Car Sale, Memories, Love

Hyundai2001Talk about the close of a long chapter. Today we sold the Hyundai that took me all over California when I forfeited my east coast residency 12 years ago. Since I stopped driving her when we got our minivan several years ago, I haven’t really thought of the sedan as my car. Yesterday Peter sighed that we were about to bid her farewell. I wasn’t sure why he seemed sad. We were glad the Hyundai meant an easier future for someone who’s been carless. But misty-eyed, Peter was looking back, “It’s the silver car I looked out for when we were dating. I never told you this but seeing it come around the corner made my heart flutter and skip tempo, knowing I was going to be with my soon-to-be-wife.”


20 Things I Consider Sacred: Part 1

Someone to walk with as long as you can together, to build a life with. Who sees you at your worst and has vowed to stick around, and encourages you to your best. The ring sealed the vows you made before God and Man, a sacrament of an institution bigger than your best intentions. Because the happily ever after is indeed a fairy tale and you will fail one another miserably. Boundaries in oneness, a mystery.

I grew my son inside my body; the air I breathed and the nourishment I took in were his very life. I died to give him birth. The blood, the impossible pain, all of it just the beginning of the everything I have given my child. No one loves him more.

The Life in the Womb
It’s mind-boggling: a baby is born ready to learn, with 100 billion nerve cells (my son probably has a little more because, according to my husband, the wife-who’s-gotten-dumber-since-giving-birth gave some to Tennyson when he was still inside).  That many neurons – about the number of stars in the Milky Way – in just nine months. A unique person who hears, feels, grasps, kicks and stretches, hidden in the bloom of a woman.  Just how do you go from nothingness to completeness?

Years ago I read somewhere that even loose affiliations serve to mark our place in the world, give us a sense of belonging. But friends are precious, aren’t they? Who am I that people would take pause from their concerns to ask how I am, to pray for me or prepare a gift? There is no pretense between friends. Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person; having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but to pour them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping and then, with the breath of kindness, blow the rest away. George Eliot

The Kiss
You need a relationship to be able to kiss someone but you can’t have a kiss without a relationship. Which is what made Judas’ betrayal of his Lord so twisted. Judas well could’ve just led the Romans to Him, “Here’s your man.”  But Judas chose to plant the kiss, make a mockery of the years he had dined with, talked with, laughed with his Teacher and Friend.

Repining Widow

Peter: A coworker said today that when a couple gets old, the husband usually dies first.  And the wife, heartbroken, often follows within a year.  So…are you going to die a year after me?

Diana (almost snorting): Don’t the wives have children and grandchildren they wanna live for?!

Peter: Ah…I feel the love!

1000 Words After a Hard Day’s Work

Some months back Peter came home and almost studiously repeated what a coworker had said to him. That women have a bucket of 1000 words we need to unload everyday. He strode purposely to the couch. Twelve tired hours from the time he’d left home, my husband reposed and braced himself, inviting me to pour my bucket over him.

Poor man.


Addendum on April 20, 2013:

I’ve gotten annoyed when Peter would interject while I was midsentence.  He explained today that he’s not interrupting, at least not intentionally. According to my husband, when I speak, I do so in chapters. The human audio book he calls Wife prompts a thought in his head and by the time he’s caught a break in the stream, it’s been ten pages. And he’s forgotten what he’d wanted to share.