In extension of The Writing Process: Sensory Details, Part 4, I share a handful of poems a few private students produced years back. The wording fell into place once the ideas came to life in the brainstorm of senses (explained in Part 4). Tip of the day: quotes wake up poems with the element of reality they provide. I quieted the protest of the artist in me and convinced her to allow the first two works in excerpt. Yes, a poem should be read in its entirety. But I’d like to keep to my objective efficiently – to provide samples of sensory descriptions at work:
Red is spicy.
Red is ketchup: “Oops! My favorite shirt!”
In a sunset, red pulls the moon.
Red gives us energy.
Red means it.
By Joseph, 1st grade homeschooler
The shades that wrap a rain forest,
The feeling you have after a good night’s rest.
Outstretch of a palm tree,
Grudge of envy.
The life that awakens from a long winter snow,
Green is the fourth color of the promise rainbow.
By Kelsey, 4th grade
Leaves sticky patch on little faces
By the merry-go-round
“Mommy, Mommy, Can I please…?”
Little girls and boys wave their
cotton candy stick triumphantly
Melts to their tongue
More fluffy bites
Leave sandy sweetness in their trail
By Kristen Chang, days before turning 13. Now all grown:
Kristin and I were studying imagery – literary and poetic jargon for mental picture.
13 thoughts on “The Writing Process, Part 5: Keep Painting”
Lovely thought to read
Thanks, Bee. I’m a bit taken aback at the genl’ response. Am glad even writers appreciate what the kids put out. I appreciate the support and comment.
I really liked the red one!!
You know, the response has been fascinating – and helpful. I mean, a professor’s liking the work of a first grader!! Thanks for taking a moment to comment. And I was thinking this morning….your insane creativity would work so well as a book. Thanks for the ongoing support.
Thank you, dear!! I am writing a book! (Oh, no!!) And who ever said that professor’s don’t like the beautiful work of a first grader? 🙂
Oh no? Ha ha…Aren’t you doing us a service with the book? =) I browsed your blog, as you know, but missed in what capacity you are a professor – if the info was there at all. Are you teaching now? What is your degree in? (And please don’t tell me you have a PhD in metaphysics of Punchy Lands).
I have the funniest thing to share…my husband and I were talking last night about how the strawb poem was not one of my best works and how I went against my better judgment to post it. Took that feeling to bed with me and dreamt that the moment I awoke I was going to remove it from the blog before anyone saw it bc it wasn’t worthy of readers’ time ha ha ha ha. I woke, in reality, to a surprising series of likes. LOL.
I’d love to share this one with you, for the humor of the moment….it did well, as far as reader response goes, until the Writing Series topped it and the system bumped it off the Most Popular list:
Thanks again for your time and the support. I plan to stay connected…will be back but am dizzy busy at the moment with two blogs.
It could be a service, but it could be quite scary, you know. And, you’re partly right. And how’d you know about my degree? You got it spot on!
I visited the link. My! You are very busy! Maybe you should take a vacation to the PL? Possibly.
We’ll definitely stay connected.
I am following again thank you my friend
Loved the one on red – “oops my favorite shirt”, happens to me ALL the time!
A professor commented that he really liked the RED, too….by little Joseph in 1st Gr!!! =)
A professor? THE professor, young lady!!
LOL. Vacation in PL sounds amazing.