Facebook Phobia: Rehab

I sat down with a dear friend in her backyard this morning. The kids were starting their fun and we settled to catch up. Before I knew what was happening, my tech-savvy, happily tech-dependent friend laid out how easy it was going to be to GET ME ON FACEBOOK that moment. It was not the first time Tera had encouraged this recluse to join civilization. Nor has she been the only one. But this time my death grip on the comfort of simpler, slower times let up despite itself as she reasoned how quick it will be to snap a photo of me and jump-start my profile. She sounded so disarming. The import of my capitulation didn’t bear so heavily on me. I warned her I take few solo shots and when I do, run 20 to delete 19.Β  A blur of sixty shots later, we had done it. Indeed it was effortless and it was torture. I clutched my heart over a deep prick of pain. Tera chuckled. She cheerfully, so patiently picked out with me The One photo I okayed with hesitation.

My reluctance to Facebook has not been just about the hermit in me. Yes, I blog some things personal. But I am writing largely in the quiet of my solitude. I don’t know if I’m ready for the noise of a pajama cocktail party. There’s also the fear, a simple matter of keeping up with the times. Which, according to today’s M.O. means learning technology beyond the level of email. Yes, email is so 90s (and wonderfully so). Glancing at my husband’s Facebook page makes me dizzy. Just so many…buttons..and things going on at once.

I watched in awe as Tera’s fingers flew over her phone. She went on to crop my photo – a whole art studio and tool shed in that device of hers. So many icons on the screen, shapes, a feast of choices as we uploaded my picture.

I recoiled. I was overwhelmed. Facebook was unfamiliar terrain.Β  What technical functions will I have to learn?

Fingers tap danced briefly, and there I was. My smile greeting the masses. We hung the mask that had hid the recluse from the parade of life. In just a handful of clicks, I leapt out of the dark ages of my perceived security into a Brave New World. I am aware that the possibilities for online amity will only make swapping stories more enjoyable. But to put it plainly, change is hard. Congratulate me: a naturalized citizen of social media and of postmodern humanity.

29 thoughts on “Facebook Phobia: Rehab

  1. I have been on Facebook for years, with a regular profile, and though I still have things to learn there I took the plunge with my own writer’s FB Page.

    Don’t freak out, just take it slow and easy, and learn what you can .

  2. Opened an account years ago- got addicted to the farmville game and went hustling for cows and sheep. My missus banned me from it, so I moved onto mafia wars! STAY AWAY or your life will grind to a halt!!!!!!

    • I would ban my guy, too. =) I don’t game, so I doubt it’ll be a problem for me. In fact, I wrote on the effect of technology on the mind, my most beloved series: the Dark Side of Efficiency. I’m just plain lost in FB. Need a GPS in there. Thanks for piping in.

  3. The games are quite addictive. I only remember a few games that got me obsessed the whole day. Right now, I’m glued to Candy Crush!

    One note: Make sure your sharing settings on your Facebook are set to just allow your friends to view. If you’re accessing or updating via your mobile phone, double check! I learnt that there are perverts out there stealing photos!

    Have fun!

    • It’s bc you just joined that I shared the post. I need a GPS in there. I’ve no idea how bloggers keep up their writing AND FB. Wears me out just thinking about it. Thx for the follow. I’d like to stay in touch. Xxxxx

      • Necessary evils from a family standpoint. Definitely not for building an audience. Twitter and WordPress have been really great for that.

      • I do it to them all the time…I’m probably part of the problem. Whoops.

        But they don’t mind and it keeps them informed. They actually ask when I haven’t posted in awhile so that’s nice πŸ™‚ on the whole FB is ridiculous, but so ingrained in social media that it won’t die a quick death, like some supervillain in a comic book it will always be wreaking havoc when we think we’ve killed it for good.

  4. Beautifully written post. I reckon I am Tera II. I live alone and love it, yet I am gregarious and extrovert. My friends and family are scattered around the globe. And I have been in treatment for cancer over the past three years, so cannot always meet people in the physical realm. FB is a happy place for me, because I have made it work for me. I withdraw at times and close down ‘friendships’ when I need to retreat. But it has also brought some wonderful new friends into my life, new experiences and possibilities, support from unexpected quarters and revitalised older or more distant connections. I am in awe of the technology and unafraid.

    • Jet Black, my fav part of your eloquent comment is that you are unafraid.

      I am really happy it’s worked out for you.

      If you have not yet seen, myholistictable.wordpress.com

      I haven’t been able to build it, as this blog ended up trumping it, but I’m glad cancer fighters and people concerned about eating right have found it useful. Chk out the Wonder Years and the How to Eat.

      I would also hope you take protective measures against EMF radiation from your computer since you’re hooked up as you are. Keep an eye out: I’ll be posting on this hopefully in about a month.

  5. I can’t decided if your eventual opinion of the dreaded FB is positive or negative. What I wrote about was most DEFINITELY the latter. I found these Comments very interesting in terms of the number of people, like me, who are entirely alone but content to be so …

    • You are right. I didn’t slant it too strongly negative. I wrote it squeamishly, slugglishly willing to give it a go. As I shared with you, though, I loathe it. Need a GPS in there, besides. Thanks for reading. I related to your sentiments.

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