Once upon a ballroom
they noticed one another
in furtive glance of boy and girl
“May I have this dance?” he asked
permission to step into her
space and take her hand
She followed him out
circled her hips
swiveled and he smiled.
1-2-3-and-4, 5-6-7-and-8
He knew there’d be more ands
to the eight count and the turns
East had met West, Mars wooed Venus
but she was a cautious goddess
He eased into rhythm while
she tried to study her feet
They triple-stepped to Bobby Darin’s
Sunday in New York where she was from
Who knew eight months would bring
them back to that room in tux and satin ivory
to laugh and Sugar Push and spin?
For better or for worse.
Though she never did get the Shag and Balboa
now he, he says she made him ambitious
Over the years He learned
to stand tall, say No
She’s come around, to say Yes
And still he does not ask for much.
If he listens he’ll make out her
Thank You in the prosaic
music of the day-to-day
They’ve tripped,
loved off key
shouted for a different song
They’ve forgotten steps but the moment
she asks he will jump
to dance again.
Exquisite! May your dance together never end.
-Ron-
Oh, thank you, Ron. Your commendation is not something I would’ve attributed to the piece.
Ron, do you blog? I’ve been having trouble getting to your site — if you even have one. I’d love your link.
feet
often wonder
what’s
next
Love it, Geo Sans. =) Thank you. You are something.
Excellent.
Feedback is so helpful, isn’t it? Because this isn’t one of my best, and I would not have thought it excellent. But I did think it had its place in the repertoire and it was a gift for my husband. Thank you for that bit of encouragement.
Absolutely beautiful! 🙂
Thanks, Amy. I did not think it was, was just a gift for Husband. I appreciate it. It’s a relief ha ha ha.
Hmm, they shouldn’t have danced, you know.
LOL LOL And why not, Professor?
Well, don’t you think it would have been neater if they had crossed blades or something like that?
But they wanted to make love, not war.
Disclaimer: A Holistic Journey is a site Rated G. Please interpret the statement above accordingly.
Absolutely. But a little blood during a sword fight wouldn’t be that bad… 😉
That would be a PL rendition of Romeo and Juliet indeed.
But certainly you see the interest in it?
Your interest. Not mine. =) This isn’t the Punchy Lands.
All my email followers have been wiped out in a sweep. Happen to you??
The professor apologizes. I do see the interest the other way around too. And I really enjoyed the post. Beautifully worded–as usual. 😀
No need of apology. =) I was simply writing of a dance, not a fencing match. And I appreciate the warm feedback.
Funny you should mention that, but I’ve just noticed that. What’s going on?
They fixed it. Or will soon.
priceless reminiscences !
beautifully done, it is like a bittersweet recounting, I like it 🙂
Trochaic tetrameter, if I’m not mistaken, certainly to begin with. A conscious decision, or not? Sorry, to get all technical straight up. The poem was enchanting and romantic, without being cloying. A skilful achievement and beguiling, also.
Confession: happy accident. Now, given my convictions about intent, does this reduce my art? LOL! For the first time, the question occurs to me: taking the opposite of “conscious”, could the subconsciousness of the production enhance it (the art)? But perhaps it wasn’t even subconscious, the meter that expressed the pulse of dance.
Seriously, you are too generous. The piece wasn’t one of my best, and that was (surprisingly) all right with me. Was simply what I wanted to say to Husband. Thank you.
But you felt the rhythm as you chose the word order, surely? That much was conscious, true. Or did you just go with the flow of the words, while writing it? It intrigues me, in regard to my own process when writing, is all…
“But you felt the rhythm as you chose the word order, surely?”
YES. You remind me that any accidents out of my brain are not full serendipity. It was originally “Once Upon a Simple Time” for a poem of intentionally simple language. I took cue from my posts Save Spit and Keep It Real (which I closed with keeping North in view) and settled on the Ballroom. And yes, also w/ sound and rhythm in mind. I don’t know that I ever “just” go with the flow, though indeed I am carried along a current at times.
Good ques. Thanks.
I have seen a few poems being critiqued and they point out at which point the poem strayed slightly from the meter only for the poet to reply that they never wrote the poem with a certain meter in mind. There may be the odd poem out there that due to a statistical probability has been written without any concept of meter consciously or subconsciously and yet has maintained perfect meter from start to finish, it would be akin to winning the lottery twice or 1000 monkeys typing out the works of Sir Francis Bacon.
Your ‘happy accident’ as you called it was not really an accident at all therefore any worries about not adhering to the principles of ‘intent’ can be dismissed. The ‘intent’ may not have been there in the sense of examining each step meticulously in the hope of perfection, but instead the mind took the route that was the most efficient within the laws of what was harmonically viable and produced ‘art’ the same way that nature produces a pine cone or a flower. Nature doesn’t have ‘intent’ in the sense that it knows the principles of the fibonacci sequence and tries to adhere to them when creating a flower, it just does what is natural. And ‘art’ as I have said before is at it’s best when it resembles nature closest.
So, Trochaic tetrameter it mostly was and I know that if someone pointed out to me that I had done this I would be happy to know that subconsciously, which ultimately is consciously, I was coming close to resembling nature.
This time the words aren’t as important and as you have pointed out already it is not your best as regards that, but the reason you posted it was so someone could come and notice the comment about Trochaic tetrameter left by someone else and use it to tell you something that you already knew but needed reaffirming, but that wasn’t your ‘intent’ I’m sure.
One final thing, is ‘centre alignment’ cliche?
As always, be happy,
Mark
You leave me with the biggest grin. (Why do I keep wanting to call you KID? To emphasize the irony of your physical age against your literary keenness.)
“but instead the mind took the route that was the most efficient within the laws of what was harmonically viable and produced ‘art’ the same way that nature produces a pine cone or a flower.”
You don’t cease to amaze me, Mark, nor do you leave me with much to add. I might’ve passed over your generous feedback but that you make a compelling case for nature. Can’t argue with nature, now, can I?
Me? Give you guys a poem where the words don’t really matter? =) He he yeah, the picture of the DaNcE between me and my guy was the point of this one.
As to your ques, it isn’t cliché so much as it borders on redundancy. But it gets away with itself for the left and right alignment options we have.
You realize you left me a post? I’d put it up if I were you, though you might fiddle w/ the presentation to fit your blog.
Fabulous … I’m currently on blogging break, but I had to comment on this one. Keep the dance spirit alive!
I saw you were on break, F. Thank you so much. I appreciate the encouragement and the time.
At some point, this made my heart dance. You’re quite a talented writer. I’ll be visiting more often.
I appreciate the golden praise and the follow, Uzoma. I enjoyed your writing, too. Let’s walk and talk.
Aw, that will be nice. Hope to see you around my end, too.
Just beautiful!
Thanks. =)
You’re very welcome! I love your writing and will visit soon again! I’m always so behind in reading other blogs now and I assume we’re all in the same boat! 🙂
How sweet of you, both the kudos and the pledge to return. I knew you were tied up, from your posts. Have enjoyed my visits. =) I have been three feet under homeschooling and attempts to write. And I did not think the Once Upon a Ballroom was necessarily beautiful — but sure, I’ll take it. 😉 Xxxx
It is a sweet dance of life and I think the poem is dear and lovely!
Thank you for the kind word, Judy — and your time. =) Keep up the great work on your blog.
Really lovely. I like your writing very much. Just beautiful…
N, I appreciate the quick revisit (and encouragement). I’m glad your writing’s going well, too. Love, Diana
Life is sweeter when we have someone to dance with. So glad you found your lifelong partner of satin and tux. Hang on tightly!
You’re right, Debbie. It iS sweeter but the dance is something you also do have to hold onto! Thanks for reading.
Diana
*jumps up to feet and gets ready to dance* 😀
Yep. =) I’m the clumsy one and the professor who has to figure out the steps in her head before she attempts them. =)
Well who doesn’t….(maybe except the people who are in So you think you can dance 😀 ) we all have to recall the steps in our mind before actually performing ! ^.^
Love the video. Very sweet.
You are so sweet to have watched, J. Thanks.
And the poem, of course.
Love this!
Thaaaaanks.
Loved it!! Keep dancing always!! 🙂
Was just thinking about you. =)
Been too busy writing to dance. ^^
Oh really!! Wow!! I now officially believe in telepathy! 🙂 🙂 And don’t worry about being busy writing…you will always manage to find the time for an occasional dance! 🙂
I like it my friend. And it is a wonderful gift for your husband. 🙂 –Curt
=) He’d asked for a dance post.
I love this piece, Diana!
=) It’s a repost from last year. Glad you caught it, then.
Xxx
D-
I heard the cadence of the music in the writing, the sashay, then I was enjoyably interrupted by a vision of a new color…..
A very nice piece of artwork there.
Fare ye well, (as u are wont to do)
Wonder which color. =)
Sure-
its yours to have and to hold, from this day forward…..
—e b o r y—-
Oh Diana,
I’m all misty! You are so kind to share a personal part of your life that’s so poignant and beautiful for the rest of us. I’m also commenting on your “Biggest Fan” post…may you have many, many more dances and homeruns. xo
So sweet. I disabled the comments on My Biggest Fan. =) I appreciate the enthusiastic read, M. (Wanna call you Micky.)
=)
All my favorite people call me Micky!!! I love that name and you are welcome to use it. I’d be honored 🙂
Honor is all mine,
Micky. =)
And during this season, I’m out for more home runs than dances. 😛
That was a beautiful poem. I got the feels from it. :’) Your blog is absolutely phenomenal. 🙂
Shoot. Thanks.
“Kicks carpet*
=)
Haha you’re welcome. That natural talent can’t be stopped… 😉
What a lovely tribute.
Thanks, Ian. Thought you caught this already. You rank tops among my faithful readers.
Let me guess…this is about Brangelina?
ROAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You know me too well.
He he he
Moving, love this!, the ripples this poetry can make 🙂
Aw, thanks. =)
You have a lovely way with words, and I enjoyed the poem. Sure your husband did too.
So sweet. Thanks. =) (He’d asked for a dance poem.) *wink*