A simple man, all he had was the dream he would build her with his two hands. I was watching my husband on screen, having agreed to see Brooklyn with no knowledge of what it was about. Tony was a lot like the Mister and I, much like Eilis the contemplative, strait-laced student. But these weren’t the reasons I found the film interesting. It sprang right out of my last post, The Path You Might Have Taken. I’m going to curb the storytelling but if you’re like me and hate spoilers, skip on down to the romantic off-screen dialogue.
Agog, I became impatient with Eilis when she started toying with Jim. Entirely out of character, her actions just weren’t credible. I then realized the script would’ve fallen flat if she’d behaved predictably. Not only would there be no cinematic climax, no struggle meant no discovery, inner resolution, or growth. And wait. Haven’t I acted out of character at times? We don’t live and certainly don’t love in smooth moral trajectory. One foot in Brooklyn on the land of dreams an ocean away, Eilis tests the other on a diverging future as if the commitment she had made were exchangeable. She eventually pulls a foot out and learns the power and responsibility of choice. While I enjoyed the film, I was surprised at the slew of award nominations, considering that it wasn’t high drama or action. Goes to show we never tire of the sweet love story or the question of what might have been.
Speaking of which, I walked down the aisle 11 years ago this day. (Note the numbers 1-23. So the man doesn’t forget.) Thank you, honey, for wooing me all over again. Happy Anniversary.
Mrs: You had NOTHING and I married you.
Mr: I…really don’t know if I should be insulted…or proud.
—————————————————-
A calm, respectful request:
Mr: When I say something you think is stupid, can you just be SILENT? You can give me the you’re-such-a-dork look but can you just please stay QUIET? I will love you even more.
Mrs: Silence! Hmf. Silence??
Huh.
—————————————————
Regarding this transaction we call marriage:
Mr: Hey, I want my money back. *laugh*
Mrs: YoU? YOU want your money back??!
*laugh…laugh….laugh*
Wow, you said a mouthful, or wrote, as the case may be. As a husband (46 yrs) who still says dumb things, I would underline and capitalize the dialogue about ‘just be silent’. The ‘lecture’ is much worse than the ‘look’. Alas, I endure…got to go, I think I forgot to lock the door, or was it close the drawer all the way…
LOL. ” I think I forgot to lock the door, or was it close the drawer all the way…” Always something. =)
Reblogged this on Ancien Hippie.
Glad you liked. Thank you, PV.
Reblogged this on quirkywritingcorner.
Glad you enjoyed. Thank you. =)
Diana,
I should read others posts when posted. For that reason I offer you and your husband a belated Happy Anniversary!
You post so well validates the one and overwhelming truth: love conquers all.
And, if I may be allowed to offer an obvious compliment; you made a beautiful bride.
-Alan
Ha ha. Belated regards, feedback, and compliment all accepted. =) The girl in the film had to decide whom and what it is she loved! But I was glad she figured it out. Sometimes it takes a little time.
Time well spent.
-Alan
Marriage does take some work, but with the right person it’s worth it! We’re coming up on our 50th this year 🙂
WoW!!! !!
Happy Anniversary! You two look like a beautiful couple and you were a stunning bride! God bless to the next 11 and far beyond 😇
How kind, Chanel. I very much appreciate your connecting and the follow. Welcome!
Diana
I have also had times when I wanted to request my money back, so to speak. But there have been far more times that I realize I should award a bonus. All in all, we’re a good couple.
Niiice. Will share this with him. =) Happy for you. 😉
We don’t need to say stuff about reimbursement…. we keep our assets separate but share living costs.
You see, he is divorced with now 2 adult children.
He and I have been together for last 25 years after his divorce. We couldn’t ask of better partners and lovers for one another. So important not take each other for granted. Love, trust and respect is like a warm fuzzy blanket.
Makes me very happy to hear you speaking so satisfied and content in love, J.
Xxx
D.
Wishing you cozy blankets of love and respect always! Hey, valentine’s day is comin’. He and I are pretty modest…some small chocolates for one another or a card. (My birthday was in January so we don’t have to over-celebrate….)
I think it’s in the blood of Asian women to insist we don’t overcelebrate. My bday is days after V Day. =) I did my online shopping and the clothes should come in time. Heh heh! (Realized my wardrobe is still too black.)
Yes, wear bolder colours, girrlll!
LOL. I have a REALLY bold lip color ready… 😉
So you were married on Jan 23, 2005?
That is the day I became a mother! Congrats to both of you on the anniversary of your journey together. And I love that a day so precious to me is as precious to you 🙂
*Goosebumps* Yes, that’s the date. How wonderful. 1, 2, 3 is apparently something special. It’s funny how we mark life chapters. We can look back and point to a day when our destiny took its turn. Thanks for sharing. So glad you did.
Diana
Love the pics and your own story, sometimes I wonder what happened to the young couple we once were? Kids, debt, and up to our eyeballs in that stuff called life. Better to have loved and lived I guess. My father use to say at least you know you are alive when life got tough (he had nine kids) Happy anniversary, I hope the coming years are kind to you and your hubs Diana
Wow, nine! Your poor mother! (Not to speak ill of you or your siblings. =) ) And yes, you described it well, Kath. Life becomes a whirlwind of bills and doings. We renewed our commitmt to the marriage in the new yr. He’s been massaging my feet and back every night – often by the fire – and has been helping me sleep. =)
Xx
D.
Sounds like a keeper Diana my Mother is still my inspiration at 81 she is still a very positive lady and all those grandchildren keep her young too.
I am always humbled to hear of women like that. I know her attitude and character have had a lot to do with her longevity. Sounds like a wonderful family.
Xx
D.
I agree, she has always been a positive force and I am blessed to have been taught this gift, have a wonderful day. Almost over here.
Happy anniversary!
Thank you. =) It was.
The thoughts you shared moved me deeply…Happy Valentines Day. May you and your hubby share many, many more. Love you my sister and I have not forgotten you. Recovering! God bless!
Oh, I hope you are well, WB, and doing better everyday. Take good care.
Diana
Unusual for a guy, but I enjoy love stories, whether on the movie screen, in life stories and in real life. HAPPY BELATED ANNIVERSARY!!!! 🙂
Ha hA!! A confession from a male. YES!!
Yep, that’s me…lol! 🙂
I think you may have uncovered a truth about the differences between women and men around the world ~ women, just as with the plot of the movie, realize “…the script would’ve fallen flat if she behaved predictably” so the drama begins 🙂 There isn’t nothing quite like the small stormy squalls that do come to stir up the emotions, and allows us all to evolve and grow. Such a beautiful post and tribute D. ~ and I think your husband must be so very proud of you as a wife, mother and writer. Wishing you a happy filled year ahead.
I guess it’s with good reason the world’s come up with the descriptor DramA Queen. =) You’re too much, Randy.
🙂 We’ll never admit to it, but they do make life more interesting 🙂
At great cost. Ha ha ha.
Very, very good point 🙂
Since I plan on seeing Brooklyn this week I did skip the spoiler part. I looked at your photos read the captions which I just loved, loved loved! Happy belated anniversary to you and your husband Diana, here’s to many more years!
Ha ha ha. I look fwd to the post-view commentary. Let’s touch base. 😉 And thanks. Tmrw is my bday. Gifts, gifts, gifts! =)
Always asking for more now aren’t you, lol! Happy Birthday my friend, I hope it’s a wonderful one for you and your family.
You with your keen commentator’s eye and quick tongue. You’ll have things to say. =) And thx.
So how dya like the movie and how does my commentary jive with your take on it? =)
You know what, I didn’t end up seeing it. I’m bummed because I really wanted to before it leaves the theaters. It’s still on my list though so I will let you know!
yup…sometimes u DOwant your money back…and the rings and your Rottweiler too
LOL. We see it everywhere in Hollywood and in our neighborhood.
It’s all over here too, in central California…hell, the world 😬🙀😹
You know you married the right person when the years go by in a heartbeat. We just celebrated 30 years and it has gone by in the blink of an eye.
Aww, what a beautiful sum-up, Don. Hearty congratulations on a life well lived. Here’s to another 30. =)
This is lovely!! Congratulations ❤️
Thanks. =)
Happy 11th Anniversary! I wish you a lot more.
http://insearchofperfecthair.WordPress.com
11 thank yous. =)
Those last lines made me laugh… seriously😂
LOL. We made even the walking dead laugh.
Hahahaa…😂😂
That’s a great sense of humor to be very honest..👌👌😂👍
Made you laugh AgAiN!!
True that!
Lovely. May you have decades more. 🙂
Thanks, B. Hope things pan out well for you, too.
Unfortunately, my search for a lifelong partner recently started anew. 😦
Ooohhh. Very sorry, B. I know how you’d felt about her. I don’t mean to be too quick with verbal gestures of comfort but – speaking from experience – it is certainly for the best if it didn’t last to nuptials. Things are tough now but in 10 yrs (or a lot sooner) you will look back and be glad. *squeeze hand*
I completely agree. I’m sad and lonely, but there’s no bitterness, there’s no resentment and I’m going to be okay eventually. I will look back on her fondly and wish her well.
Aw, good for you. It can be impossibly painful but hey, that’s because you guys had gone all in with love. It is a messy business, love and passion. But life just doesn’t come done up in ribbon, as you know.
Exactly. No holding back. 🙂
A final thought from the Holistic Counselor =)…marriage can get so challenging it will exact the utmost patience and sacrifice on both partners. And often, at least one or both of you will not want to give at such a cost, cost to yourself because it is nothing less than dying to self. You are deeper and richer for this part of the journey, Ben. Take good care of your heart. Laugh and cry fully and go out and enjoy what is beautiful.
Wise words. I will try my best, learn and try to remain courageous. I will regret nothing and try to express my feelings without letting those feelings control me. Grown up stuff is hard … 😉
“without letting those feelings control me.” Good for you. I’ve been trying (and trying) to get to a post on feelings (for a year now). Remember reality isn’t always your feelings – yes, although they are your reality in the moment. You think grown-up stuff is hard. Just wait ’til you marry.
If you didn’t catch it, The Path You Might Have Taken might interest. I touch on the Korean language. No need to reply or comment under the post.
https://holisticwayfarer.com/2016/01/19/the-path-you-might-have-taken/
Can I just say ‘awesome.’
You most certainly may! LOL.
“Eilis tests the other on a diverging future as if the commitment she had made were exchangeable. She eventually pulls a foot out and learns the power and responsibility of choice.”
Does a lifetime commitment emerge from a marriage vow or does it arise from an accumulation of years of togetherness and mutual expectations? Yes, Eilis married Tony for a night but was that really a sufficient reason to return to Brooklyn if she believed she had found true happiness with Jim? You can’t have it both ways. Either Eilis had the power and right to choose who she wanted to spend her life with or she didn’t. Her marriage and one night with Tony were important considerations in her choice, nothing more.
Belated Happy Anniversary HW. I wish you both much joy.
There was no obligation to visit, MG. In any case, your perspective leads us to ask what the meaning of marriage is. That piece of paper from City Hall was supposed to mean more than a movie stub from a date. When Tony asked her to marry him, he was asking her to redefine herself and to belong exclusively to him . And the film wasn’t convincing that she had found true happiness with Jim. He was the monkey wrench thrown in to provide some real plot with tension. In fact, the courtship with Tony had been developed so thoughtfully (and convincingly) that it was hard (for me) to suddenly buy into Jim. But you are certainly allowed to ask your questions as a viewer, ever the devil’s advocate. =)
“your perspective leads us to ask what the meaning of marriage is.”
In my inimitable way that is exactly what I was attempting to do irrespective of the film script. I agree with you that the courtship with Tony seemed ‘right’ but I was posing a hypothetical question. The marriage vow is a lifetime commitment usually made when we are in the “enchanted garden” and at a time when we lack the emotional and intellectual maturity to make lifetime commitments. Nature wants us to have children and to be around to protect them, and if we generally expect marriage vows to be kept, more of them will be kept. Having said that, a reasonable man in a contemplative moment, might conclude that it is rather surprising that so many marriage vows are indeed kept until death.
Naïveté and finite understanding are a blessing. I don’t know who wOuld sign up for something that can be so challenging if they knew what lay ahead, outside that Enchanted Garden. We vest our words, oral and written, with binding authority (in vows and marriage certificates) to save us from ourselves. Fortunately, this keeps spouses working to keep loving going and their families together.
Hahaha you’re such a wonderful couple! I loved the pictures and the the whole story! May you get happier even more!
Thanks, NE. We try to keep it fun. (Sure beats crying, ha!) Appreciate the follow. Welcome!
Diana