was a child my mother always took me to mass and as I have been growing up going to church and being involved in so many things is more than something I am used to because I grew up being involved with many church-related events, but it has become a great part of my life. It is one of the things that defines me. Knowing who God is and why He is important in my life has been the greatest gift my mother has ever given me 🙂
Please take heart that He has you in His grip through the hard times and His nail-scarred hands heal. Thanks so much for the thoughtful comment.
My mother gave me the knowledge that even as a mom it’s okay to take time for myself and the ability to laugh! Great post! Thanks for sharing it on the Ladies Only Blog Share!
Her wisdom’s kept you sane, I’m sure. =) Thanks for the props. And neat blog you got, there. =)
My mother’s selflessness then and now is unparalleled. She raised me in such a way that I wanted to be around her and still want to be around her. She is truly a beautiful person. I just posted about 10 Lessons I Learned from Her. Mothers. Can’t beat ’em. I hope my daughter says and thinks great things about me someday.
I lOve the O’Mara quote! And that Mom’s your homegirl. =) Thanks for piping in. That just rocks how her love and character still draw you to her. Your passion for all things Mom overflows on your blog.
ciao! love is the greatest force on earth…my mother gave me unconditional love. your post is just so thought provoking and inspiring.
thebestdressup
Thank you for the kind support. That is why poets and sages across history have attempted to capture LOVE in words, right? CS Lewis said we delight to praise that which we love…the expression is the consummation of our delight.
I’d have to say faith for me, and a love for music. But I like the others on the list too, especially looking for a man with a good heart, no matter how long it takes.
Yes, no matter how long…. =)
We share the love of music our mothers bequeathed to us. =)
My mom taught me to never stay silent. Choose your battles, but if you believe in something or you feel like you are being ignored or treated poorly, stand up for yourself. People will come and go in your life, but you have only yourself in the end. Do you like the company you keep when no one else is around?
Love the last line. Glad you piped in. =) I realized we’re giving voice to our mothers here….
wow, where can I begin? Unconditional love… Even though she had six other children, she made each one of us feel special.
I think women grow limbs and their heart expands the more kids and things they have to tend to!
This is a great post…so nice to read about all of the love between mothers and their children. A very special bond!
http://justanotherdigitaldiary.wordpress.com/2013/05/16/musings-on-gratitude/
Thanks. It’s a wonderful tribute to our mothers.
This is a beautiful post. I love too many things about my mom! But one thing I’ve been appreciating a lot lately is that she never criticized me — not on my appearance, thoughts, opinions (even when they were honestly quite stupid — I’m not sure how she bit her tongue!), eating habits….She just loves me.
Thanks for the feedback. Love what you shared. Remarkable of her. I don’t think I’m far off the mark in saying she will be the only to have/loved you like that. I know our hubbies love us. But something about a mother….
My mum was my best friend as I became an adult and we shared a deep understanding of one and other. I sought her advice and input on life and especially appreciated her wisdom, love and support when I had my two boys and felt overwhelmed. She was a lady who generously gave herself to those around her, and had a huge capacity to love. She gave me her time and I have so many happy memories of times spent with her.
Her final lesson and the most important thing that I think she gave to me was how to cope facing the death of a loved one. Even though she must have been scared and deeply sad, (as she only had six weeks between diagnosis and her passing) she was still more concerned for those around her. She explained that in order to deal with her illness and subsequent death, I MUST accept it. She was right, I avoided the ‘why her’ questions and feeling sorry for us, as we are all mortal. Instead I accepted that this was HER journey and endeavoured to support, love and care for her as best as I could. This was a huge lesson for me and I now feel more equipped moving forwards in my life to cope with death when it next rears its ugly head. I miss her very much but I still feel her around us, with the love she showered, the life lessons she taught and the memories we will always carry with us. Thank you for this opportunity to pay tribute to my lovely Mum, Pat. x
SARAH. I got chills. Every word, weighty and hard-earned, shines your mother’s wisdom and beauty. The acceptance is huge. You just reminded me thAt is the point over which I’ve tripped and gotten stuck so many times in life. I LOVE how the acceptance has freed you to live. It makes us humble, doesn’t it? Having to bow to things we cannot control. All my appreciation. Fondly, Diana
What a lovely post. My Mom passed away a little over a year ago and she was 90 years old. We were 40 years apart, as I have two older sisters in their sixties. I’m the baby. 🙂 Sometimes, that big gap was challenging, as I chose different paths than my sisters. They were all good, but different and my Mom and Dad were both very old fashioned about things, which is understandable.
However, all in all, she taught me unconditional love, not being afraid to show emotions, creativity (she was a wonderful seamstress, baker and cook). I never took on sewing, but I’m pretty good at baking and my creativity stems from the pen! She taught me to not settle for a man less than deserving of me and I did find him 24 years ago.
She was a beautiful woman, a wonderful mother, who would do anything for her three girls and it’s still hard this day to realize that her physical presence is absent. It’s hard seeing Dad miss her, he still drives at 93! They were married almost 67 years and together, though, for about 70.
She taught me patience, as they corresponded for 3 years via letter writing while Dad was overseas. When he was discharged, they planned their wedding in 10 days and the rest is history. Anyway, I miss her, my sisters miss her, but we hold her close in our hearts and there’s not a day that goes by without thinking of her and her giving and caring heart.
Thanks so much for listening to a little family history and giving me another opportunity to pay tribute to Mom. I also appreciate you following my blog and I will do the same. I actually thought I was already following, but I’ve had some issues here, so who knows.. 🙂 Take care, Lauren
I am blown away by her story. 70 years with one man! I am happy to share in your heartwarming history, Lauren. Thanks — and I’m glad it pleased you to talk of her here. And no, I don’t have you subscribed. Blessings, Diana
Glad you enjoyed their story and I’m now following you, Diana! It’s very nice to meet you, too! 🙂
A beautiful post. Part of the epitaph I wrote on her tombstone says “She gave all to those she loved.” That about sums it up.
I’m so glad to know that about you and your mother, Malcolm. Precious. You know, my blog started taking off with this post.
I’m late on this but I’d say the greatest gift my mother has given me is the the boldness to be left-of- center and free-spirited (when I’m not uptight, that is. What an oxymoron). Now I wonder what’s the greatest gift she’d say I gave to HER!
Ha ha HA. We don’t get to ask that. ‘Cuz as a mom, I can tell you we do WAY more than we get back lol. Love what you shared.
One day I will take that giant leap for womankind and ask her. If she doesn’t like my asking, I can tell her it’s her fault for making me too free-spirited, LOL!!!
LOL Oh boy, aren’t you a sass? LOL
Btw, you’re not late.
I plan to repost this sometime – prolly next Mother’s Day. =)