We don’t see it’s really
sand beneath our feet.
We draw noise and light
and words over the untidy
fear of our last sun.
What will remain of the
demands I have made,
the accolade, the love
I have given, the grief
I have drunk, the hours
I have written
riven by loss, borne back
in battle, visited by
seasons of joy that robbed
me of language?
When the plans and pages
that had filled my life flutter
to the floor like careless leaves
On sure ground will I return
this borrowed breath
the sonatas I have performed,
the dreams I have played will be
— I will see – but a note
I surrender for a new song.
A Holistic Journey 
‘When the plans and pages that had filled my life flutter to the floor like careless leaves…’ then, ‘I surrender for a new song’. Oh Diana, you are one gifted writer and the beauty of this poem leaves me singing the music of your new song, to which you have surrendered. So beautiful.
Thanks so much for the specific feedback, Sherri. I sure appreciate your audience. Love, Diana
🙂 x
Simply lovely. I, too, was moved by the “like careless leaves simile.”
I must say, I love having you here, Navigator.
A mutual sentiment, as I do enjoy my visits.
Beautiful..!! It just naturally flows.
Much like a river naturally flowing to it’s mother ocean. Alluring..
Wonderfully written.
The type of poem I wish I could write. Beautiful imagery!
How sweet, Pat. Thank you.
Thank you for taking the time on such rich feedback, Mr. C. You’ve given such wonderful support.
Perfect, almost like some kind of long-form haiku; the same sentiment is there.
Thank you! “Perfect”? Can’t get better than that. Go figure…I’d planned on visiting, when time allowed. I like the new avatar: clearer smile. =)
Beautiful words and heartbreaking imagery
Thank you. I hate to break your heart
But I know I haven’t done lasting damage. Big hug.
No, what you did was beautifully insightful
=) I’m so happy you dropped in.
I’m doing my best to check in now and then, thank you for your contribution to the blogosphere, I enjoy visiting 🙂
“But a note” captures the essence of your beautiful poem for me, Diana. The time spent worrying about our legacy is like so many of the other worries we devote our lives to. It is time better spent living in the simplicity of the moment. The sound and fury becomes a whisper and then it fades away. –Curt
I feel so blessed for your enriching thoughts, Curt. You caught me at an emotional moment, actually. I mean right now. I will say it again and again how grateful I am for those who take the time here and let me know how something deep from my person speaks into their story.
Another beautiful poem Diana. Your muse touches and inspires mine! I loved the phrases like “but a note,” and “flutter to the floor like careless leaves” which pierces me with sadness for my own lost dreams and plans. I hope Curt is right about living the moment and not worrying about the legacy.
Hey Brad, do feel free anytime to point me to any post of yours that happened to have been inspired from the Holistic Journey. — though there is absolutely no expectation of or obligation of anything to present me. Of course ambivalence attends my feelings on your response. It is a tremendous honor, as a writer, to be able to pierce someone’s spirit like that – while of course we hate to evoke emotions that hurt. As to worry, well there is just such an abundance of things to worry about, and the energy expended changes not an iota of anything.
Lovely to read this, thanks for sharing. Have a wonderful day and a great week. 🙂
Thanks so much for the good word, Jane. See you back on your board — when I can. =)
Thanks so much and I look forward to seeing you again soon to. 🙂
Beautiful, Diana! I know poetry is always open to interpretation via the reader’s own filter– to me I am experiencing in your words new grounding and a letting go of impermanence to welcome what’s next. Love this – “What will remain of the
demands I have made,
the accolade, the love
I have given, the grief
I have drunk, the hours
I have written”
Oohhh, thanks Diahann. What an interpretive response.
And yet, I hear a permanence to the remains of our lives in this:
On sure ground will I return
this borrowed breath
the sonatas I have performed,
the dreams I have played will be
– I will see – but a note
Note nothing, but a note – something definite. There has to be a lasting element to our passing moments. Without that hope the demands, accolades, love, grief and hours are left meaningless.
What I hear in your writing is a breath of the mystery of life itself, Diana. You somehow manage to capture the mysterious in a unique way that moves your readers – as clearly communicated by the comments.
Thanks for sharing your rare take on the world around you. You bless us. -C
Ours is sure ground, JF. Let us rejoice! “I hear in your writing..a breath of the mystery of life itself.” I am blown away. I am honored.
Grateful you continue our relationship. Will pray for you and the context of “those events” this season.
Love, Diana
great lyrics, thank you
I love the phrase “careless leaves.” I can just imagine them, shrugging off their fall, knowing that all will be well in the end.
“knowing that all will be well in the end.” I love your positive outlook. Not everyone would see such a knowing at the end of the fall. Thank you for your time here.
Beautiful , simply beautiful poem. Groetjes, Francina
Thanks, F. I’m glad you’re well enough to resume blogging. I’d stopped by earlier to see how you’re doing.
Thank you, it’s good to be back at blogging even it’s a little restricted yet 🙂
You write of looking forward to a new song. This poem is, of course, itself a song: there’s a musicality in the lines – and in its content it is, essentially, a hymn.
John S, you caught my eye with feedback like that. Said the magic word, something I never would have attributed to my work but love through and through: HYMN. You not only impelled me to a revisit of your thoughtful work, but convinced me to follow.
D your amazingly complex, you write poetry too!!! I’ve always thought about doing it but not sure I can. Maybe you’ve inspired me to try. Very nice. Shazza.
Shazza, I don’t believe you’ve seen how I came to pick up the poetry again:
https://aholisticjourney.wordpress.com/2013/07/04/bereft-poetry-reborn/
We can do so much for one another out here. GO FOR IT.
I will check it out and read it today. I wanted to ask you, if you ever see the movie 12 Years A Slave, let me know what you thought about the movie I would love to hear or read your perspective on it. I know you’re not avid movie watcher but if you do let me know. I’m such a perfectionist it will take me a while to actually post a poem but I’m going to work on it.
He he he – Shazza, you know me!! You make me let out the secret that slavery is my next subtopic in the GREATNESS series. I’ve been trying to go see it! Eyeing this wknd…..am just incredibly busy. The movie happened to come out at a time I was going to write on the subject (had planned to two months back).
You know how I knew that about you? Because you’re a deep thinker, I can tell by your writing style. Wow, how interesting. We are becoming fast friends D, by the way is ok if I call you D? LOL. Ok, I will wait for you response on D before I call you that again. Diana, I’m truly glad you found me here, what a Joy!!! Shazza or Sharon is my real name. PS go see the movie and bring tissue.
I’m loving the rhythms of this piece. “Careless leaves” That’s killer.
Thanks, Lucas. Nice to have you here. I hope the Nov plans you determined to tend to are seeing light.
Those last two stanzas are truly amazing! The sentiment of nostalgia and it’s cruel demand we live life as it always was really resonated with me.
Thank you so much for the generous, meditative feedback.
Bravo! So deep, very intense…”I have drunk the hours…,.”, I love that as a writer!
Thanks for the faithful cheer, D.
So welcome 🙂
Friend ~ questions are usually the answers we can’t decipher or like a rubicon needs to be searched out, and patiently wait. A composition composed by your seeking soul! Brilliantly written ! Faithfully Debbie
very beautiful song lyric
Thanks so much for all the support. =)
Good gracious, you are sooooo goooood. Love the very last line. It feels like enjoying the moment even with a sort of pressure, or doing it for the last time. It looks like you are a one of a kind writer for me.
Now, this comment is REALLY welcome LOL. Thanks so much for all the specific feedback. You are one helpful reader! =) Diana
I think your poem is excellent as it is and needs no corrections. I can feel what you have asked me to feel. That is what a good poem does.
Perhaps I’m reading your feedback with a magnifying lens. At least I’m taking it seriously. Hmmm. You feel what I have asked you to feel… interesting. I’m wondering if I ask readers to feel what I did at the time of writing, or free them up to the feelings that their own background experiences provide in the reading.
Probably both. No need to respond. I appreciate your time.
You are absolutely welcome, at any time, to provide constructive criticism where you observe room for improvement.
🙂 If I ever feel I can help you become a better writer, I will be there for you as I know you will for me. It could also be that I was just feeling the same as you when you wrote the poem. I think we are at least a little bit alike.
♥ Lovely & honest Song Diana 🙂
Thanks. I can’t always guarantee the lovely but I am always
honest.
=)
It’s beautiful how you used music (song) as a metaphor to life. I love how you captured this state of awakening into the reality of letting go in order to move on to the next stage. Beautiful, Dianna! Beautifully penned!
Quite appreciate the thoughtful feedback. Thx for lending depth to my work.
Diana
From sand to sure ground; one is shifting, one a rock. That’s a hallelujah song we embrace!
AmEn!
Poet A+
LOL So very sweet. Very.
Writing about death is not easy and the pitch in this was perfect. Not melancholy, but aware. Beautiful.
You’re amazing. Perfect pitch, eh? I’m grateful for the thoughtful, well articulated feedback, my friend.
Love,
Diana
We live on in those we touch and in those they touch. We live on in our genetic make up. And, being writers, we live on in our words. And just maybe, we live on in the great beyond. Each moment is precious. –Curt
You wrote a post. =) Talk about beautiful. I love the first line. Makes me think of how I’m reaping the sweet fruit of my mother’s hard investment in my piano and the lessons, that I can teach her grandson his music. Thanks for the light of your wisdom, my friend.
As always, you are welcome, D. –Curt
Beautiful! Such a twinge of sadness with plans & pages fluttering to the floor ~ but only to be given a great, full breathe of fresh air with your search for yet another song…
Thanks for reflecting back to me what you saw and heard here, Randall. Appreciate your time.
Reblogged this on frijasroxanne.
Absolutely beautiful, and just a little bit sad. Thank-you for sharing.
Grateful for your audience, D.
Diana
Another wonderful poem. “I surrender for a new song” What a last line, that gave me the shivers. Vulnerability, bravery and courage all in that short phrase. A new song? A new beginning then. As Curt touched upon in the comments, worrying doesn’t really get us far. Sure, dwelling on what we’ve done we might realise a lesson or two somewhere. But sometimes we really just have to forget about our worries and fears in order to start the next chapter, and basically move on.
Looking forward to the next poem, D 🙂
I appreciate the thoughtful feedback, M. Since you mention the next poem, I don’t think it’ll be a while. I did post this alongside A New Song – here it is just to help you get to it more efficiently. No obligation to comment here or there. =) Thanks so much for the read.
https://holisticwayfarer.com/2014/11/03/autumn-raiment/
This is such a beautiful piece, I’m glad I stopped by.
Thanks. =)
i am in awe of your words…
So very sweet, Aleya. Thanks so much.
Xxx
D.
Your blog inspires me.
Aw, thanks, Jean. So much, for the good word.
And thanks so much for the follow. =)