A Boy’s Love on the Landing

When he walked in this evening, Daddy wanted to take his boy to the park.  As I changed Little Man on the landing, he wrapped himself around my neck and kissed me.  He smiled, “I will never let you go.”

My eyes smarted.landing1

The sacredness of the moment hurt – a swelling tight at the edges. I was thrown forward to the day time will have run out on us, make me let go my son with the borrowed breath.

“Someday you will have to,” I said quietly. A weak smile back, and we puckered for two more wet kisses.

I squeezed those little fingers down the rest of the steps.

91 thoughts on “A Boy’s Love on the Landing

    • Oh, thanks for making your way to it. “This touched my heart.” It’s something I plan to write about in the writing process I’m on… Why we read, why we write. I find it one of the greatest rewards and compliments a greater can enjoy, to know his, her work landed in the reader’s heart – and hopefully spoke to her own story. I enjoyed your blog and hoped to be back – when I’ve come out from under two blogs, homeschooling, and dishes. Xxxx Diana

  1. I had a moment with my 20 month old daughter a couple of days ago when I was watching something on tv and she was asleep in my lap. The drama was pretty lame but the heroine so to speak was a good actor so I kept watching She was beyond miserable in her married life. At that point I just looked at my daughter and I felt so scared! Tears welled up as I made a solemn prayer to God to always, always protect her from harm. It was just one of those moments.

    • Wow…even your grandbaby’s grown. Our boy is shooting up like a beanstalk before our eyes. Everyone comments on how tall he is. I realized my mother was younger than I am now in some of the photos I have. Gee…

      • It goes so fast! I look at pictures with my grandson hugging me, cuddled up to watch tv. and he won’t do that now. I remember my daughter when she was about 11 saying she was always going to live in our house. “But what if you get married?”: she said, “He’ll have to come live here.” Her father and I divorced when she was 14 and even today at almost 33 she is not too pleased with her mom.

        But if it’s any consolation my children hugged and cuddled until their late teens. I would make a midnight snack for my son at 18 and he insisted I sit on his bed while he watched a movie. I lied in bed with my daughter when she was pregnant (single mom) almost every night watching Law & Order before she fell asleep. So treasure the moments, there are others to come, just a little different:)

  2. And life is comprised of such poignant, simple, all-important moments. In a split second such moments can be missed, and be gone, if we are not tuned in to them – the stuff that matters – giving the rich attention to the event that it deserves. Every parent shall share your thoughts and feelings 🙂

  3. Just lovely, Diana. I get those moments with my boys, and I am learning to cherish them, being present to them and putting them away in my memory bank. There will come a day when my boys won’t ask me to tickle them or “do kisses” (that’s where I roughhouse and kiss them a lot), so even when I am tired, I will do it. What they don’t know is that I do it more for me than I do for them 🙂

    Thank you – beautiful post to read this morning.

    Blessings,
    Paul

    • “What they don’t know is that I do it more for me than I do for them.”
      Niiice. Actually, you guys are jump-starting my own morning, sending me off with the fuzzies and a clarity above the tiredness that would’ve trumped appreciation for what is asked of me as a mother today. Thanks for the precious glimpse through your family window and your heart, Paul.

  4. Thank you again. Your life with your “special needs” child is so precious, and in God’s wisdom those who are labeled “imperfect” pierce the walls we build around our hearts and deepen our ability to love in a more powerful way than we believed possible, as you shared in this moment. Bless you and your family.

    • I sure appreciate the blessing. But my son is not “special needs”. =) I’m not sure where you got that. I guess I should write more clearly! =) If anything, he made his drum debut when he turned 5 and memorized about 400 facts in all the subject areas when he was six. =)

      • As soon as I pressed SEND I realized I had read MY LIFE into your words… You bring that out in me! Your writing truly touches my heart… and in this case your reader read herself into your script!

        But once I saw that, couldn’t call the electrons back…
        I was blessed with one “special” and one “much brighter than average” child, and memories of special times from both color my perceptions.

      • *Big smile* Awesome that you read yourself into my script. I’ve written on that, how we read as well as listen autobiographically. But that’s really my mission on the Holistic Journey, to hold up a mirror – so that I’m not just talking about myself. Warms my heart to know you immediately thought of your precious children. Thanks for being here.

      • The “borrowed breath” led me down that rabbit trail, by the way….

      • You are an amazing person, very gracious. To keep it short, my eldest has survived and grown into manhood- he is now 31 years old, healthy and VERY independent. But from birth to around 6 yrs it was a struggle to believe he would grow, let alone survive, he has a rare chromosome abnormality. He needed daily injections of growth hormone for 13 years… and he tested me every step of the way! But I learned so much about love in the process.
        Only since I started this blog experience have I given my self permission to “feel” and let memories like these surface again.
        Just getting through day to day was so challenging back then.
        Guess it’s time I can finally breathe! And let them in! Thanks for the assist, if unintentional!

      • Unbelievable. I cannot tell you how mind-blowing it’s been to tap open stories from bloggers. Oh what a challenge for you. How your son has turned out is a tremendous testament to your labor of love. Why not write about those days?

        Xxx
        Diana

  5. Lovely moment, written in a way that touches every mother’s heart, I am sure. I did touch mine. Made me think of the day (not long ago) my little one asked me if he can live with us as long as he wanted… like, forever? I told him that the day will come when he will want to leave, live on his own. He looked at me with eyes that just could not imagine wanting to do anything that stupid…. 😉

    • “with eyes that just could not imagine wanting to do anything that stupid….” LOL!

      As I said in response to Curt here, (on second thought) I’m not sure we’ll want them with us ’til they’re 35. Ha ha ha.

      But the talk with your little one absolutely brought to mind those talks with my son. His eyes would grow wide and he’d shake his head that no, he will not marry and leave me.

      HA. *S what you say, ’til the pretty woman comes ’round!*

  6. Oh, so beautiful!… You should write more about your son. Write down everything: the way he talks, the way he eats, what he says, the way he smells, the way he sounds, the way he sleeps, the way he plays and loves, his jokes, his words, everything. Soon, he is going to go to college and your house will be empty. Time flies. Believe me, I know what I’m talking about. 🙂

    • I, actually, have a post Words Between Mom and Boy, from last year. =) Did pretty well, too. All to say it apparently reached grown-up hearts. Just last night I added to my journal list of things he said. VeBaLLy enjoying his dinner, “Mom, I’m an expert at eating.” LOL! I hope to give him the list when he’s a young man. WAHHH!!

      Xxxx
      Diana

  7. It is good we all have a place to tell these moments. It is good we have others to comment lest we miss the moments ourselves.
    It is good that we all feel this in others.
    Nice posting.

  8. Yes. Whenever our 5 yr old tells me randomly how much he misses/loves me. Or the days when he won’t let me leave cause he doesn’t want to let go. I wonder. When will it turn?
    Have you heard Darius Rucker’s “It won’t be like this for long?” Listen to it when you get a chance.

  9. Oh, what a precious and sentimental moment…and that staircase looks so much like ours in our previous home..lovely post and one I can relate to years ago. My children are older, but still around, off and on, between college and I’m still sentimental. 🙂

  10. Beautiful moment to be cherished, for sure. Thank you for sharing, Diana. (Strange but I didn’t get a notice about this post, just happened to check your blog cuz it had felt like awhile.)

    • Sweet of you to chk in and to read, D. Thx for taking a moment. Summer’s getting busier than I’m honestly happy about with all the extracurriculars I’m taking my boy to. This was a repost of one of my earlier pieces – since the majority of you didn’t see. I’m finding it’s hit and miss with email notifications on reposts. Some get them, some don’t.

      Xxx

  11. Simultaneously poignant and uplifting–like the veritable emotional thunderstorm that mothering so often is. How wise of you to savor the moments as fully as you can, Diana. Thank you and enjoy….xoxo

    • When puberty strikes… it’s that bull in the china closet that changes the boy to an adolescent. From there you will feel the alienation. I have two sons; wonderful men, but they do not hug me these days.

      • Well, hope is my lifeline in all things. What you share is what grew up expecting of seeing in teens and young adults but I actually know of homeschool boys who turn out differently. Thanks for the heads-up, though. I will brace myself.

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